All My Secrets
by ifonly13
Summary: Secrets are shared and kept between a writer, a cop, and their team. Chapter Seven is rated M.
1. Chapter One

_A/N: This drabble started as a mood-lightener for a heavier piece I am still working out, but it quickly became the more favored by my brain, so it is finished first. It's placed sometime in the future after season four, probably more like season six or seven (and wouldn't it be fantastic if that happened in real life?)._

_**Disclaimer: The genius god that is Andrew Marlowe owns Castle. I trust him with everything - I know I'd eventually screw something up. He won't.**_

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><p>"Kate! Slow down!"<p>

She turned, still running ahead, and laughed. "You're just too slow!" But she bent down and hooked the black heels over her fingers and dashed off again. Her dress clung to her body, soaked by the torrential downpour that was dousing New York City. Her hair had long given up on staying in the pins she had painstakingly attended to before leaving for the night and now hung down her back and on her cheeks.

She reached out a hand, using the brick of the building to swing herself around to face back down the sidewalk. He was making his way toward her, huddled safely under the umbrella, shaking his head at her. When he got to her side, he moved to get her out of the rain by positioning the umbrella over her head.

And she knocked it out of his hands. "Stop it with that. How many times have you just walked in the rain?"

Without another word, she started down the block again at a full sprint. The apartment was at the corner, empty for the night. Martha was out of town doing summer stock in Los Angeles and Alexis was at a girls weekend with her friends.

When she ducked under the awning and swiveled around, she didn't expect to be met with Castle's solid chest. She giggled, looking up at him from under her wet hair. "Hi."

"Hey, beautiful," he murmured, brushing a strand of brown off of her cheek. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers.

She pulled back, watched his eyes widen, then pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed him back.

Eduardo cleared his throat politely. "Welcome home."

"Oh, I certainly feel welcome." Castle winked at the doorman, looping his arm through Kate's before slipping the man a tip. "Keep dry, Eduardo."

They walked sedately through the lobby, calmly hit the 'up' button for the elevator, and stepped into the elevator.

Then the heat took over again. Castle pushed her against the elevator doors, tangling his hands in her hair. The heels dropped to the floor, her hands holding onto his shoulders. They nearly fell out when the doors opened. As Castle fumbled for his keys, Kate grabbed the shoes and pulled him toward the door.

The apartment was dark when they managed to get in, leaving a puddle of water outside where they had experienced trouble getting the key into the lock. Inside, though, they knew their way. He tossed her shoes across the room, watching them skitter under the coffee table and into hi study. She ran her hands under his suit jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. He walked forward, she backed up until her body hit the wall between the living room and kitchen. She tilted her head up, changing the angle of his kiss. And then, with a laugh, she ducked from under him, running toward the study and their room beyond that.

She heard him running up after her, his shoes squelching with the water from the rain. Rather than turn around, she held the doorframe of their room and ran in. Her dress clung to her as she wiggled it up over her head, tangling the deep blue silk into a ball.

His hands snaked around her waist, warm against the faint chill from the storm. He nudged her damp hair from her neck with his nose, placing kisses in the hollow behind her ear. When he pulled her back against him, she arched forward with a yelp.

"What?"

She jumped onto the bed, walking around it. "You're soaking wet!" As she sat against the headboard, he unbuttoned the white dress shirt, pulling it out of the top of the black pants. He kicked the shoes off, pulling his socks off in the same motion as the dress pants. Kneeling one knee on the bed, he kissed her, pushing her gently into the padded headboard. "Now I'm not."

She slid down the bed so he was on top of her. As he pressed his lips to hers once more, Kate pulled back, mumbling, "Wait." He raised a brow, holding himself above her with a mixture of frustration and worry across his face. "I need to tell you something."

"Now?" he asked, kissing her cheek lightly. "Can't it wait?"

She shook her head. "Not really, no."

They sat up. Kate pulled her legs up to her chest as Castle crossed his legs in front of her. "Castle, I…" When he reached a hand out, she hooked her pinky with his. With a deep breath, she looked up, meeting his eyes. "I'm late."

His brow did that adorable thing where it scrunched up as he tried to figure something out. Kate smiled; any girl would know what that meant immediately and she had assumed that he would as well, having lived all his life surrounded by women. So, she waited, watching him puzzle it out for himself.

Kate could tell the moment it hit him. His eyes lit up, his mouth fell open, and his finger tightened on hers. "Are you serious?"

"Would I joke about something like this?"

She wasn't prepared for his next move. He dove onto her, catching her wrists in his hands and holding them next to her head. With a tenderness she hadn't seen from him, he brushed his lips over hers, drawing a quiet moan from her. "I love you." Another kiss, another whispered proclamation of love. "Are you sure?"

Kate pushed her head up, pulling his earlobe between her teeth. "Lanie's running a blood test, but, yeah, I'm sure."

She watched as a range of emotions played out on his face. Passion forgotten, he jumped off the bed, running for the discarded pants, grabbing up his phone. "We need to tell people, Kate!"

"No!" she yelled, tumbling off the bed toward him. She placed her hand over the screen, halting his fingers as he typed out text messages. "Can she just be ours for now?"

The phone dropped onto the rug as he pulled her to him in a hug, his lips pressed to her hair. "Of course. Wait." Castle pushed her out to hold her at arm's length. "She?"

She shrugged. "I can hope, right?"

"So you want a girl?"

Kate turned away from him, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I want healthy. I want ours."

Castle placed a hand on either side of her hips, leaning over so that she fell onto her back. "Do you love me, Kate?"

"Always."

Lips met tenderly, urging a soft gasp from her. He placed butterfly kisses on her jaw, working his way down between her breasts, still covered by the fabric of her bra, and to her stomach.

Kate giggled when his lips moved against her skin, but she stopped to listen to what he was muttering against her. "Hello, little one. Before we get started, I have one request of you and it would make me very happy if you complied with it." Kate pushed herself up on one elbow, watching him with a smile. "Don't be too hard on your mother in the coming months. After that, you can be as difficult as you like. She'll hate it at first, but you'll be so much like her, she'll learn to love it.

"Just wait until you meet your older sister. She's so smart and beautiful. You'll be smart and beautiful, too. Just don't make Alexis too jealous, you know? And your grandmother, my mother, well, she'll teach you about living life in the moment. She's an actress, so she can be over-the-top, but you'll love her. And you'll have a host of aunts and uncles.

"Ryan and Jenny, they're Irish and one of the most adorable couples you'll ever see. Except for your parents," he said, angling his eyes up to look at Kate. "We win that prize, though I am a little biased. Then there's Esposito and Lanie. They're all spice and sass. Little one, you need to laugh, you go see them. Finally, there's your grandparents on your mother's side."

Kate, who had been holding it together for Castle's speech, felt the tears build up at the corners of her eyes. Without a word, she reached a hand down, twisting her fingers with his.

"Your grandmother died, but your mother solved that case. She didn't give up, she didn't back down. I'm sure your mother will tell you all about your grandmother. And your grandfather; he's the most perceptive person I've ever met. He'll tell you stories and watch movies with you and tuck you in at night when we can't be there."

"Castle."

He looked up. Kate was using her free hand to wipe tears from her face. He shook his head, holding a finger up. "I'm not done." He looked back down at her stomach with a roll of his eyes. "She can get grumpy when she's sleepy. Now, where was I? We finished talking about your grandparents. Okay. Your mother."

He paused, taking a deep breath and organizing his thoughts. "Your mother is the strongest woman in the world. Maybe not physically, but mentally she takes the award. She doesn't let a lot of people in, but once you wedge your way there, you'll find out how truly extraordinary she is. You won't have any trouble with that, though. She already loves you."

With a last kiss to the still-flat plane of her stomach, he inched up to kiss Kate's lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too." With a sigh, she rested her head on his shoulder, wiggling it under his chin.

He wrapped one arm around her shoulder, the other rested atop hers, covering the place where their child was growing.

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><p><em>AN: Hopefully, I'll be posting more finished fics now that I'm back from my summer internship and can sit around, writing and re-watching Castle for hours instead of working. There's about ten started fics on my desktop now, so I'm going to start tackling them all one at a time._

_Anyways, please review/comment! It seriously makes my day when I see e-mails letting me know that people care enough to drop a few words in a review for me!_


	2. Chapter Two

_A/N: You are all completely awesomesauce. That is, those of you who reviewed Chapter One. Those of you who added me to your Story/Author Alerts and/or your Favorite Story/Author lists? You are ah-may-zing. I cannot believe the amount of love I'm getting for this little story I came up with to make me smile after working out an incredibly depressing story. Because of your kind words, I flew through writing Chapter Two and managed to get it out faster than I can normally write._

**_Disclaimer: In Andrew Marlowe I trust. He owns the rights to this fantastic show and all of the characters involved herein._**

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><p>The loft was eerily quiet when Kate unlocked the door. Castle had a dinner meeting with Paula, so he was picking up Alexis at Paige's house on his way back from the restaurant. She flicked a light on as she went upstairs with the goal of a shower and pajamas. As comfortable as she was in four-inch heels and carefully pressed pants, the soft comfort of leggings and one of Castle's button-ups would always win a battle between the two outfits.<p>

She took the time to replace her heels in the closet, to hang up the navy blazer and draped top so they wouldn't wrinkle, and folded the pants to avoid having to send them to the dry-cleaners again. The movements were so familiar that they could have taken place in her own apartment, in her old life. With a shake of her head, she let her hand pause over her stomach. She wouldn't trade this for her life alone, without Castle there beside her.

The shower was hot instantly, thanks to the updated pipes in their building, and the steam curled around her like welcoming arms. For minutes, she simply stood under the spray, letting the heat and water pressure ease away the tension from the day. Then, slowly, she started washing her hair. It took longer than before, having grown out a few more inches, something that reminded her she was due to get it trimmed. The thought of perhaps having a girls day with Lanie swept through her mind as she massaged the shampoo out of the brown locks made darker by the water. When she reached for her body wash, a smile snuck onto her face. The red liquid was the perpetrator of Castle's constant noting of the faint cherry scent that followed her everywhere. She had considered giving it up – when he had first said it, she was more creeped out than amused by it – but it had grown on her. He had grown on her.

Thirty minutes later, she was curled up on the couch in a well-worn pair of black leggings and Castle's pale blue button-down, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, her wet hair pulled into a mess of a bun. She found a book on his seemingly-endless bookshelves, poured a glass of iced tea, managed not to burn the popcorn and settled in to wait.

A chapter in and she could tell it wasn't any good. She was spoiled by the rich plots that Castle wove around her and Clayton Gelb just wasn't living up to her expectations. She closed the book, sliding it onto the coffee table. As she sat back against the cushions, Kate thought about the words he had spoken last night. They had been simple and beautiful. She had learned things about him that she hadn't truly known before. She glanced around the apartment, knowing it was empty but still feeling a little strange doing this. Then, she bent her head and started talking.

"If you were out here, little one, it would be bedtime for you. I'd make sure you were asleep at a certain time. It's your father that will try and keep you out late with his stories or toys. He has the heart of a child. I don't think he ever truly grew up completely and I thank God for that every day. Sometimes it drives me crazy, but it's a part of him. And I love all of him, so I guess I love that childish side as well. He's such a great father, you know," she said with a laugh. "I suppose you don't actually know that. But I can tell you that he is. He raised Alexis, your sister, by himself mostly. And she's amazing.

"Your father is so smart. I'd never tell him this, but it is only thanks to him that some of my cases are closed as quickly as they are. He was so annoying when he first showed up, but now I can't imagine the precinct without him. You know he brings me coffee every morning, even after we fight?

"But he was wrong about something last night. It doesn't happen often, but it did." She looked up from her stomach, focusing on the photo hanging over his desk – the spiraling staircase. Her hands busied themselves by spinning her wedding ring on her finger. "I'm not the strongest person in the world. He saw me when I had myself pulled back together, after I had found the pieces of myself that had been scattered by my mother's murder. I know he wouldn't think I'm strong if he had seen me back then. I was a mess, my father was a mess, and the one person that could have pulled us out of our grief was the one person that was gone. Mom was always the grounded one in the family. Without her, Dad and I drifted. He took it harder than I did. But don't worry, little one, he's okay now. God, I wonder what he'll say when I tell him about you." Her voice trailed off, tears gathering in her eyes for the second time in a day. "What would Mom say about you?"

The door opened, letting laughter spill into the apartment. She turned to look over the back of the couch as Alexis fell to the ground on top of her bags from the weekend sleepover. Standing in the doorway, Castle laughed, stepping around his daughter. His eyes searched the rooms, landing on hers with a smile. "Hey."

"Hey there. I hope you didn't kill Alexis."

The girl sat up, pushing her hair back with a glare towards her father. "Nope, he's stuck with me."

Kate got up, setting the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. She scooped up one of Alexis's bags, shouldering the floral-printed duffel. "Come on. He can write while I help you unpack."

Castle stuck his tongue out as his daughter and wife walked up the stairs, their arms looped together. He was blessed that they had mended their relationship so well. Alexis had been angry at Kate and him. He had to endure a few arguments that he never would have predicted from his soft-spoken daughter, but he supposed that nearly watching your father die would have some effect on her. After a particularly vicious fight, Alexis had stormed out of the apartment. Castle later learned that she had taken a cab to the hospital, confronting Kate about the situation, though he never got the details of that conversation.

He gathered up the ceramic bowl Kate had left on the coffee table, only the unpopped kernels left in the bottom. He noticed the Clayton Gelb book next to the bowl and shook his head; he had thought she had learned that no one would top him in what he considered 'his genre.' He shelved the book, placed the bowl in the sink. Kate was right – he needed to write.

The study was dark, his laptop shedding only a faint glow onto the room. Castle flicked on the desk lamp, illuminating the area as he sat, opening the top of the laptop further and maximizing the document that had been minimized.

The light allowed him to see his keyboard, but it did more than that. It let him see the collection of items that had accumulated on the desk. There was the chocolate badge Alexis had given him for his birthday, the remote for his SmartBoard with his next book outline on the screen, and his X-Box controller that he had forgotten to throw back in the pile near the console. Resting on the base of the lamp was a single bullet casing. He had snuck it into the study from Kate's jewelry box when she was asleep. He wanted to be able to see it, to know that part of her life was behind her. The framed picture next to the lamp helped with that.

The photographer for their wedding was top-notch and he had managed to capture the typical wedding moments. Lanie helping Kate into the dress with Alexis holding the bouquet. Castle laughing with the Ryan and Esposito as they headed out of the room they had claimed at the boathouse. The vows. The walk back down the aisle created by oak benches. But he had also immortalized moments that Castle and Kate would never forget. Jim Beckett placing a loving kiss on his daughter's forehead before walking her down the aisle. Their linked pinkies at the altar at the Central Park Boathouse. Stolen glances between bridesmaids and groomsmen.

The photo on his desk was from the reception. They had managed to sneak away during a rendition of the YMCA from the guests, finding an empty piece of patio on the boathouse. Tiny white lights had been strung around the entire boathouse, a romantic way of lighting the area. Kate had slipped off her shoes, placing her a full head lower than him, so she had boosted herself up on her toes to kiss his lips gently, resting her forehead against his. Somehow, the photographer had captured the moment precisely. He sentimentally likened the lights to fireflies dancing around them while Kate preferred to think of them as stars. Either way, the moment was his favorite of the entire day.

Castle picked up his recorder, hitting the 'rewind' button so he could go back and figure out how to fit in the plot points he had thought of and mumbled into the device. He had started off with a journal, but after too many comments from people at the precinct about how he was always scribbling everything down, he had moved into the correct century and bought a portable recorder.

He nearly dropped the recorder when he hit 'play.' It wasn't his voice talking back at him; it was Kate's. It was quiet, barely audibly, but he held the recorder up to his ear, his eyes on the doorway to the study in case the woman in question appeared.

"_If you were out here, little one, it would be bedtime for you. I'd make sure you were asleep at a certain time. It's your father that will try and keep you out late with his stories or toys. He has the heart of a child. I don't think he ever truly grew up completely and I thank God for that every day."_

Castle's mouth dropped open slowly, a smile spreading across his face. He must have left the recorder on when he had run out of the apartment, late for the dinner with Paula. It had captured Kate was talking to the baby, just as he had done last night. Only he had seriously toned down his descriptions of their extended family because she had been right there. She didn't have that problem with the apartment to herself.

"_Sometimes it drives me crazy, but it's a part of him. And I love all of him, so I guess I love that childish side as well. He's such a great father, you know. I suppose you don't actually know that. But I can tell you that he is. He raised Alexis, your sister, by himself mostly. And she's amazing."_

He heard a thump, followed by a burst of giggles from upstairs. "You're right… Alexis is amazing."

"_Your father is so smart. I'd never tell him this, but it is only thanks to him that some of my cases are closed as quickly as they are. He was so annoying when he first showed up, but now I can't imagine the precinct without him. You know he brings me coffee every morning, even after we fight? But he was wrong about something last night. It doesn't happen often, but it did."_

He furrowed his brow, trying to think of what he had said wrong. Adrenaline started racing through his system, replaying the entire conversation and coming up blank on what he could have done or said to offend her. He knew how pregnant women could get and, while she wasn't that far along, he never knew how those pesky female hormones would react. He leaned closer to the recorder, his fingers crossed superstitiously.

"_I'm not the strongest person in the world. He saw me when I had myself pulled back together, after I had found the pieces of myself that had been scattered by my mother's murder. I know he wouldn't think I'm strong if he had seen me back then. I was a mess, my father was a mess, and the one person that could have pulled us out of our misery was the one person that was gone. Mom was always the grounded one in the family. Without her, Dad and I drifted. He took it harder than I did. But don't worry, little one, he's okay now. God, I wonder what he'll say when I tell him about you. What would Mom say about you?"_

She stopped talking when the door opened, the sound of Alexis's laughter caught on tape as well. But Castle wanted her to keep talking. Kate had never shared exactly what she had gone through in those months after her mother's death. He knew that she had seen a therapist to work through the grief and trauma, that her father had turned to alcohol to escape. He knew that she went from dreaming of following her mother's footsteps and going to law school and applied to the Police Academy as soon as she was cleared by her therapist. The writer in him wanted details, but the husband, the man that loved her, wanted there to be no secrets between them and he had forgotten about this monumental one.

"Castle, you coming to bed?" Kate called from the top of the stairs.

He placed the recorder next to his laptop, closing the computer down without having written a single word. "I'll be right up."

Tomorrow. He would ask her tomorrow about exactly what had happened after Johanna's murder.

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><p><em>AN: You know what to do now. See that little link in the center of the page? Yeah, the one that says "Review this Chapter." Click that and write something about this chapter (I prefer praise, but love constructive criticism as well)! Keep up the reviewing and I may just have a third chapter for you all which is crazy since I never commit to multi-chapter stories and I already have up to four chapters outlined. Get me some more reviews and I may be encouraged to write faster..._

_Also, I've changed the title of this piece from "Late" to "All My Secrets." The first title only applied to the first chapter and since this has (miraculously) evolved into a multi-chapter piece, I've altered the title to hopefully reflect the majority of events that I have lined up._


	3. Chapter Three

_A/N: I honestly cannot thank all of you reviewers enough. There are not words to describe my emotions when I get e-mails with such lovely words from you humanoids. Same goes for those of you adding me as a Favorite Author/Story or putting me on Author/Story Alerts. Those of you who haven't reviewed and are lurking - don't be shy! I don't bite._

**_Disclaimer: Andrew Marlowe owns Castle. I do not. I'm just along for the ride, using his genius to survive a hiatus that is killing everyone._**

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><p>They had learned to put the alarm clock on Kate's side of the bed. Castle had the ability to accurately hit the 'off' button while still unconscious so he could roll over and go back to sleep, a talent that had made Kate late for work more than a few times after she had first moved in. So, when the high-pitched beeping filled the room, joining Castle's quiet snoring, Kate's slim hand was the one to reach out and hit the button to silence one of the sounds. She groaned, but she still swung her legs out of the bed. Castle's arm, which had been slung across her waist, fell to his side as she walked to the bathroom, starting up the shower as she brushed her teeth.<p>

The shower was quick, just enough to wake her up. Wrapped in a towel, she leaned on the doorway between the bathroom and the bedroom, looking at the man still snoring lightly in the bed. She had a sappy grin on her face when she leaned over him, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Good morning, handsome."

And then jumped back when a mumble answered, "Good morning, beautiful."

"Oh." She blinked at him as he rolled over, looking up at her. "You're awake."

"Well, duh. Alarm went off."

"Good." Kate wandered to her closet, holding the towel up with one hand as she shifted through her collection of tops for something to wear. Criminals may not appreciate her fashion sense, but she liked to think someone did.

Castle got up, wrapping his arms around Kate's waist and resting his head on her shoulder. "Go with this one," he said, pointing out a plain heather grey v-neck sweater. "With that blue scarf you love."

She turned before he could move away. Something was off in his voice; she had known him for almost seven years and she could tell that, even for a decidedly non-morning person, something else was wrong. "Castle, you okay?" Even his eyes were distant as she searched them for a clue.

"Yeah. Fine." He pulled out of her grasp, headed toward the bathroom.

There was an internal struggle that lasted seconds between letting him tell her when he was ready or confronting him. The former won out as she took down the sweater he had chosen along with a pair of dark jeans, dressing to the sound of the sink running in the other room. She sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to come back out, hoping that he was just being cranky because he had bed-breath.

Castle was holding her hair brush when he finally opened the door. She reached for it, but he moved it out of her way. "Turn around." When she raised a brow, he twirled his finger to emphasize the order. "Please."

Confused and worried now, she moved further onto the bed, crossing her legs. She felt him sit behind her, pulling her hair over both shoulders so it all was lying on her back. Then, gently, he started brushing the tangled mess into orderly brown waves. Kate knew something was wrong now.

"Castle, what's going on?" she asked, her eyes closed. "Did you get kicked out of the publishing house or-"

"No, nothing like that." He parted her hair into three sections and began braiding it loosely. He untwisted a hair elastic from his wrist and secured the braid at the bottom. Then, he rested his head on her back, his arms snaking around her.

"Hey, you're scaring me." When he wouldn't let her face him, she wrapped her hand around his forearm, squeezing it tightly. "What's going on?"

She felt his lips move against her back. "What happened after your mother was murdered, Kate?"

Her heart stopped. "Castle… Not now. I need to get to work." _That's right, Kate,_ she told herself bitterly, _you avoid that one question you hoped he'd never ask._

His arms tightened around her. "No. Kate, I heard what you said last night."

"What do you mean?"

There was a shift, the mattress dipping as he moved, then he placed the recorder on the bed next to them, hitting 'play' with his thumb. Suddenly, her head was spinning. Kate pushed herself out of his arms, scooting across the bed to rest her back against the headboard, staring at the little silver recorder, hearing her voice come out of it. Then, slowly, her eyes rose to meet his.

"You recorded me?" she whispered, hurt and betrayal spun together in those three words.

He paused the recorder, shaking his head. "I was using it before the meeting. Taking notes, putting them into the draft. I must have left it on when I ran out and it just…"

"Happened." Her head fell into her hands and she focused on taking deep breaths. "Okay. Let me just call Esposito and tell him I'll be late today."

She got up, taking her cell phone and walking from the room. Castle could hear her talking to the other detective, saying she'd be in after noon, that something had come up. A minute later, she came back, turning the phone nervously.

When she sat on the bed across from him, she linked their pinkies on the comforter just as they had at the altar on that fall day. The other hand took out the necklace that hung around her neck, gripping the ring that swung on the silver chain as though it were her lifeline.

She wasn't looking at him when she started. Instead, she focused on the blue stone set in her mother's ring. "I was pre-law in college. I realize now, having been on the other side of that conversation, that I gave Detective Raglan and the other cops hell that night, questioning them about protocol. I was such a know-it-all, thinking that my criminal law class had taught me everything about procedure. After they left, I sort of collapsed. Dad had already gone through a glass of wine at dinner, but after we got the news, he moved onto scotch, whiskey, anything that we had in the apartment.

"I sort of imploded." She laughed, short and humorlessly. "I was so angry. But those first few days, I was pretty numb. I was on Winter Break, so I didn't have to worry about missing classes." For the first time during the story, she looked up. His eyes were sad, nothing like the bright blue that she was used to. "I told you before I went through a wild-child phase?" When he nodded, she smiled a little. "This made that phase look like I was the perfect child. I can only imagine what Mom would have said about my actions during that month. I crashed my bike, broke my wrist. I didn't leave my room unless I was going to class. There were boys. Lots of boys. And Dad couldn't help, you know? He was so far into the bottle that even my antics couldn't pull him out. We were messes.

She shrugged. "Dad joined AA and I started seeing a therapist. He had to keep rejoining, but he knew that Mom wouldn't want him to drown his sorrows, especially over her. I dropped out of college, applied to the Police Academy."

Castle's voice was hoarse when he spoke. "And he was okay with that?" When she raised a brow, he clarified, rubbing the back of her hand. "Dropping out of college and all that?"

"I didn't really give him a choice. I wanted to rebel, but I didn't want to dishonor Mom. Joining the Academy was the middle-of-the-road choice. It scared him, thinking that I was roaming the streets with the same people that had killed her. It gave me something else to think about, to focus on. If I spent too much time thinking about her when I was out on the streets, I could get myself killed." There was a deep breath, cleansing her of the memories. "But it doesn't matter anymore. The past is the past." She smiled at him, the emotion not reaching her eyes. "So, does that answer anything for you?"

"Well, since I didn't really know what I was searching for in the first place, I'm not entirely sure." He kept his eyes on her. She kept hers on her mother's ring, turning it in her fingers. "Come here, Kate."

He tugged on her fingers, still woven with his, until she was curled into his lap. "You're right. The past is the past. But it shapes our future. Did you ever think about what you would be doing right now if your mother had shown up for dinner that night with you and your father?"

Kate leaned her head back onto his chest, shrugging. "Partner at a firm in the city, taking the train in from the suburbs, and having dinner with my parents at our favorite restaurant once a week."

"Married?"

"If the right guy came along."

"Children?"

"If the right moment came along."

He dropped a kiss on her neck. "And is now the right moment?"

She turned her head to the side, her mouth inches from his. "Are we still talking about the hypothetical future or the present?"

"Both. Either." He moved in those few inches to kiss her. "So?"

"The right guy and the right moment came along. Present day." She returned the kiss. "Are we okay now?"

"Always."

"Good." She bounced off the bed, finding the blue scarf that he had suggested, and wrapping it once around her neck. She slipped her feet into a pair of dark grey heels so tall that they boosted her up to eye level with Castle. "Listen, I don't have to be at the precinct until the afternoon. Want to grab lunch?"

"Detective, I would love to."

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><p><em>AN: This chapter was tough. I didn't know where it was going half of the time. I was spoiled with the ease of the first two chapters. So, in your reviews, do not hold back with any possible dislike for this chapter. Don't sign it with your FFN name if you don't want to, but I do appreciate honest reviews. I'm still not entirely sure if I'm happy with this chapter, but sitting and staring at it wasn't making it work any nicer, so..._

_Keep reading if you disliked this chapter - the next one is going to be back to our usual, bright notes!_


	4. Chapter Four

_A/N: I honestly cannot thank you enough. Never have I had as many reviews on a piece than I have on AMS. Just today, someone recommended this story. I'm going to get personal here for a second - it is people like you, dear readers, that make me believe that I could hack it as a writer. I understand that with fanfiction, I'm borrowing other writers' characters, but writing a decent story obviously needs some talent. I may be reading into your love, but I take it you all believe I have an iota of talent and for that, I thank you._

**_Disclaimer: Again, I'm simply borrowing Andrew Marlowe's characters in order to survive the truly-painful hiatus he has us suffering through. Seems fair enough..._**

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><p>The elevator smelt like Chinese food. Kate had ordered too much at the restaurant on purpose, wanting to bring the leftovers in for the boys as a thank you present for covering for her that morning. But she had another stop to make before she could drop off the carry-out boxes and watch the wolves attack.<p>

When the elevator stopped on the first floor after the two story ride up from the parking garage, she had to turn and place a hand on Castle's chest when he started to follow her out. "Girl talk. You bring the food up to Esposito and Ryan. I'll be up in five."

She reached back into the elevator car, pressing the button for the fourth floor, giving him a little wave when the doors closed. The hallway to the morgue was chilly, making Kate glad for the sweater and scarf.

"Lanie, I need-" She stopped short when she saw what her friend was doing. The petite woman was holding a rotating saw like something out of a horror movie, the blade hovering above the corpse's head. "Good God, Lanie!"

The whirring of the saw stopped. "Oh hey, sweetie!" She placed the saw on the metal tray suspended over the body and lifted the plastic shield she had over her face. "Missed you this morning."

"Oh really?" Kate asked, boosting herself onto one of the empty autopsy tables. "Go up to see me or Esposito?"

Lanie stripped off her gloves, tossing them into the biohazard can in the corner. "You, of course! Where were you and Writer Husband?"

"Talking. Then lunch." Her friend sat next to her, swinging her legs under the table. "Which we need to do soon."

"Talk or have lunch?"

Kate shrugged. "Both. I need a girls night. Or day. Whichever works for you."

"Well, that 'girls whatever' will have to be a dry event. I got the results of your test back this morning while you were having some morning sex." Lanie dodged the punch aimed for her shoulder, hopping down to go to her desk.

"We weren't-" she cut off, sighing heavily – she knew when to fight Lanie and now was not that moment. "So, I assume we're officially positive?"

Lanie handed over the folder, unmarked except for a little drawing of a rook chess piece on the tab where a name would go. Kate smiled at the reference, flipping the folder open to scan the results. "Thanks, Lanie, for keeping this under the radar."

"Hey, what are girlfriends for?" Lanie asked, hip-bumping Kate lightly. "Who else knows?"

"Just you and Castle. And I'd like to keep it that way for now." She tucked the folder into her bag among its twins, completely inconspicuous. "Listen, do you have tomorrow off?"

The medical examiner was pulling out a new pair of gloves from the box on the wall, prepared to get back to cutting the man's skull open. "Girl, I got any time or day off for you. What exactly are you planning for this 'girls whatever?'"

Kate's phone vibrated, a text from Castle appearing on the screen. _Where are you?_ She ignored it. "Castle knows a spa right outside the city, Serenity. I can have him pull strings and get us in there or we can kick him out of the loft and just watch chick flicks and paint our nails and gossip."

"As much as I would love to name-drop to get into a spa, I like the idea of eating ice cream in my pajamas so much better."

When Lanie hefted the saw again, Kate moved toward the door. "Alright. I'll give you a call or something later, let you know what time the loft will be testosterone-free. Oh," Kate said, ducking her head back into the morgue, "there will be a trip to the hair salon at some point during this event. Dead ends need to go."

"Sounds like a plan, girl. And congratulations!" she called after her retreating friend.

Kate shouted back a "thank you." The elevator still smelled of fried pork and rice, a smell that would linger for the rest of the day.

Castle was holding court at her desk, he and the boys wielding chopsticks and fighting over the last dumpling.

"Isn't there something you lot should be working on?" When she was met with three sets of glares, she raised her hands in surrender. "Obviously food takes precedent. Don't let murder disturb your schedules."

"Aw, come on, Beckett! The baby's been keeping Jenny and I up until, like, three in the morning! My diet's suffering," Ryan spoke around a mouthful of noodles. He and Jenny had just welcomed Baby Number Two a month ago, little Claire joining one-year old Aiden.

"Then feel free to take your time." She dropped her bag on her chair, picking up her mug to go to the break room. The coffee in the pot was lukewarm – she poured some, then put her mug in the microwave to heat it up to an acceptable temperature. As she watched the mug revolve in the microwave, she thought about what Ryan had gone through with both Aiden and now Claire. Sleepless nights, headaches, fights with Jenny over taking days off to stay home because the babysitter couldn't make it. And that was with a detective that certainly didn't pull the same all-nighters as she did.

She jumped when someone spoke behind her. "We're going to have to wean you off caffeine." With a scowl, she took the mug out, adding milk and sugar and stirring it slowly.

"And we'll need to duct tape that mouth of yours if you can't keep quiet about the one thing I don't want public knowledge at the moment." Kate took a sip of the coffee, leaning her back against the counter.

He reached around her, brushing her arm with his fingers, pulling out one of the spare mugs and pouring himself a cup. "Remember, my safe word is 'apples.'" He smiled, that charming one that had fans at his signings swooning, then turned to head back out to the luncheon taking place in the bullpen.

Normally, after a case that lasted a week and had everyone on the team at each other's throats with exhaustion and frustration, a day without a single case would have been welcome. Ryan had ducked out early to relieve the babysitter at home with Aiden and Claire. Esposito was perfecting his game of Solitaire on the computer. Castle was plotting out a chapter on the legal pad she kept on her desk. And Kate had her head balanced on her hand, fighting to keep her eyes open.

She wanted to leave, to go home and curl up on the couch and sleep. But what type of person did that – came in late and left after two hours of sitting at their desk? She had files from her bag spread out across the desk, covering the keyboard and the mouse, her eyes blankly scanning them.

"Beckett."

Her head snapped up, along with Castle and Esposito's. Captain Gates stood in the doorway to her office, her arms crossed.

Kate hated that her voice sounded groggy. "Sir?"

"Go home. I can't have you sleeping in the bullpen." Gates turned, the office door clicking shut behind her black power-heels.

"Shit." She shoved her chair backwards, slinging her purse over her shoulder. She was halfway to the elevator by the time Castle shook himself out of staring at the door to the captain's office and jumped up to follow. He was barely able to slide between the closing doors.

"Kate, what's wrong?"

She hit the back of her head sharply against the elevator wall, then let it rest there. "Nothing. Nothing is wrong at all."

Castle stepped in front of her, lifting her head up. "Let me guess. You're exhausted. You're angry at yourself and at Gates. You feel sick to your stomach. Your whole body aches."

"You're pretty good at this," she muttered, tucking her head into his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I've been through it before when Meredith was you-know-what," he said, earning a smirk from her for avoiding the word 'pregnant' while in the precinct.

When the elevator opened to the parking garage, she had her arm looped through his. Without a word, she handed over the keys, letting him take the driver's seat. The drive from midtown to SoHo was faster than usual due to the lack of rush hour traffic, but as Castle parked the unmarked cruiser in its spot in the garage below their building, he noticed that Kate had still managed to fall asleep.

He shouldered her purse, scooping her up in the next motion. Eduardo opened the door for him, followed him over to hit the elevator button for the correct floor.

"She's okay, Mr. Castle?"

Castle smiled, nodded to the doorman. "Fine. Just tired. Working those strange hours eventually takes its toll."

Kate shifted when Castle unlocked the apartment, wrapping her arms around his neck and pushing her nose into his chest. "Don't need to be carried."

"Of course not, Kate. Just think of it as lying down, but in my arms."

She didn't complain when he sat her on the bed, taking her shoes off and placing them in line with the rest in the closet. When he turned around, she was curled up, asleep again. Castle closed the shades, blocking out the setting sun, before going back downstairs.

A quiet apartment was never the ideal writing condition for him – he needed sound, movement, chaos in order to pull details together into an organized story. The SmartBoard was crowded with bubbles of information for the nearly-completed draft of _Taking Heat_. At first, he had tried to keep the series clinically separate from his feelings for Kate. He knew that adding too many of the details of their relationship would push her away. But now it was different. Once he and Beckett caught up to Rook and Heat, pieces of their relationship started leaking into the novels on their own. After Beckett was released from the hospital, Castle had found a way to write Montrose out of the books gracefully, a tribute to Montgomery's last stand. A month after Beckett agreed to move in with him, Heat suddenly decided that she preferred living in Rook's loft. Following their real-life wedding, he had Rook propose to Heat.

But this was different. Castle wasn't sure how Kate would feel about him writing in a scene in which Heat reveals that Rook may want to invest in some baby proofing locks.

Instead of puzzling through the intricacies of what he could and could not put down on page, he opened his laptop and started searching for something he hadn't looked at for almost twenty years.

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><p>"Yo, did you take the Gere file before you left?"<p>

Esposito could practically hear Ryan roll his eyes through the phone. "Nah. I think Beckett might have taken it home last night. Check her desk."

"Will do. Give my favorite niece and nephew a kiss for me, will ya?"

"I'm sure they'd send some back to you if they weren't both sleeping. See ya tomorrow, Javi."

Esposito wheeled his chair over to Beckett's desk. The files from the afternoon were spread out across the scarred top, cases mixed together in a confusion that only she understood. Focusing on the tabs that identified cases by number and victim surname, he flipped through the chaos, searching for 'Gere.'

"Beckett, seriously, girl. You need to get a system to organize this stuff. What if something important comes up and I need to find one of your files in this… whatever, and can't and then some bad person gets away and…"

The file tab that his thumb rested on didn't have a case number or a name. In the center of the tab, someone had drawn a little rook chess piece. Curiosity won out his knowledge of Beckett's need for privacy. She did, after all, leave it out on her desk so it couldn't be that important to her.

He flipped the manila cover open, scanning the familiar medical examiner report form. Then he had to read through it again to make sure he was reading the things that were outlined in the report correctly. Hastily, he closed the file and shuffled the others around on top of it, trying to make it look like it hadn't been touched.

"Santa Madre de Dios…"

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><p><em>AN: What exactly is Castle looking for on his laptop? What will Esposito do with his new-found knowledge? What will Kate and Lanie talk about while they paint their toenails in the loft? **Stay tuned!**_

_Again, I thank every single one of you doods. I've never, ever written more than a one-shot. It is because of your kind, heartfelt words that this sweet little one-shot turned into two chapters, then three, and now a fourth. And believe me, there are at least three or so chapters to go. They may not come as quickly as the first few chapters since I have a few other pieces I'm playing with, but they will be posted eventually. Because you are all so awesomesauce and I love you. Always..._


	5. Chapter Five

_A/N: This is the longest one I've done - almost 3,200 words! I cannot thank you all enough, because you are the reason this piece is continuing. You inspire me in so many ways with your kind words, favorites, and alert adds. I'll let you know that you have given me the courage to publish some of my other works that I had been hiding. Keep an eye out on my page for a few more pieces popping up!_

**_Disclaimer: The events are mine. The characters are Andrew Marlowe's. It's better that way._**

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><p>Thursdays were Kate's Regular Day Off. Normally, that meant she dragged herself out of bed at the crack of dawn for a run, showered, and made it into work for nine o'clock. She didn't know the real definition of a RDO.<p>

This Thursday was different. She still went for a run around the neighborhood. She still showered, wrapped herself in a robe, and left her hair down to drip-dry as she made breakfast. With a hip propped against the island counter, she buttered a piece of toast before taking a bite. The smell of coffee filled the kitchen and she figured that was the reason she heard footsteps upstairs, declaring that Castle was up; Alexis was never that heavy-footed.

Sure enough, he came down the stairs two minutes later looking like he had just rolled out of bed, wearing loose flannel pants and a white t-shirt. His hair was completely flattened on one side, sticking out in every direction on the other. His cheek had the impression of the wrinkled sheets on it, his jaw darkened with just a hint of stubble from the night.

"G'morning," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair and causing even more disorder. "What're you doin' up?"

She poured two mugs of coffee, handing him one before adding sugar and milk to hers. "Kicking you out." When he looked hurt and confused, she patted his cheek, letting her fingers skim over his chin. "Lanie and I need the loft for the day."

"Will there be pillow fights?" he asked hopefully, that familiar boyish twinkle lighting up his eyes. The hand that had touched his cheek suddenly had hold of his ear, twisting it lightly.

After a few seconds of listening to him whimper, she released him. Calmly, she took a sip of her coffee and watched as he rubbed his ear. "She has dinner plans tonight with Esposito, so she should be cleared out before six o'clock tonight. You'll be free to return at that time."

"Seriously? You're kicking me out of my own apartment?"

She smiled over her shoulder at him as she headed upstairs to get dressed. "_Our_ apartment, oh wedded husband. What's yours is mine and all that."

Casual was the dress code for the day. She found a pair of jeans, a loose light grey top and a short-sleeved charcoal cardigan that belted at the waist that hadn't seen the light of day for a while. Barefoot, she walked down the hall from their bedroom to poke her head into Alexis's room. The girl was awake, sitting on her bed with three textbooks open and spread out on top of the comforter, scribbling in a notebook.

"Hey, Alexis. You want breakfast or anything?"

"Thanks, but no. I'm going to grab something on the way to class." Alexis hadn't followed Ashley to Stanford, deciding to stay closer to home at Columbia. She and Ashley saw each other twice a month, one of them flying to the opposite coast to see the other for the weekend and they Skyped nightly. Kate had been impressed that they had adjusted so well to a long-distance relationship, something she had never managed – a week of trying it with Will after he moved to Boston had shown her that.

Kate nodded. "Lanie's going to be over for the day. Just wanted to warn you what you might be coming home to this afternoon."

"Not a problem, actually." When Kate looked confused, Alexis clarified. "I've got to run rehearsal for the play again tonight since the director's sick. I won't be back until late."

"Hope she gets better soon or it'll be your name in that position on the playbill."

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Even if she didn't show up for a single rehearsal, Naomi would still find a way to get her name there. I'm happier without that enemy."

"Fair enough." Kate ducked back out to let Alexis finish up her notes. When she went back downstairs, Castle was still standing in the kitchen, nibbling on the piece of toast she had left on the plate. "Hey! You need to get dressed and find another home for the day!"

"Fine, fine." He gave her a kiss as he passed by. "No need to be pushy just because you're-" He dodged her hand as it went for his ear. "I'm going!" he yelled back at her as he ran up the stairs.

Kate shook her head, smiling as she picked an apple out of the bowl on the table. As she took a bite, Alexis jogged down the stairs, her worn leather messenger bag slung over her shoulder, another two books cradled in the crook of her elbow.

"Have fun with Lanie, Kate!" Alexis called back as she dashed out the door.

She was just tossing the apple core into the trash when Castle came back downstairs, wearing jeans and a white button-up open over a deep green t-shirt, a pair of Converse on his feet. His hair looked normal again, the bit of stubble gone from his face.

He gave a little spin in front of her. "Better?"

She stepped up, running her hands under his t-shirt and over his chest. "It'll do."

There was a knock on the door just as he touched his lips to hers. Kate slipped out of his arms, going to answer the door. He grabbed her wrist before she could get away, pulling her back over and resuming the kiss. For a moment, she let herself be swept away by him. Then she nipped his lip. "Control yourself, Castle."

Lanie was on the other side of the door, her hand raised to knock a second time. "There you are, girl! Thought you and Writer Boy were having more morning se-"

"Morning what?" Castle asked from behind Kate, rubbing his lower lip and glancing between the two women.

"Nothing, Castle. Now shoo!" Kate said, alternating between making little waving motions with her hands and physically pushing him out the door.

When he turned around in the hallway, she leaned up to give him a quick kiss. "See you at six," she whispered against his lips before closing the door on his face.

"Give him a few minutes to get downstairs and into a cab. Then we can head off to the salon," she told Lanie, hooking her arm through the other woman's. "I've got ice cream and chocolate stocked, a few movies, and I finally dug the nail polish out from under the sink."

"Sounds like you've got everything we need! Except, well, alcohol, but…"

Kate pulled a coat down from the closet, slipping her arms into it. "We can get you some wine if you need it, but I like to think my company is entertaining enough. Lord knows Castle keeps enough in the house."

They took a cab to the hair salon, chatting as their usual stylists snipped off dead ends and blow-dried. Slowly, Kate felt herself relax on the ride back to the apartment. She and Lanie had bonded quickly when she had joined the force. Both were females in a male-dominated field, the rookies and therefore the subject of hazing from the superiors. They had spent many hours at one another's apartments, complaining about what they had been forced to do during the day, sharing details of their personal lives, and eating ice cream until after midnight. They had become each other's outlet for stress.

"So, what's first?" Kate asked as she unlocked the apartment, kicking her flats off in the general direction of the stairs.

Lanie had curled herself onto the couch, thumbing through the stack of DVDs that Kate had set out the night before. "You grab the ice cream and spoons, I'll put 'The Devil Wears Prada' in, and we can talk over Meryl and Anne."

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><p>Castle took a cab to the precinct after stopping for coffee. He knew Esposito and Ryan would be in since they took Tuesdays off, so he figured he'd pester them for a while before he was kicked out of the Twelfth as well.<p>

"Good morning, boys," he announced as he stepped off the elevator and saw the two detectives deep in conversation at their desks. They narrowed their eyes as he approached, glancing behind him at the elevator.

"Where's Beckett?" Esposito asked, crossing his arms even as Castle placed the cup of coffee on his desk.

Castle sat in the chair next to Ryan's desk, holding out the cup holder to Ryan. "With your girlfriend. She didn't tell you?"

"She might have mentioned something about that…."

Ryan spun around in his chair so he could face the other two. "Okay, so we know why Beckett's not here, but why are you here?"

"She kicked me out. I'm gracing you two with my presence." The pair rolled their eyes. He ignored them. "What's on the docket?"

"Nothing," Ryan said, turning around to open Solitaire on his computer.

Castle glanced at Esposito, who shrugged. "Slow week, bro." He got up, moving to Beckett's desk. The files from yesterday were still spread across it in complete disorder. Cleaning it up would take at least an hour, then he could find another home for the rest day.

He decided alphabetically would be most efficient and it appealed to the writer in him. After thirty minutes, he had two neat pile of folders started on either side of the desk as he scanned a file in his hand. It was a closed case, all of the paperwork complete, but she had never gotten it down to Records to get it filed. He tossed it onto the much larger pile of unfiled cases. For a woman who thrived on order in her life, she had a hard time of keeping her desk organized.

The next file didn't have a victim's name on the tab. Instead, there was a visual representation of his last name sketched on it. When he opened it, there was a medical examiner's report that he was able to interpret as Kate's pregnancy test from Lanie.

"Any of you touch Beckett's stuff?" he called out.

The boys looked up from their computer screens where, as far as Castle could figure, they were playing each other at checkers over the internet. "Nah," responded Ryan. Esposito just shook his head, his lips pursed together.

Castle slipped the folder into the top drawer of her desk, reminding himself to take it home that night. Again, for someone so concerned about maintaining her privacy, she was pretty careless to leave this lying around in the precinct where anyone could read it.

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><p>They alternated between watching Miranda Priestly haze Andy Sachs and gossiping about everything in between spoonfuls of ice cream.<p>

"So, you still planning on keeping this a secret?" Lanie asked, scraping at the still-frozen center of her chocolate ice cream.

"Yeah. And if you want to continue to live, you'll keep your mouth shut as well." Kate stretched her legs out, resting them on the coffee table. "I don't need Gates any further down my throat than she already is."

Lanie waved the spoon at her friend. "She won't be around for long. That woman is determined to move out of the Twelfth faster than she moved in."

"Maybe she'll be gone by the time I need to tell anyone…" Kate mused, scooping up black raspberry ice cream and biting it off the spoon.

On-screen, Andy was running around New York looking for the Harry Potter manuscript for Miranda.

Lanie poked Kate's leg with her toes. "Thought of names yet?"

"I just found out I was pregnant two days ago!" Kate yelled, poking Lanie back. "Don't I have seven months or so to think about things like that?"

"Honey, I guarantee you that Castle already has a list for you."

Kate shook her head. "Oh please… When would he have had time to come up with a list."

Lanie shrugged. "Maybe while you were sleeping all afternoon yesterday?"

"He wouldn't have…" When her friend only raised a brow, Kate questioned herself. "Would he?"

"Only if he doesn't already have a list of names that didn't work for Alexis."

Kate set the pint of ice cream on the coffee table, leaving the TV playing as she went into the study and began searching through the piles of paper on the desk. "I mean, wouldn't he discuss something like this with me? I have opinions to take into consideration, you know?" When her search of the desktop returned no results, she opened his laptop, tapping the space button to wake it up.

Lanie leaned against the bookshelf, her pint of ice cream still in her hands, watching as Kate tried to log onto his account. "Girl, calm down. I'm sure he'll talk to you about a name before he signs the birth certificate. I didn't think you'd go all crazy because I mentioned coming up with a few possibilities."

When his usual passwords didn't open his account, Kate sat in his chair, her head falling into her hands. "I know. Come on," she said, getting back up and heading toward the couch again, "let's finish watching Andy be tortured by Miranda."

Lanie didn't drop the subject. "But seriously, you have to have thought of names for babies. Everyone does it," she said, sitting back down and stabbing her spoon into the ice cream.

"Really? What are your potentials?"

"Doesn't much matter what my potentials are since I'm not the one expecting," Lanie replied in a sing-song voice. "Now, I vote that we ignore the rest of this movie and discuss this far more pressing issue of your child's name."

"We are not discussing this, Lanie." She avoided Lanie's staring by examining her toes.

Suddenly, Lanie's face appeared in front of hers. "Would you name her after your mother?"

"Maybe." Kate pushed Lanie's face away, getting up to put her ice cream back in the freezer. "I'm going to paint my toenails now. You can keep guessing if you want."

She found the bag of nail polish and set it down on the coffee table. She picked out the clear base coat, shaking it quickly before unscrewing the top. Lanie pushed the little bottles around, setting a bottle of creamy pink next to Kate's feet on the table.

"What about a little Rick, Jr.?" she asked, taking out the second bottle of base coat and starting to cover her own toes.

All Kate had to do was scrunch up her face to answer Lanie. "One Richard Castle is enough for this world." She capped the base coat, blowing lightly on her toenails to dry the clear base faster. She reached for the bag, pulling out a bottle of fire-engine red and placing it next to Lanie's heel.

The end credits were rolling on-screen, so Kate switched the DVD to 'The Proposal,' flopping back onto the couch. "Would you throw a literary reference in?"

"You just don't give up, do you?" Kate asked with a smile, shaking the pale pink polish. "Maybe."

"Girl, I'mma smack you." Lanie uncapped the red polish, spreading an even coat over her nails. "I will break you."

Kate wiggled her toes, waiting for the first coat to dry. "Can't break me if I don't have any names in mind, can you?"

Lanie rolled her eyes. "How long have I known you, sweetie? You have names in mind."

As their toes dried, Kate took Lanie's ice cream, eating a spoonful. "Wonder what the boys are doing…" she said out loud, watching Sandra and Ryan bicker on-screen.

"Playing games on their computer is my guess. And get your ice cream back out of the freezer if you want some."

Kate stuck her tongue out, but handed back the container. She slouched down, crossing her arms behind her head, closing her eyes. Even after almost twelve hours of sleep, she was still exhausted.

"What about your father?"

She turned her head, cracking an eye open. "I'll tell him." Lanie gave her a shove on her shoulder. Kate returned the motion. "Again, maybe. You gonna annoy me with all these guesses that will never get an affirmative or negative response?"

"Yes. Yes I am. And if you don't break, I'll go after Castle. He'd be easier in the interrogation room."

"Maybe you'll lose your voice from all this guessing and then I'll have some quiet," Kate considered, reaching forward to test if her polish was dry. "Probably not. You talk a lot. I'm sure your vocal chords have adapted to your level of chatter." When she glanced over, Lanie was glaring. "Kidding!"

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><p>Esposito picked Lanie up outside the apartment building in the unmarked cruiser at six o'clock, waving at Kate who stood in the lobby.<p>

"Hola, chica!"

Lanie leaned over the console to give him a kiss. "Hola right back atcha, chico. You boys have a long day at work?"

"Only because there wasn't a case. I beat Ryan's pants off at checkers," he declared with a smile as he pulled out into traffic. "Girls day go well?"

"I think I gained about thirteen pounds from ice cream and chocolate and cookies, so, yes, it wsa successful."

"Hope you still have room for dinner tonight; we've got reservations at Bar Basque at eight." Traffic was still snarled from rush hour and they sat at a stop sign behind taxis honking their horns at pedestrians crossing without the signal. "What did you two talk about all day?"

Lanie looked at him, her head tilted to the side and her brow furrowed. "Ryan Reynold's ass, ice cream flavors, you boys, the weather, which celebrity is single now. What'd you think we talked about?"

She watched panic jump across his face before he could turn back to face the street as the cars in front of them inched forward. "Nothing."

"Javier Esposito." Her tone told him she wasn't going to let him charm his way out of anything right now.

Focusing on the street, he muttered, "So, baby names didn't come up at all?"

Her mouth fell open, then she hastily shut it again. "You explain yourself right this second, Javier!"

"I may have been looking for a file last night on Beckett's desk. And I may have come across one without a vic name on it. So I might have check to see which case it belonged to. And it possibly turned out to be a blood test the confirmed that Beckett was pregnant…" he trailed off at the end, biting his lower lip as he watched Lanie's face shift from disbelief to anger.

"You cannot mention this to anyone. I mean it." Lanie poked Esposito sharply in his bicep. "My girl doesn't want anyone to know about this. And she can't know that you know, so brush up on your acting skills around her because she'll be able to tell if you're hiding something."

Esposito parked the car along the curb outside their apartment, but she grabbed his hand before he could climb out. "I'm serious. You let it slip that you know, she realizes that I know and then I'm screwed worse than you."

"Cross my heart, chica."

"Good." Lanie let him go, then opened her door. "Let's go eat dinner."

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><p><em>AN: Will Esposito be able to keep his mouth shut? Will Lanie's prodding cause Kate to talk to Castle about names? How will Kate's talk with her father go? Review and stay tuned!_

_Also, keep an eye on my page for other pieces that will be showing up as I edit them. There's at least two that are close to being ready for the public consumption._


	6. Chapter Six

_A/N: I'm going to do something crazy and not put a huge A/N first. The long one will come at the end._

**_Disclaimer: I am a poor, female college student that writes for fun. Andrew Marlowe is a (semi-)wealthy, male screenplay writer that writes for a job. We are not the same._**

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><p>Saturday morning, Kate was more relaxed that she had been in a long time. Her girls day with Lanie had been exactly what she had needed. She strolled into the precinct, coffee in hand and the hint of a smile on her face.<p>

"Hello, Detectives," she shot at Ryan and Esposito as she passed their desks.

Then she stopped short, staring at her own desk. Except it couldn't be hers since hers never had such organized piles of folders or color-coded Post-It notes. Even her bowl of M&Ms had been refilled, something she had been meaning to do for a while. "What happened to my desk?"

Ryan looked up, shrugging. "Castle reorganized yesterday. So domestic… Maybe you could rent him out to the rest of us," he suggested, glancing over his own desk with a scrunched up face. There were crumpled papers littering the top.

Kate sat, readjusting the chair he had lowered, hitting the power switch for the computer with the toe of her shoe. "Don't you have a wife, Ryan? Get Jenny in here some weekend."

The exchange occurred without input from Esposito who was busy looking at baseball scores from the previous night.

Ryan spun around in his chair, kicking his partner's with enough force to cause Esposito to wheel away a few inches. "You gonna get Lanie up here to organize your desk?"

"What?" When both Kate and Ryan starred at him, Esposito shook himself. "Oh, nah. I've got a system."

"Called the 'shove-file-in-drawer-and-hope-it-never-needs-to-be-seen-again' method, isn't it?" Kate tossed out, logging onto the inter-department system. There were no new cases on her impeccably clean desk and none waiting for a lead detective on the docket. Sipping her coffee, she idly wished that something, anything, would come up. No case meant sitting at her desk all day which could lead to sleeping again and she didn't need to be sent home twice in a row by Iron Gates.

As if the morbid angels were listening, her desk phone rang. Cradling the receiver in her shoulder, she took down the address that the dispatcher rattled off to her.

"Boys, we've got one."

Ryan jumped up, pulling on his jacket. "'Bout time."

They were halfway to the elevator when Ryan turned, expecting to see Esposito. "Hey, Esposito! Need an engraved invite?" he mocked.

Kate held the elevator as Esposito ran over, his leather jacket over his arm.

"You and Lanie have a fight or something?" Ryan asked on the ride down to the parking garage.

Kate thought she saw a flicker of guilt cross his face before he pursed his lips and shook his head. "Not lately." For a moment, his brown eyes met Kate's green, then Esposito swung his jacket on, breaking contact.

They took separate cars, meeting at the address in the Upper East Side. The black Medical Examiner's van was parked among the cruisers, Lanie just jumping out of the driver's seat.

"Hey Lanie!" Lanie closed the door, leaning against it as she waited for Kate to walk up. Lanie shifted her bag as they followed Esposito and Ryan into the alley. "You and Esposito fight last night?"

"Only over who got the last bite of a truly divine chocolate cherry cake." They stepped under the yellow tape at the same time, Lanie glancing over at Kate. "Why?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. He was just being a little weird this morning."

Lanie crouched down near the head of the man lying in the alley. "We both know he's not exactly a morning person, honey." She handed Kate a pair of blue gloves, snapping her own on before opening her bag.

Kate pulled the gloves on, reaching into the victim's pocket for his wallet. "We've got Carter Stevens. License says he's from the Upper West Side, 27 years old." She thumbed through the credit cards, found a twenty, a ten, and a few ones in the bill spot. "He's got his money, so it's not a robbery."

"Got a cause of death?" Esposito asked, standing behind Lanie and giving her a little tap with the toe of his shoe.

Lanie turned, glaring up at him. "Well, from the two GSWs to the chest, I would assume he was shot to death, but if you have another theory, please share with the class." Esposito stepped back, holding his hands out in defeat. She smiled up at Kate. "I'd say blood-loss, but I'll have more once I get him back to the shop."

Kate reached across the body to hand the wallet to a uniform. Something happened that hadn't happened to her since her uniform days – her stomach rolled. The wallet slipped from her hand as she stood and ran toward the entrance of the alley. One hand on the brick wall of the building, the other holding back her hair, Kate threw up.

She felt Lanie come up behind her, pulling back a few strands of her hair and rubbing her back. "Oh, sweetie…"

Lanie had obviously yelled at the crime scene techs and the boys before coming over since none of them were staring when Kate took the tissues Lanie had offered and wiped her mouth. "Thanks , Lanie."

"No problem, girl. Now go home. I'll take on Captain Gates and the boys." When Kate opened her mouth to protest, Lanie shook her head. "Nuh-uh, Katherine Beckett. No arguments. Go home."

Kate drove with the windows open, the autumn breeze cool on her face. Eduardo quirked a brow at her when he opened the door.

"You're home early, Detective."

She smiled at him, giving his forearm a gentle squeeze as she walked by to the elevator. "Yeah. Is he home?"

"Hasn't left all day."

The elevator pinged, letting her know it had arrived on the ground floor. "Thanks, Eduardo," she called back, hitting the button for their floor.

"You're welcome, Detective."

Kate stood outside the apartment, listening for sounds from within. The familiar scurrying of feet told her that either Castle and Alexis were fighting with the lightsabers or playing laser tag. She tried the handle and found it locked, so she knocked instead of searching for her keys.

Castle opened the door, the green lightsaber raised defensively. "Kate?"

"Castle," she whispered before burying herself in his chest.

The lightsaber dropped to the ground just as Alexis appeared from around the corner. "Dad? Kate?"

Castle shifted his arms so they wrapped around Kate, supported her as she broke in his arms. "Alexis… I think we might need a moment."

"Sure." Alexis bent to pick up her father's lightsaber. "I'll be in my room, Dad."

Without pausing, he picked Kate up and walked over to the couch, cradling her in his lap as he sat. She had his shirt fisted in her hands so tightly that he had to pry each finger off individually. When he had released all of her fingers, her body deflated, her forehead resting on his shoulder as she cried. He let her. She didn't break down often, but when she did, it was like a thunderstorm and he was forced to ride it out.

"I'm sorry…" The words were mumbled against his neck.

He pressed a kiss to her shoulder through her shirt. "There's nothing to apologize for, Kate."

She pulled back, smoothing down the wrinkles in his shirt. He lifted her eyes to his, his finger gentle under her chin. His thumb brushed away the tracks her tears had made, his eyes fixed on hers. "You okay, though?"

Kate shook her head, "No." He did exactly what he always did – wait for her. He just held her, one of his hands running through her hair. She swallowed, her breath shaky. "It just happened, you know? Right there. I couldn't stop it."

"Kate, what's 'it?'" he asked softly.

She continued as if he hadn't spoken. "It hasn't happened since I was a uniform. God, did it have to happen right there, in front of everyone?"

Castle placed a finger over her lips, quieting her. "Morning sickness?"

"I was fine," she spoke against his finger, her eyes still glistening with tears. "I was fine until I had to lean over the damn body. It just hit me, all of a sudden. Everyone was there, Castle. Lanie, Ryan, Esposito, half the precinct. They're all going to know now!"

"Hey, hey!" Castle framed her face with his hands, his fingers pressing lightly into her scalp. "No one is going to know that you don't want to know. Lanie won't tell anyone else. Everyone knows that crime scenes aren't the most pleasant smelling locations in the city. It's completely understandable that you lose it once in a while."

Kate leaned forward, her forehead hitting his, their noses brushing. "You're right." When he shifted to try and kiss her, Kate pulled back. She answered his look of confusion with, "Castle, I threw up. Let me brush my teeth before you try anything, okay?"

He let her slip out of his arms and walk to the bathroom, following slowly. He heard the water run in the sink, heard her start to scrub the taste out of her mouth. He walked behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Kate, you are so damn beautiful."

She paused, the toothbrush still in her mouth. "And you're pretty damn handsome," she replied around the toothbrush. She spit and rinsed, wiping the toothpaste off her mouth with a towel.

Before she could turn, Castle spun her around, pressing her back into the counter. His lips met hers, gently at first, the pressure growing until she moaned softly.

"I need to go back to work, Castle."

He shook his head against hers. "No, you aren't."

"I don't go back to work, people will suspect something. Remember? I work with trained police officers."

"Who don't know anything, Kate," he muttered, pulling his head back but keeping her pinned to the counter with the rest of his body. "You have tons of personal days racked up. Use a few and just rest. For me."

She had quickly learned that when his eyes took on that distinct puppy-dog look, all hope of standing her ground against him was lost. "Fine," she sighed.

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><p><em>AN: This one was tough - Kate is too damn strong for her own good and she fought every second of this chapter while I was writing it. But I think it came out okay. You think so, too? Tell me through a review! You think this sucked? Tell me through a review! You have no emotions towards this story? Tell me through a review! (Get my drift?)_

_The next chapter is going to be M-rated. Because I want to make is so. This means that you younguns that are reading - you'll want to skip right over Chapter Seven and move onto Chapter Eight (when it's posted). I'm not your mother, but I'd like to preserve innocence as long as possible._


	7. Chapter Seven

_A/N: Okay, children. This chapter is **rated M**. So, move right along to Chapter Eight, which I miraculously managed to write at the same time and have published within minutes of this chapter. You have no excuse now. Scoot._

_Others, this chapter took forever for me to type out because, while I can read M-rated fics, I seem to have trouble writing them, even when they're only a chapter long. Forgive me. I'll stop blathering now and you can judge me in your reviews. (Can you tell I'm nervous about this one?)_

**_Disclaimer: Andrew Marlowe owns Castle. I am not Andrew Marlowe. Therefore, I do not own Castle. (For an English major, the transitive property is a big step for me!)_**

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><p>"<em>Fine," she sighed.<em>

The word wasn't out of her mouth for a second before he was kissing her so soundly that she forgot her own name. Her hands grabbed for his shoulders, his arms, anything to support herself as he twisted her hair in his hands. With a breathy laugh, Kate broke away.

"Hey!" he said, reaching out for her wrist as she ran from the bathroom.

She spun in a circle just outside the doorway. "Come and get me, Castle!" Then she was gone in a swirl of brown curls. He waited, listening to where her footsteps took her. The bedroom.

Castle tiptoed into the bedroom, scanning the room for motion. He heard the front door click shut and turned to see who had left. On the counter was a note from Alexis saying that she was going out for coffee with her study group, that she would be back for dinner.

"Everything okay?"

Kate was standing in the doorway of the study, concern obvious on her face.

He held up the note. "Alexis is going to get coffee for the afternoon with her friends. She says we should try to not break anything."

Concern was replaced by horror. "She knows about that? I thought we cleaned up the splinters so well…"

Castle dropped the note back onto the counter, shrugging. "Apparently not. She's strangely perceptive, you know. But you know what this means, right?" Kate tilted her head to the side.

Then screeched when he vaulted over the couch, the furniture rocking back on two legs as he clambered over it. Kate stood in disbelief as she watched him pull his foot out from between cushions, knocking over the pile of books on the coffee table. Once he was free, though, she turned and ran.

He caught her as she rounded his desk in the study. "You never answered me," he said, slightly out of breath, his fingers twining with hers as he wrapped his arm around her, effectively pulling her closer to him and trapping her between his chest and the desk.

"What was the question again," Kate asked, placing a feather of a kiss on his cheek.

"What do we get to do now that Alexis isn't here?" She didn't answer. He leaned down and bit her lower lip, drawing out a squeak. "That." He kissed the spot his teeth had nipped. "No need to keep quiet."

"Oh, Richard Castle, you are going to pay for that one." She twisted, using her police training to get out of the lock, but he anticipated. Instead of finding herself free, she simply found herself turned around, her palms down on his desk and his arms around her waist.

One hand pushed her hair off her neck, clearing the way for his lips to press kisses to the skin exposed there. Kate let her head fall back onto his shoulder, her lower lip caught between her teeth, holding back the moan that sat in her throat.

He pressed his lips to the spot where her throat met her chest. "Don't hold back, Kate. Please, I want to hear you."

"God, Castle!" she released on a breath. Her hands slipped on the desk, sending his bowl of clothespins scattering over the ground. Castle caught her, pulling her back against him as his fingers busied themselves with unbuttoning her shirt. Once the top few were undone, he shoved the fabric off her shoulders, trapping her arms at her side. His mouth followed the fabric, moving from her neck to the bare skin at her collarbone, trailing over to her shoulder.

Her hands scrambled for something to hold onto and found his thighs. Her fingers dug into the muscles there, something to anchor her. "Castle, get this shirt off me."

He spun her around, his hips pushing her against the desk before he picked her up, placing her onto the polished wooden surface. With a gentle kiss, he muttered, "I don't think so."

"I will rip it off if you don't unbutton it." She had tried to steady her voice, but it didn't work.

"Trust me." Castle pulled his own shirt from the waistband of his pants, tossing it onto one of the leather chairs in the study.

"I do, but I want to-" Her protest was cut off when he dove his hands into her hair, pulling her mouth to his. "Bedroom."

His mouth left hers, kissing down her jaw to her neck, hovering right at the spot where her bare skin met the fabric of her bra. "In good time, Kate. Just shush now." She couldn't see it, but she could tell his face was screwed up a second later. "Except don't shush. You know what, shush selectively. Like when you aren't screaming my name. That would be good. Any other time, shush."

Kate laughed, the sound filling the apartment. It vibrated against his lips as his teeth grazed over the top of her breast, catching her bra and pulling it down the slightest bit. He was going too slowly, she decided and started to try and wiggle her way out of the sleeves of the shirt. A button popped, flying across the room and hitting a bookshelf. But she had one arm free, the right one still trapped against her side.

"You had better make that worth it. I love this shirt."

While he traced the edge of her bra, Kate unbuttoned the rest of the shirt, pulling it off and throwing it to join Castle's on the chair. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her center pressed to his through the fabric of their pants as she bent her head to kiss his shoulder. She bit the soft skin, kissing it to sooth the sting.

He picked her up, walking into the bedroom. He tossed her onto the bed, sending throw pillows into the air. Kate lay on the bed, laughing. She hadn't been able to laugh with Will or Tom or Josh. It had been serious the entire time. But with Castle, she couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't laugh at me, Katherine Beckett!" he said, crawling onto the bed beside her.

"I wasn't laughing at you!" she protested as he pressed her into the bed with his weight. "I was laughing at our relationship."

"Oh, because that's so much better," he mumbled against her breast as his hands worked on undoing the button on her pants. He wiggled the dark grey pants down her legs, taking her underwear with the pants. As he threw the tangled clothing over his shoulder, Kate scooted up on the bed, resting her head on the pillows. "Running away?"

She reached down, hooking her pinky with his. "You couldn't get rid of me if you tried." She could feel his smile as he kissed his way up her leg. Kate squealed when he tickled the back of her knee, watching as he dodged her reflexive twitch. His lips pressed on the muscles of her thighs, toned from years of combat training and running to burn off steam. She gasped when he reached the little crease where her leg met her abdomen, but he scooted right over the area and moved onto her navel.

"Hey, baby," he whispered against her skin, kissing her stomach before continuing his path upward. When he lifted Kate up to pull at her bra clasp, Kate swatted his hands out of the way. "What?"

She kissed him on the lips as she tossed the bra across the room. "You ripped the last one into pieces when you got frustrated with it. This is more economical."

"Economical schmeconomical," he said, pushing her down again, his hands on her waist.

Kate's head sank into the pillows when he let his breath feather over one of her breasts. "Castle…" The soft whisper of his name turned into a louder cry when he let his tongue dart out and touch the tip of her. His hands anchored her to the bed as she arched forward, her hands grasping the back of his head and pulling him closer. "Castle, you're wearing too many clothes," she managed to breathe out.

He glanced down, then back up. "You are so right. Just stay there for a second, okay?" He rolled off her, pulling at the button on his jeans. Kate sat up, using her elbows as support, watching. "Enjoying the view, Katherine?"

The use of her full name had the look of admiration turning to a glare. "Of course, Richard." While he flung his pants and boxers over the door to the master bathroom, Kate leaned forward so her mouth was close to her stomach. "We are not naming you Richard, little one. It would inflate your father's ego beyond the astronomical levels it is at already."

The mattress dipped when he knelt on it, his head next to hers. "And we aren't naming you Katherine because we only need one bossy-pants in this house and that position is filled."

Kate pulled his face over to hers, kissing him. "Shut up."

"See what I mean?" he groaned against Kate's lips. "Bossy-pants."

"Castle, you don't get inside me now, you won't have to worry about another baby because there will be no chance of one."

He laughed as he settled over her. "Threats, now?" He placed his mouth over hers as he positioned himself at her entrance.

When he didn't move, Kate lifted her hips and he slipped in. His mouth caught her little gasp as he pushed the rest of the way in. Her eyes fluttered closed, her breath exhaling as they fit together as perfectly as they always had.

"Well that shut you up, didn't it?" he spoke softly into her ear as he started moving in her.

Kate was too busy concentrating on breathing to give the snappy retort she had floating around in her mind somewhere. The motions were familiar to them through years of practice – he'd move forward, she'd rise up to meet him. He'd whisper about how beautiful she was, how amazing she felt. She'd use one hand to hold onto the bed, the other running up and down his back, pulling on his hair, squeezing his shoulder.

Tonight was different. He grabbed both of her wrists, holding them next to her head, surrounded by the plush pillows. She arched up, moaning when her breasts brushed his chest. "Castle…"

"No touching for you tonight. Trust me," he repeated for the second time that night.

"I trust you. I just want to-" He cut her off with a kiss. Defiantly, Kate wrapped her legs around his hips, urging him further. "Can't I tell you what I want, Castle?"

"Nope. It's all about me tonight."

She pulled her head back into the pillows, quirking a brow at him. "And just who is carrying your unborn child here, Writer Boy?"

They didn't speak for the next few minutes, moving back into their usual dance. The only sounds were his groans, her whimpers. When he looked up from where his head was nestled in her hair, he saw her eyes closed, her mouth opened slightly, her breath shallowly going past her lips. From the measures of those breaths, she was close to breaking – it was her tell. To be sure, he pushed deeper and she let out a quiet moan of his name.

He sped up, drawing a choked gasp from her at the sudden change of pace. As he felt her tense up beneath him, he released one of her hands, snaking it down her body until he reached the place where they were joined. All he had to do was touch her gently in that one spot and she shattered.

"Oh my god, Castle!" she let out on a shuttering breath, her free hand turning over to grab the pillow. Kate bit down on her lip as she heard him groan just her first name.

He collapsed onto her, his weight comfortable. He buried his nose into her hair, she pressed a kiss to his neck. "So much for being loud without Alexis here," she mumbled.

Castle didn't move as he spoke. "We could always try Round Two…"

Kate shoved him off her, settling into the curve of his arms. "Sleepy now." She turned her head, their lips meeting softly, sweetly. "Love you, Castle."

"I love you, too, Kate."

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her back against his chest. In the dark, she whispered, "But we still aren't naming our child Richard."

His laugh against her back was the last thing she heard before drifting off to sleep.

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><p><em>AN: Go ahead - judge away. Put it in a review. I promise not to hate you for it. This chapter was difficult because, as I stated beforehand, I can read M-fics, but I can't seem to write them. At least, not as well as I've seen others write them. Also, Kate and Castle wouldn't cooperate at points, but I think it came out okay. Think I'm being too harsh on myself? Let me know. Think it sucked? Let me know._


	8. Chapter Eight

_A/N: Hello kiddies that skipped Chapter Eight in order to preserve your innocence! Welcome to the next chapter! Promise you didn't miss anything plot-wise. Promise. I figured this story needed a bit more Esplanie in it since I do adore them, so here they are! Also, I added something that I feel the entire fandom wants to see. You'll have to read to figure out what that is exactly._

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Castle. Not now, not ever. But a girl can dream, right?_**

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><p>Esposito had woken up with the sun even though it was Sunday and therefore a day off. It was habit to wake up early, conditioned over years of early-morning calls from Dispatch. After repeated attempts to go back to sleep after the first rays of sun peeked through the shades, he had simply rolled out of bed.<p>

Lanie was still asleep, making little snorting noises every so often. She hadn't moved in officially, but she spent almost every night at his one-bedroom apartment in the Bowery. And she wouldn't be awake for another hour at least, if tradition held true. Which was perfect since he wanted to surprise her.

So when she appeared in the doorway between the bedroom and living room right on time, he had a kettle for tea on the stove and her mug on the table.

"Hola, chica."

Lanie looked over to the kitchen. He was balancing two plates and the pot of coffee on the short walk to the table. As he slid the plates onto the table, Lanie smiled when he gave a low whistle at her choice of clothing – the short plum robe he had bought her for her birthday.

"Well isn't this domestic?" she mused, walking over to place a kiss on his mouth. "Wonder what I did to deserve such treatment?"

"Last night was just fine, Miss Parish."

He turned to get the tea kettle right before it screamed. When he crossed back over, Lanie had her arms folded over her chest, a brow raised.

"What?"

"Don't 'what?' me, Javier. Would you like to explain your actions yesterday?"

"Yesterday?" he muttered, obviously thinking back on the events of the previous day. They had woken up early, taking a shower together before stopping at a café for breakfast. He had dropped her off at the morgue, finished up a case from the day before. Beckett had gotten in, then they had gotten a case that he needed to wrap up today. Everything seemed completely normal. Except he had been distracted in the precinct. That stupid folder, that stupid secret, was making it hard to open his mouth around his boss, afraid the wrong thing would slip out and blow his cover and make her tear his head off with her bare hands.

"How do you know about that, Lanie?" he asked, pouring out a cup of coffee and sitting down, trying to act completely normal.

Lanie pulled the mug from his hands, setting it out of his reach on the table. "Beckett said yesterday you were acting strange in the precinct. Wondered if we had fought. You said you'd keep her secret under wraps, that you'd act 'cool.' Obviously you aren't as great an actor as you thought you were."

He reached for the mug and she nudged it further away. He pouted. "You're going to take away my caffeine because I can't hide the fact that my boss is pregnant and no one knows but you, me, and Castle?"

"Yes. Yes, I am." She crossed her arms. "You need to pull yourself together, Javier. If my girl finds out that you know, she'll kill you. If she finds out that I know you know, she'll kill me and kill you again."

Esposito rolled his eyes, standing up and backing Lanie up against the table. "Fine, chica." When he kissed her, he felt her lips scrunch up beneath his. "What?"

Snatching up her mug of tea, Lanie wiggled out from between him and the table. "You taste like coffee."

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><p>"Dad!" Alexis shouted, tugging the vest out of his hands. "You promised!"<p>

He reached out, grabbing for the vest again. "Just this one last time!"

"No!" Defiantly, the girl ducked under her father's arm, pulling the vest over her head and strapping it on. "It's September now which means we switch colors. You were green last month, I get green this month."

"Seriously? But you rigged the blue one so it always loses."

Kate snuck up behind him, poking him with her own laser tag gun. "Or maybe the person wearing it just stinks at laser tag."

He threw his hands up in the air. "Both of my girls are against me? What has this world come to?" But he still strapped on the blue laser tag vest, hitting the power button on the bottom.

"Everyone ready?" she called out. Alexis turned the lights off in the apartment, the only illumination coming from the blue, green, and yellow flashing lights on their vests which stopped after a few seconds. With the lights gone, everyone plunged into silence. In bare feet, they all scattered in the apartment.

Alexis and Castle had been playing this game since Alexis was little, a fact that they had both planned on using against Kate the first time Castle had suggested she join in the battle. They hadn't remembered her years of police training. Lately, the trio had been on a level playing field. Castle hoped that Kate's hormonal pregnancy mood swings would throw her off enough for him to finally tag her out.

Kate played offensively. She went to the kitchen in a crouch, the gun held close to her chest as she briefly ducked behind the counter. She listened for motion, heard the rustle of fabric in the living room. Suddenly, Alexis rolled around the corner of the kitchen island. Kate swiveled, pulled the trigger once.

Alexis's vest flashed and made a generic 'power down' sound as the girl groaned. "Damn…" She stood up from her crouch, holding her hands in the air. "I'll be in my room. Come get me when you start the next round."

The same adrenaline rush that she felt during a real shoot-out started coursing through her in that moment. It was just her and Castle. She took a deep breath, focusing that energy on listening for any sound of her husband moving around the apartment. It was silent, so she took her chance. Close to the ground, she moved from behind the counter, flattening herself against the stairwell as she scanned the living room.

A head of brown hair popped up and Kate saw the flash of blue before she spun out of the way. Instantly, she returned fire, aiming for the center of his chest as he ran from behind the couch to the wall, putting him out of her line of fire.

"Castle, just give up already!" she called out, taking a careful step forward. If she moved slowly, she could round the corner of the staircase and have him tagged in an instant. The gun held at her side, she peeked over the stairs. In the darkness, she couldn't see him against the wall.

She darted out from behind the staircase, firing off in the general direction of where she had heard his footsteps. The yellow light from her gun hit the wall, not him. But she saw him duck out of the way to the left of where she had aimed. As he ran around the couch, she fired again, anticipating his motions as she also moved, knowing that he would be shooting at her at the same time.

Kate pressed her back against the end of the couch, calming her breathing. She knew he was near the study and could tag her from there. But thanks to the dark jeans and black t-shirt she had chosen for laser tag plus the lack of lights in the apartment, she was blending into the surroundings. Silence reigned.

She stood up, taking a step toward the study.

He tackled her onto the couch, knocking the breath out of her. Her laser gun fell out of her hand onto the ground next to her. "Gotcha."

"Jesus, Castle…" she huffed. "Couldn't just shoot me, could you?"

"Where's the fun in that?" Even though they had the plastic laser tag vests between them, they could feel the other's heart beat, rushed from adrenaline and simple proximity to each other. "So I win this round."

One of her hands snuck up his side, pulling the deep blue t-shirt up before it hit the vest. When he leaned down to kiss her, Kate swung her gun up, shooting him on his side. His vest flashed, then went black, showing he was tagged out.

"Seriously? Using your woman witchy powers to win the game?" He rolled off her, pulling off the vest and walking toward the study. "See if you get any tonight," he muttered back at her before yelling, "Alexis! We're done!"

Kate got up, wrapping her arms around him from behind, dropping her own vest onto the ground. She placed a kiss on his neck. "All's fair in love and war and all that."

He turned in her arms, brushing a strand of hair that had escaped from her ponytail. "Couldn't you let me win once? Just once in our marriage could you let me win laser tag?"

"You have me. Why would you need to win?" she asked with a flirty smile.

Castle backed her up against the bookshelf that provided the division between the living room and the study. "I'm a man, Kate. I always feel the need to win. It's genetic." He lifted her chin up with the crook of his pointer finger, kissing her sweetly, nothing like the fierce battle that had just been waged in the living room.

"Really?" They both turned when Alexis squealed from the landing of the stairs. "You two, it's been three years! Haven't you gotten it out of your system?"

Kate did what she always did when they were caught by Alexis – try to squirm out of Castle's hold. And he did the same thing he always did – pull her closer and kiss her again. "I'll never have her out of my system."

Alexis picked up Kate's discarded vest along with her father's and went to hang the three in the study. "I swear, you two are like teenagers in love. Worse than Ashley and I…" The girl continued to mutter to herself as she walked back to the kitchen, pulling out a pot to make spaghetti in, the traditional post-laser tag dinner.

Castle placed his mouth next to Kate's ear. "We need to tell her, you know. And your father."

Kate nodded, pulling her head back to look into his eyes. "Tomorrow? I can call Dad tonight and ask him if he's free for dinner. And you'll need to call Martha to let her know."

"She'll never let me live this one down." When Kate tilted her head, he smiled. "That she wasn't in the city to hear about her second grandchild. It'll kill her."

"Why?"

He turned a bit, nodding his head toward Alexis. "She wasn't in town to hear about Alexis either. I had to call her from Los Angeles where Meredith and I were staying to let her know."

Castle took a step toward the kitchen, but Kate caught his hand. "Hey." He turned back. "We're not telling the boys about this yet, okay?"

"Deal. Let's go help make dinner. It's only fair, since we did beat her."

She put an arm around his waist, he mirrored the movement, and they went over to find sauce to start heating up.

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><p><em>AN: So, what did we think of Lanie reading Esposito the riot act in her bathrobe over breakfast? Or laser tag night with the Castles? Reviews are greatly welcome - you all seriously make my day/night when I get that little e-mail letting me know I have a new one. I fangirl all over the place when I get an e-mail. Seriously. So just drop a few words in the review box and make my day - it's that simple._


	9. Chapter Nine

_A/N: I would apologize for the delay in getting this chapter out, but vehemently feel that as a fanfiction author, I'm not beholden to deadlines (as I will be once I become a legit writer). But part of my still feels a little bad about taking so long to publish this. Now there's a confusing author's note right there. So, moving on..._

**_Disclaimer: I'm in the path of Hurricane Irene. Andrew Marlowe isn't._**

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><p>The precinct has been quiet. Esposito and Ryan had wrapped up the shooting from the previous day.<p>

"Wasn't your type anyway, Beckett," Ryan had supplied when she asked about the case. "Basic Missus shoots Mister over Mistress."

With Captain Gates out for the day, the bullpen almost felt normal again. There was gentle banter tossed over desks, candy thrown to other officers, and laughter. Kate found a cold case to look at for the day, whittling time down until she could clock out.

She glanced over at the locked-up captain's office and sighed. No matter how Gates tried, that room would forever be Montgomery's office. A hand drifted to her stomach as she thought about what her friend and mentor would have to say about her and Castle. Probably something along the lines of 'About damn time!'.

"Big plans tonight?" Esposito asked as she placed a Post-It note on the cold case folder to remind herself where she left off.

Kate shrugged as she swung her coat on. "Dad's coming over for dinner."

"Hmm… Must be a special occasion for Papa Beckett to be making the trip into the city."

"Not particularly. Just family dinner." She paused, watching Esposito's face. "Why're you so interested?" she asked, her eyes squinted at the other detective.

"I'm not! Just making small talk, you know? End of shift, long day."

Kate could hear the panic in Esposito's voice. "Uh-huh. Enjoy your day off tomorrow, guys!" Ryan and Esposito waved back at her from their desks.

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><p>The loft smelt like stir-fry when she opened the door.<p>

"Kate? That you?" Castle's head popped around the staircase, a wooden spoon held in one hand.

Her purse and jacket hit the ground as Kate ran to the bathroom. The door slammed in his face, the spoon still clenched in his fist. "Kate!"

"Go away, Castle!" she called out between her retches. Ignoring her request, he opened the door, dropping the spoon just outside the bathroom. She was sitting against the wall, her heels tossed under the sink, her hand covering her nose. "What part of 'go away' didn't you understand?"

He knelt next to her, brushing her hair back from her damp forehead. "The 'away' part, actually. I'm with you until the end, Kate." Castle kissed her cheek. "Are you still up for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah… Yeah, I'm okay." Her smile was smaller than usual as she touched her fingertips to his jaw. "But could we not have stir-fry?"

"Done. I'll find something else to whip up. You shower." Castle stood up first, holding a hand down to pull her to her feet.

Fifteen minutes later, Castle had chicken noodle soup from scratch on the stove and a feast of grilled cheese sandwiches on the griddle. Kate was wearing jeans and a white shirt with polka dot burnouts, still drying her hair with a hand towel.

"Comfort food?" she said with a smile.

Castle flipped over a sandwich, pressed it down into the griddle. "Easy and everyone likes it. Feel better?"

"Much." Taking the ladle from the plate it was resting on, Kate stirred the soup before tasting it. She added some salt. "Castle, about before…"

"Nothing to explain. Kate, I've dealt with pregnancy hormones before. It's okay." He turned his head over his shoulder to smile at her. "And if you feel really guilty, you can make it up to me with mind-blowing sex later."

Kate aimed a kick for his shin just as Alexis came down the stairs, announcing herself with a sing-song call of "What did I say about you two being teenagers?"

Castle stuck his tongue out at his daughter who had gone to open the door, admitting the tall, slender man outside.

"Good evening, Alexis," Jim Beckett said, smiling at the grandchild he had gained through Kate's marriage.

"Hey, Jim! Oh good, you brought wine," Alexis exclaimed, taking the bottle of chardonnay from the man while simultaneously looping her arm through his to sit him at the table. "Dad, Jim brought us wine."

Castle smiled at his father-in-law. "You didn't have to. We have more than enough."

Kate caught the wink her father shot in her direction as he answered, "But I did. Now Alexis, tell me about this horrid calculus professor of yours."

As the two settled into conversation, Kate scooted out of the kitchen. She and Castle may work well in the precinct or in the bedroom or in their marriage, but the kitchen was their one exception. They had tried a few times to get that dance down; the attempts had ended in broken glasses, silverware thrown at each other, and a series of sleepless nights on the couch for Castle. Kate liked to think of the kitchen as Castle's bullpen – a comparison she understood completely.

So instead of helping him gather silverware and bowls for everyone, Kate sat next to her father and listened to Alexis complain about the amount of work this professor handed the class. After five minutes, Alexis took drink orders.

Jim turned in his chair, covering his daughter's hand with his own. "I'm glad I could come tonight, Katie."

"Me too, Dad."

His green eyes met hers, probing. "Something's different with you." He didn't ask it, just stated.

She opened her mouth to respond, but Castle interrupted by placing the pot of soup on the table. "Dinner… is served."

They passed the platter of halved sandwiches followed by the bowls of soup that Kate was dishing out. Talk drifted to the Yankees and their losing streak against the Red Sox during the last two games. Castle and Alexis were never as interested in baseball as the Beckett family seemed to be, so the ranting conversation about home runs and batting averages occurred between Kate and Jim mostly.

Jim laughed as he sopped up the last of the soup broth with a piece of crusty bread. "I'm glad to see that you all haven't lost your grasp of childhood," he said, holding up the bread before taking a bite. "Kids love soup and grilled cheese. I still remember making it for you when you were a kid, Katie."

Kate's eyes flicked to Castle's, he nodded. "Actually, I hope you still remember how to make those," Kate said quietly, keeping her eyes locked with her father's. She watched as realization dawned on him.

"Wait. Dad?" Alexis started, looking between her father and step-mother.

Castle grinned. "The pitter-patter of little feet will soon be heard here again."

Movement erupted. Jim had Castle in a hug, one of those manly ones with shoulder-bumping and back-clapping. Alexis practically knocked Kate off the chair with a hug that had the young woman's head nestled in Kate's shoulder.

Kate smiled at Castle. She hadn't been sure how Alexis would take the news. Over twenty years of being the only child in Castle's life, she was bound to be a little jealous of another Castle baby nudging its way into her father's heart.

"Congratulations, Katie," Jim whispered into his daughter's ear when they traded hug-partners.

"Thanks, Dad."

With his daughter's hand in his, Jim turned to Castle and Alexis. "Listen, can you spare Kate for a few minutes? Just going to take a walk around the block."

The sun was still peeking through the buildings, giving SoHo a romantic blush as they turned the corner outside the building. Jim reached out, took Kate's hand, his thumb smoothing over the back of it.

"So, a baby?"

"Looks that way," Kate replied with a smile. She looked up at her father, trying to pinpoint his emotions. Normally, it was something she could do right away, but she figured all of the parenting must make mothers and fathers adept at hiding their true emotions. To the point, Kate discovered, that he could stump someone trained to discover hidden emotions in people.

Jim sat on a semi-clean bench, tugging his daughter down next to him. A few cabs were parked nearby, the drivers taking a dinner break and talking loudly in Spanish. "I can't help but wish your mother was here."

"Dad…"

He turned from watching the cabbies, taking both of her hands in his. "Katie, she'd be so happy. With everything. Plus, you're doing it in the right order," he added with a wink. "I guess this means I should find that box…"

"What box?" Kate had been the one to go through her mother's things after her death. Jim had been too deep in the bottle to think straight and while the grief had caused Kate some issues, she knew that sorting through Johanna's things would help her find the closure that her therapist was always talking about. There had been case files from work in her desk, shopping lists for that weekend's trip to the grocery store, a bucket list with things that she would never be able to cross of, but not a box that would relate to a future grandchild.

Jim tweaked Kate's nose like he had when she was a kid. "You'll just have to wait and see." He sighed, sitting back against the bench. "There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her. It's still hard to fall asleep at night, knowing she isn't next to me. It's hard to wake up in the morning, knowing she won't be joining me for coffee before she runs off to work. I can't help but think of all those people that she could be helping, fighting for and can't now.

"But you are, Katie. Maybe not in the same way she was, but you're exactly like her."

Kate rested her head against her father's shoulder, his arm wrapping around her and squeezing her. "I wish she was here, too, Dad."

He kissed the top of her head. "I just hope, for Castle's sake, you don't turn out like she acted when she was pregnant with you." Kate drew back, narrowing her eyes at him. "She was a monster. I still remember going out at one in the morning for a burger for her because she needed it. Or sleeping on the couch since she claimed the bed was too crowded because of you. I hope those hormones aren't genetic for my son-in-law's sanity."

"I can't see Mom being like that at all," Kate mumbled, standing up.

Jim followed her lead back toward the apartment. "She calmed down. You helped with that. And it won't be the same for you." She shot him a look of confusion. "You have Castle. He's been through the newborn thing before. He knows the ropes, so to speak. Your mother and I? Newbies, the both of us. We were a wreck. You'll be better at it."

"Thanks, Dad."

Castle met them in the lobby to say goodnight to Jim. As they shook hands, Jim leaned over to mutter, "Keep the best burger place on speed-dial and you'll be fine, son." Castle glanced at Kate who just smiled, unaware of the advice her father had just passed on. "She can explain later."

Jim placed a soft kiss on Kate's forehead, then pulled her into a hug. "I love you, Katie. Be kind to him."

"Love you, too."

After Jim hailed a cab outside the apartment, Castle wrapped his arm around Kate's waist as they walked toward the elevator. "Why should I keep Remy's on speed-dial exactly?"

Kate laughed as she pressed the 'up' button. "I'll tell you when it matters."

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><p><em>AN: So, a few more questions for you to try and puzzle out, Detectives! Will Kate confront Esposito over his strange behavior? What's in Jim's mystery box? Will there be late-night Remy's runs for Castle in the future?_

_Stay tuned and review - it'll make riding out this hurricane much easier and happier for me!_


	10. Chapter Ten

_A/N: Get ready for a long author's note (I apologize in advance). First off, this is a monumental chapter. Not just because of the information, but because this is Chapter Ten. TEN! All My Secrets, formerly Late, was going to just be a one-shot, maybe two chapters at the most. But we're up to ten chapters and it is because of you, my dear readers. I am so happy to get your reviews, to see how many people have me on favorites or alerts. It actually hurts my chest a little because of all the love I have for you. So, from my heart, thank you._

_This one was a dream to write. A pure dream. Most of it came out as soon as I posted the last chapter and wouldn't let me go until about 3am when I passed out only due to exhaustion. Please enjoy this one - it's probably one of my favorites so far._

_Also, I survived Hurricane Irene just fine. It was downgraded to a tropical storm before it hit my area, so we only got rain and wind. No real flooding in my area, but I know my town common was pretty bad. Thank you all for the well wishes!_

**_Disclaimer: I am most definitely not Andrew Marlowe. Not even close. Also, the mentions of J.D. Robb/Nora Robert's characters from the "In Death" series are hers, not mine. I'm simply a fan of both of them._**

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><p>They had gotten back from the precinct, both of them exhausted. Kate went to the bedroom, stripping clothes off in a trail until she got to the bathroom. She winced at her reflection, revealing that she did indeed look like crap. She turned the shower on, swiped a brush through her tangled hair, and then let the jets of the shower work out the knots in her back.<p>

Castle considered joining her in the shower, but her expression when they had unlocked the apartment door told him she needed time alone to unwind. Plus he had a chapter of his new book due to Gina by next week that could use some editing.

He slipped his shoes off under his desk, opening the laptop and hitting the power button, waiting for it to warm up. She had every right to be upset. The case against the prime suspect had fallen apart with the word of a single witness. Captain Gates hadn't been pleased, to say the least, and Castle's heart broke a little when Kate walked out of the other woman's office, her shoulders slumped as she went for coffee. Even after three years of being in the Twelfth, Kate and Captain Gates were still clashing over cases. Neither backed down and it always ended with Kate pissed off and tired while Gates simply seemed to gain strength.

As he opened the browser to find the fitting location for the next murder, he saw the tab he had left open. _Later_, he decided, opening GoogleMaps to scan New York City for a crime scene.

Forty minutes later, he found Kate asleep on the couch. Curled under a moss-green throw blanket that had been pulled up to her neck, leaving her bare feet poking out from the bottom, her hair falling out of the bun she had tied it up in after the shower. The sound of his steady typing had lulled her into sleep, something she needed more than anything right now.

Castle smiled at the sight of her pale pink toenails before covering them with another blanket. She shifted, one eye opening to gaze at him. "What?" she asked sleepily.

"Nothing. Just covering your toesies up." He sat on the couch at her knees, running his hand up her leg. "Do you want dinner?"

She rolled onto her back, pushing back the escaped strands of hair. "Is Alexis going to be back tonight?"

"Nope. Paige is having a party, so she's crashing there. Just you and me." When she looked at him blankly, fatigue still clear on her face, he gave her hip a squeeze. "I think I have some Easy-Mac. Be back in four minutes."

Kate's eyes drifted close, then opened again. "Easy-Mac? Really, Castle?"

"Blame my inner child," he called from the kitchen as he found the two little tubs and filled them with water.

"'Inner child'?"

He rolled his eyes as he stuck the mac-and-cheese in the microwave. "Fine. Outer child as well." He leaned back against the counter. "You okay?"

Kate pushed herself up to a sitting position. "If I have to hear that every afternoon for the next seven months, you won't live to see your child born."

"I don't mean about the baby. I meant about today. At work." Castle watched her face tighten, then it relaxed. "I mean, I get that she's the captain and she isn't Montgomery-" he paused when she began to blink rapidly, then barreled on, "but do you really have to take that from her?"

The microwave pinged and he took the bowls out, digging out forks from the silverware drawer and walking back to the couch. He set the food on the coffee table, going back to get glasses of water for them.

"Castle, this is why you'd never hack it as a real detective. I push too hard against her and I find myself without a job. I just need to put up with her until she moves along to the more lucrative position and we get a new boss."

"I don't like her," he muttered, reclaiming his seat at her feet.

Kate leaned forward, giving him a peck on the cheek. "You don't have to. And I don't either, but it's something we need to put up with for a little while longer." She picked up her bowl and fork, stabbing a few of the noodles with a little more force than necessary. "Besides, I've heard rumblings through the grapevine that IA is actually looking to transfer her up and out soon."

"Good." He pushed his macaroni around with the fork, watching it. Suddenly he looked up. "Kate, I can't stand to watch you walk out of her office like that!"

"Hey," she said, taking his hand with the fork and stilling it. "I can handle it. I had worse in the Academy. Gates is nothing."

"But…"

"No 'buts.' Now eat your dinner before I decide that the two of us want more than this," she said, holding up the little bowl.

They ate in silence for a minute. Then he stopped, which caused her to stop as well. "What?" she finally asked after he had stared at her for a few seconds.

"We need a better name for the baby. We can't keep referring to it as part of you or whatever." Castle took another bite of macaroni, tilting his head at her.

Kate let her fork rest on the edge of the bowl. "Castle, we don't even know what the baby's gender is. How can we come up with a name for it?"

His eyes shifted, indicating to her that he hadn't really thought out this scenario. "Unisex names? Or we could come up with a list of possibilities. Keep expanding on it or deleting names as we go."

"It's not a bad idea." Kate pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs. "You go first, since you started this."

"Well, do which list do we want to start first?" he asked, getting up to grab paper and a pen from his desk. When she shrugged, he returned the gesture. "Girls names first, then. Ladies before gentlemen and all that."

She just smiled at him over her bowl of macaroni and cheese. "Shoot."

"There's the obvious." Kate nodded, a little sadly. "Johanna is safely on the list." He wrote the name of the mother-in-law he had never had the chance to meet in neat capital letters. With his pen hovering over the paper, he turned his eyes to her. "Nicole?"

Kate gave a short laugh. "And have her discovering those sex scenes in the Nikki Heat books between the characters that seem eerily similar to her parents? No."

"Probably a good idea. I like Charlotte. Or Nora!" he said, his eyes lighting up as he scribbled the names onto the paper.

She watched as he wrote, then grabbed the pen. "Those are author's names! Charlotte Brontë and Nora Roberts. Really?"

"What? They're good names." He snatched the pen back, finished off the "RA" that she had interrupted. "Do you have suggestions?"

Kate fell back against the armrest, sighing. "No. I hadn't really thought of this in advance." She shifted her legs so they lay across his lap. "James."

"For your father?" She smiled with a small nod. "I like it."

"Put Royce down, too."

He hesitated. "You sure, Kate?"

She took the pen and paper from him, writing her training officer's name in the same letters used on the murder board. "We made our peace. He's actually the reason I went on that first date with you." Kate placed her mac-and-cheese on the coffee table, pulling her knees back against her chest. "You remember our trip to Los Angeles? Well, that letter he had addressed to me explained why Royce did what he did."

"But what does that have to do with our date?" he asked, dinner forgotten as he rested his hand on her knee.

"I had to put my heart out there. Leave it outside the walls I had built up around it to protect it from being broken again. He said that he didn't want me looking back on my life and wondering what would have happened if I hadn't taken the risk." Kate laughed, covering his hand with hers. "So, you have Royce to thank for our little coffee date."

"Then I like Royce. The man and the name." He slid his hand from under hers, rubbing her wedding band with his thumb.

With her right hand, Kate mirrored the movement, smiling at the simple silver band. "Can we finish our highly sophisticated dinner now?"

He handed her the bowl of mac-and-cheese, tapping his against the rim of hers. "Cheers." After she watched him take a bite of the macaroni, she saw his eyes rise up to meet hers. "What?"

"Could we look beyond famous novelists for names?"

"You don't like Nora Roberts?" he exclaimed, the fork nearly falling out of his hand. "What woman alive doesn't like Nora Roberts? Plus she has that other series with the hot homicide lieutenant! You have to like that one."

She leaned forward, kissing him. "I have to keep a few secrets, don't I?" she whispered, giving him a final peck on the lips. "Though I don't know how I feel about you having feelings for a fictional character."

"Aww, come on, Kate! Lieutenant Dallas is just the fictional version of you." Kate raised a brow as she finished off her dinner. "Plus she also roped herself a rich, handsome husband." She had gotten up, walking to the kitchen to throw away the plastic bowl, but he continued to yell from the couch. "And she has two members of her team that are dating, like Lanie and Esposito!"

"That's not the same!" She realized what had escaped her mouth a second too late as she watched him grin. "Oh, God, this is just like that moment with Temptation Lane…"

He was by her side in an instant, pulling her against his chest. She let her hands rest on his shoulders, looking into his eyes. "You know," he muttered, brushing his nose with hers. "They have some pretty steamy sex scenes in those books as well."

"Yeah?"

Another slow brush of his nose against hers. "We could try a few those out." He pulled his face back a little. "Wanna?"

Kate boosted herself up on her toes, kissing his nose. "As long as you remember my name isn't Eve, I'm all yours."

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><p><em>AN: Any guesses as far as Baby Caskett's name? Suggestions to our couple that I can pass along? Give me a review and I'll see if I can get them the message!_

_Also, there are 114 of you that have this story on Story Alert and I only have 80 reviews? I love each and every one of you, so do not be afraid of dropping a review there - I try to respond to all of them. Plus the anon option is turned on so you don't need to sign your review - I would love some constructive criticism if you have any for me!_


	11. Chapter Eleven

_A/N: Castle and Kate appreciate all of the name suggestions you readers sent in with your reviews! It's an important decision, so they thank you all for your help. The girls names far outweigh the boy names, so if there are any lingering boy names that you want them to consider, please send them in!_

**_Disclaimer: Strange... I look more like a poor English major and nothing like an employed writer for Hollywood. Guess I'm not Andrew Marlowe, then, so I don't own Castle..._**

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><p>Castle woke up to soft, butterfly kisses peppering his face and neck. There was a gentle weight over part of his chest and he could feel her fingers playing with the short strands of his hair. He surprised her by kissing her back when she finally made her way to his mouth again. His arm kept her settled on his chest. "What a way to wake up," he muttered against her cheek as she pressed her lips to his jaw.<p>

"I love you, you know."

His free hand guided her eyes to his. "I know. I love you, too." He tangled their legs together, pulling her further over him. "The sunrise makes you even more beautiful." The ends of her hair tickled his nose. "How long have you been awake?"

Between kisses, Kate said, "Since six or so. Need to go to work."

Castle rolled them over, taking her breath away in a kiss of his own. "Then we should get ready, yes?" His weight on her disappeared as he headed toward the bathroom.

Kate took a moment to appreciate the view, resting her head on her outstretched arm. "You're coming in today?"

He stuck his head out of the bathroom, his toothbrush in the side of his mouth as he smiled. "You bet!" Castle vanished. "I don't have a chapter due for a while now and I haven't seen the boys in days."

They got dressed together. When Kate pulled on a loose purple top and took out a black blazer, she smiled after she turned around. Across the room, Castle had just finished buttoning a deep purple shirt with thin, light grey pinstripes. He looked up when he didn't hear movement on her side of the room.

"What's wrong?" he asked, hooking his own suit jacket on his finger.

She gestured between them. "We match." When he only raised a brow, she shook her head, laughing lightly. "We can't match!"

He shrugged, walking over to kiss her nose. "I think it's cute."

"No. We can't match," she mumbled, pulling the purple top off and trading it for a light blue tank and a white cardigan that hit below her hips, belting it with a light grey belt. He watched the change, leaning against the doorway. She shook her head when she looked up. "It's too cutesy. No matching outfits."

He followed her out of the bedroom and to the kitchen, watching as she threw bread into the toaster. She handed him a bowl, knowing that he'd be looking for one as he grabbed the box of Cheerios, taking a second one down for her granola. "We matched before, you know."

Kate was mixing strawberry yogurt with the granola, taking a bite while watching the toaster. "Yeah, but we didn't get dressed in the same room back then. That was coincidence."

Castle kissed her neck, taking a slice of her toast when it popped up a second later. "I thought you don't believe in coincidence."

"Only in regards to murder cases," she muttered under her breath, spreading the remaining piece of toast with butter before sprinkling cinnamon sugar on it.

"Sure... So it was pure coincidence that, years ago, a certain psychic predicted that a beautiful woman would move in with me and never leave?"

Kate whirled around, pointing her spoon at him. "That referred to Martha and you know it."

Castle bit into the toast, edging away from her. "Only my mother moved out a week before the wedding, so she has technically left. You, however, are never going to leave."

"How can you be so sure?"

The kiss they shared tasted faintly of cinnamon and strawberries. "Because, Kate, you love me."

"And aren't you lucky I do?"

"The luckiest."

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><p>Kate sat on the edge of her desk, her heels hitting the side rhythmically. A few M&amp;Ms rested in her hand, forgotten as she studied the white board. Nothing was coming together. Leads had fizzled out faster than she could find them. Witnesses refused to cooperate. Captain Gates was breathing down her neck and Castle was annoying the hell out of her.<p>

So, she had sent her husband out to get lunch for everyone. At a take-out place ten blocks away. It should take him more than an hour to order the food, walk there, and get back. She needed silence and her board, not his crazy theories.

But even his absence wasn't making this case any easier to get a handle on. Kate sighed, pushing her hair back from her face and closing her eyes. When she opened them, she saw Esposito's flick away from her quickly.

"Any insights, Esposito?" she asked cautiously.

He looked up a little too hastily from the folder he had grabbed at random from his desk. Kate forced back a grin at the sheer dread that made his usually-calm brown eyes widen. "No, I got nothing, Beckett."

The smile the crept onto her face had him squirming. "I've got a suspect in the interview room. Want to give me a hand with the interrogation?" She slid off her desk, walking toward the interrogation room without looking to see if he was following; she knew he was.

He closed the door behind him. Kate had settled on the table in the room, one leg tucked under the other as she watched the other detective come in.

"Wait, where's the suspect, Beckett?" Esposito asked, looking slightly confused and a lot worried.

"Sit," Beckett said, ignoring the question as she jerked her head toward one of the metal chairs. Esposito lowered himself into one of the chairs, his eyes on his co-worker the entire time. "You and Lanie okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, we're fine. Did she say something?" he questioned, suddenly more concerned about what his girlfriend had told Beckett. "Because nothing's wrong between us!"

Kate laughed. She had to. It was comforting to know that her best friend had found someone so alarmed about even the suggestion that something was amiss in their relationship. "She didn't say anything was wrong at all." She got up from her seat on the table, pulling the other chair out and sitting across from Esposito. "Actually, I have a few questions that don't have anything to do with your relationship with Doctor Parish."

The nervous chuckle that came out of Esposito revealed just how he was feeling. "Doctor Parish? Beckett, what's going on?"

"Detective, you've been acting strangely these past few weeks." Her voice told him that she wasn't talking to him as a friend; this was an interrogation. "Why is that?"

"No reason. Guess I'm just tired. Long hours, you know." It was deflection and she knew it.

Kate raised her brows in disbelief. "Long hours? You've been a cop for how long, Detective?" When he sat in stunned silence, she continued. "Exactly. Long hours have come with the territory since you joined the force. I'm right there with you. What I don't understand, though, is your sudden fascination with me."

Esposito pushed his chair back, practically running for the door. Beckett was faster as she blocked it.

"Any explanation, Esposito?"

They stared at each other, their shoes nearly on top of the others.

From behind the observation room glass, Ryan and Castle watched on in alternating expressions of amusement and shock. On the short table in front of them sat the food Castle had fetched, forgotten for the moment.

"What is she talking about?" muttered Ryan, glancing between his partner and his boss, his head tilted in concentration.

Castle had his head tilted the opposite way. "He couldn't know that…"

Ryan's head whipped around to face Castle. "Know what?"

A second later, Esposito broke the eye contact, turning to walk back across the room, running his hand over his short hair. "You're pregnant."

Ryan's exclaim of "What?" could be heard in the interrogation room. Castle bit his knuckle. Esposito swallowed hard. And Kate just glared at the glass, then back at the other detective in the room with her.

A minute later, the interrogation room was crowded with the three men and Kate. The boys sat at the table as Kate paced on the other side.

"Now, we have a situation," she said calmly, her hands twisting together as she walked the length of the room, turned, and started back. "One that I'd rather stay under wraps for a while yet. So far, only the people in this room and Lanie know and I want it to stay that way. Got it?" She fixed each of them with a stare until they nodded. "Good. Nothing said in this room is to leave it." With a smile, she opened the door, waved a hand out. "Dismissed."

Esposito and Ryan were first out the door. Once Esposito was out of Beckett's hearing range, he muttered to his partner, "Why do I feel like I was just taken down a notch by one of the training officers in the Academy?"

"Because, basically, we just were," Ryan answered. They sat at their desks, trying to re-focus on the case at hand.

Kate was pleased with herself as she went for coffee. She hadn't killed Esposito. She hadn't cut Ryan's tongue off to prevent him from spilling the news across the precinct. And, so far, she hadn't thrown herself off the roof for leaving that folder lying out on her desk two weeks ago. Kate picked down her mug from the rack, poured the coffee, added her milk and sugar.

"That was… interesting."

She looked up when Castle walked in, closing the door to the break room behind him. "What was?"

He found a mug that didn't have a detective's name on the hook below it, poured himself a cup of coffee. As he mixed in the cream and two sugars, he answered, "That mini-interrogation of yours."

When he looked up, Kate was closer than she had been a minute ago. "Just asking a colleague a few questions. Why would that be interesting?" She smiled when his eyes focused on her lips.

"Kate, you weren't just asking him questions." His voice was a little unsteady, but he continued. "That was full-on interrogation."

She shrugged, took a sip of her coffee. "I needed to know the truth. He's been bugging me for a week with these sideways glances. He knew something. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to Lanie."

"You can't."

Kate's mouth opened, then closed. Then opened again as she stared at Castle. "I what?"

Castle shook his head. "Not today, at least." He stepped forward, resting his free hand on her arm. "Kate, you are riding the emotional roller-coaster right now. You're volatile and you'll end up saying things you don't mean to Lanie or who knows what. Not a good idea to talk to her today."

She stared for what seemed like a long time.

He steered her toward the door back to the bullpen. "It's called mood swings. You can thank the little one for them, since they'll be around for, oh, another week or so, if our timeline is right. Talk to Lanie tomorrow."

"Fine," she grumbled, snatching up a donut one of the other officers had brought in that morning and striding back over to her desk. She shot glares at Ryan and Esposito as she went by. Castle followed, circling his pointer finger around his ear as he went by in the typical 'she's crazy' motion, then smiled when she glanced back at him.

Kate reclaimed her spot on her desk. The case in front of her still didn't look any clearer, but she felt better knowing exactly what her team knew about her pregnancy. Castle took his usual seat, tapping her on the knee.

"What, Castle?"

"See? Now we're back to grumpy." He took an M&M from her bowl, threw it in the air and caught it expertly in his mouth. "This morning we were affectionate, then we were angry with the boys, then we had a moment of being all lovey-dovey in the break room, and now we're back to being cranky. Told you," he said with a smile up at her. "Emotional roller-coaster." He added the hand movement representative of an amusement park thrill ride.

"Do I owe them an apology, then?" she asked, letting her head fall into the palm of her arm, her fingers rubbing her scalp in the hopes that the motion would get rid of the whisper of a headache.

Castle handed her the mug of coffee and nudged the donut toward her. "Not at all. They just have to get used to the unexpected with you for a week and a half." He gave her thigh a squeeze of comfort. "They'll be fine. You'll be fine. We're all going to be fine."

Kate briefly linked their pinkies, looking over her shoulder and down at him. "Thanks, Castle."

"Always, Kate." He disentangled his finger from hers, pointing toward the murder board. "Now let's solve this so the captain looks good at CompStat tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." Kate jumped off her desk, picking up the marker and started drawing connections between the evidence taped on the board.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Tension resolved in the Twelfth as far as dear Esposito is concerned! It was time to put him out of his misery - I couldn't watch our hip Latino detective suffer any longer. Plus, I think Kate's little interrogation of him was the funnest thing to write so far!_

_But what did you, dear readers, think? Send me a review with your thoughts - anon option is turned on if you don't want to sign your review! I truly appreciate it since they will certainly end up distracting me from the packing for college that I should be doing..._


	12. Chapter Twelve

_A/N: I'm back at college which means I have no idea what my writing/editing/publishing schedule will become. So I wanted to get this chapter out before I become overrun with classes. It's shorter than usual, but I kept staring at it and it wouldn't go anywhere else and I didn't want to force them to do something more just to get it longer._

**_Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure Andrew Marlowe has already completed college. I've still got two years. We're not the same person._**

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><p>"What? No!"<p>

At the sound of Kate's scream, Castle ran from the shower to the bedroom doorway. "What is it, Kate?"

She was standing in front of the closet, her favorite pair of jeans on and a deep red top pulled up to the bottom of her breasts as she examined herself in the mirror. She turned her gaze onto Castle, hiding the surprise when she found him naked, dripping all over the hardwood floor. "Look!"

He grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist before going to stand next to her, examining the reflection in the mirror. Suddenly, he found himself trapped in a typical man-problem: he wanted to tell her she looked beautiful, but she obviously found something wrong in the mirror. But how did he ask her what was wrong without sounding like he didn't know himself?

"Umm…"

Kate stepped away from him, turned in profile to the mirror. "Don't you see it?"

Castle screwed up his face as he looked from the mirror's reflection to the woman next to him. Nothing seemed different. Sure, she was a little heavier on the top, but that was expected. But everything else seemed completely normal, from her wavy brown hair and perfectly done make-up to the slightly-lower heels she had on her feet. "Uh, what should I be seeing exactly?" When she glared at him, even from a head shorter than he, Castle found himself backing up from the intensity. "Hey, I'm not a real detective! It's not my job to notice things!"

"You're telling me you can't see this?" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and running it over her stomach.

Instead of the smooth plane of her stomach, there was a slight bump. The emotions in their eyes were complete opposite: she was alarmed and frustrated while he was only entranced.

"Kate…"

She started shaking her head slowly, taking a step back so his hand fell to his side. "Oh no. You cannot think that this," she gestured wildly to her midsection, "is cool or cute or adorable or anything like that!"

He stepped closer, she stepped back until her calves hit the edge of the bed and she tumbled onto it. Castle settled over her, his hands on either side of her head as he pressed a kiss against her lips. "I think it is all of those things and more."

"My pants don't button anymore."

"We'll buy you new pants."

"But I like these. They're my favorite." Her voice was faintly whiny and, in the back of her mind, she had to kick herself for sounding so juvenile.

He quieted her with another kiss. "And you'll be back in those in six months. Until then, we'll find some new favorite pants."

Kate deflated a little under him. "I look fat."

Castle drew back, rolling over her to lie on the bed next to her. Kate stayed on her back, her hair splayed out behind her head, her eyes trained on the ceiling. "Kate… Hey." He waited until she turned her head and looked at him. It broke his heart to see her eyes swimming with unshed tears. "You do not look fat. You look stunning, gorgeous. You look like you. Just carrying our little one before we can hold him."

"Rick…"

He linked their hands on the comforter between them. "And even when you get bigger, you will still be the most magnificent, exquisite, and gorgeous woman in the world. Kate, no matter what, I will love you."

"Even if I look fat?" she whispered.

Castle leaned over, cupped her cheek in one of his hands and kissed her, sweetly and gently. "Even then. Now let's see about finding you a pair of pants that fit, shall we?" Before letting her get up, Castle pressed a kiss to the barely visible bump of her stomach. "Good morning, little one." He let a hand linger over the gentle swell before pulling Kate to her feet.

When he was walking over to his closet, Kate dashed away the tears from her eyes, thankful once again that she managed to come to her senses and held onto Castle before he gave up on her.

* * *

><p>She had to trade the fitted red shirt for a draped black one that effectively covered the bump and Castle had found a pair of pants that would button from the back of her closet. She had stopped on her way into the precinct to pick up a chocolate chip muffin, their coffee, and was now happily picking away at the sugary topping on the muffin.<p>

The boys had tried to make conversation with her, but she had waved them off, too concerned with taking apart the muffin to talk. Truthfully, her head was pounding and Kate was trying to focus her energy on the muffin to stop the marching band that had come complete with a drumline that seemed to have taken up residence behind her eyes. The fluorescent lights from the precinct were blinding and she was seriously considering moving her desk into the dark observation room.

Obviously, the Advil she had knocked back an hour ago wasn't working the wonders it claimed to. Her coffee was barely dulling the ache. So Kate was hoping that the chocolate sugar-rush from the muffin would give her the energy to play through the pain.

The migraines were expected; the doctor had told her that near the end of the first trimester her hormones would be playing tricks with her body. But knowing the migraines were coming and actually experiencing them were two different ballgames. She was striking out at the moment.

"Castle, I want food."

She saw his head move, looking up from the Rubix cube he was spending the morning slaving over. He glanced from her face, down to the crumbs of muffin that she had picked to pieces, then back up to her eyes. "Uh… The muffin wasn't enough?"

Kate threw a chunk of muffin at his nose. "I want real food. Maybe a tuna sandwich. And chocolate-dipped pretzels."

Castle held back a little shudder. "At the same time?"

"No! Maybe. I don't know," she trailed off, clicking through her e-mail inbox. Seconds later, she turned back to him. "Well?"

"You want a sandwich now?"

Kate raised both her brows, shifting her head to the side a bit, clearing indicating that 'now' would be ideal.

Fifteen minutes later, Kate was settled in the break room with a tuna melt, a bag of pretzels that had been smothered in dark chocolate, and a Sprite. From the bullpen, the boys watched as she happily switched between the sandwich and handfuls of chocolate pretzels.

"Strangest thing I've ever seen," Ryan muttered, sipping his coffee.

"Hey! That's my wife you're talking about!" Castle jumped in, defending Kate.

Esposito turned his chair around, shrugging. "I mean, look at her. Chocolate pretzels and a tuna melt at the same time? That's just weird."

Castle looked between the two other men, then fixated on Ryan. "You're telling me that in Jenny's two pregnancies she never once had a strange craving?"

"Well, yeah… But this is Beckett we're talking about, you know?"

"So it's different when it's your boss?"

Both Ryan and Esposito shrugged. "Yeah."

"What're you all talking about?"

All three heads turned when Beckett came into the bullpen, fishing the last crumbs of pretzel from the bag. "Nothing," they simultaneously answered, trying to look innocent.

Castle followed Kate back to her desk. "Sandwich was good?"

"Perfect," she replied with a smile that lit up not only her face, but his. She pulled out the file that she had been looking at earlier, opening a corresponding word document on the computer. "I was thinking Remy's for dinner tonight. Do you think they'll put their chili on the burger for me?"

She didn't see the shutter that occurred across the bullpen from all her boys.

"I'm sure we can work something out with them," Castle responded, patting her shoulder with a shake of his head.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Please review! Just a few words will make my day - promise._

_Also, I would gladly take any wishes of good luck since I'll be dipping my toes into a creative writing class which means working on my own, original characters. I'm a little scared so any kind words for me until Wednesday afternoon would be greatly appreciated._


	13. Chapter Thirteen

_A/N: I've been spending days in my dorm room and writing. Just for you, dear readers. Also because I moved in on Friday and classes don't start until Wednesday. But mostly for you._

**_Disclaimer: While Andrew Marlowe was once an English major, he has since gained that degree. I haven't. Working on it..._**

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><p>"You sure you want to do this today?"<p>

Kate looked over her shoulder, glared at the man trailing behind her, then turned to smile at the desk sergeant. "Morning, Geraldson."

"Morning, Beckett," the aging man piped up, giving her a wave from behind the Sports page of the Times.

Once the elevator had emptied of other riders, Kate turned to her husband, holding her hands out to the side. "It's getting sort of obvious right about now. I'm surprised she hasn't said anything about it yet."

The bullpen was empty, the lights in the captain's office peeking through the blinds that Gates kept down. Kate dropped her purse on her chair, running a hand through her hair. She was nervous. Even after the years with Captain Gates running Homicide, Kate had never really gotten a grasp on her captain's personality. This conversation could go in many directions.

"You. Stay." Kate pointed at Castle first, then at his chair.

He shook his head, taking her hand firmly. "No way. We're in this together, Kate. For better or worse and all that fluffy stuff."

In the silence of the bullpen, Kate boosted up on her toes and planted a kiss on his lips. "Okay."

Kate knocked on the frame of the closed door, her eyes closed as she took a moment to compose herself. The morning had started well enough. She had gotten used to dressing to camouflage her growing belly, no longer completely shocked at her reflection in the mirror. But at five months, it was getting harder to keep the secret from people.

"Enter."

The voice jarred Kate from her thoughts. With a quick smile at Castle, she opened the door. "Captain, do you have a few minutes?"

The other woman was typing furiously on the computer in front of her and continued to do so even when she raised her eyes to look at Kate and Castle. "What do you want?"

Moments like this made Beckett miss Montgomery. Gates' short, to-the-point manner made the absence of her mentor's gentle fathering even more evident. "Captain, I'm going to need to be on desk-duty in a few months." Kate's eyes flicked toward Castle, then steadied back on Gates' face. "You see, sir, we're-"

"Pregnant?" Gates supplied. She only shrugged when Kate opened her mouth to respond. "Been there, done that. You really think you were hiding it all this time?"

"I, uh, thought I was doing a decent job," Kate stuttered finally.

Gates went back to typing in a form on the computer. "You were fooling pretty much everyone that hasn't had two kids before, Beckett. Plus, it really won't be my concern."

"And why is that?" Castle jumped in. Both Kate and Gates looked over at him.

"I'm transferring out in a month." The woman was answering without glancing up, her concentration on the monitor. "They want me for bureau chief in organized crime. You'll be getting a new supervisor that will worry about you being out in the field or at your desk. But thank you for letting me know, Beckett."

Kate recognized a dismissal when she heard one. "You're welcome, sir."

Castle closed the door behind them. "Well that was…" he had turned, but Kate was already sitting at her desk. He jogged over, sitting in his chair so quickly that it rocked onto two legs. "So what're you going to do?"

"Nothing." She opened her e-mail inbox, clicking through a few reports sent back from CSU. "At least, not until the new captain gets in."

He sat back, picking up one of the Angry Birds that had taken up residence on her desk and tossing it back and forth. "Who do you think it'll be?" When she just shifted her eyes in his direction, he clarified. "The new captain."

She shrugged, leaning back in her chair and swiveling to face him. "Could be anyone, really. There's a few that I know of who are looking for a new command."

"Any that you know personally?"

Kate shook her head. "Not well."

She went back to looking through reports on ballistics and blood testing. He replaced the plush bird on her desk next to the elephants. "Hey, at least we don't have to hide anything anymore!"

"Oh yes, because we were doing so well before telling Captain Gates," she said sarcastically.

Just as the elevator opened, Castle leaned over and kissed her. "I think you were doing fine."

By the time that Esposito and Ryan rounded the corner to their desks, Castle and Kate had separated, sitting in their respective chairs with Castle on his phone and Beckett logging into the computer.

* * *

><p>"So, do you two want to know the gender now or is it a surprise?"<p>

They glanced at each other, the question hovering between their eyes. They had talked about whether to keep the baby's gender a mystery to themselves or just to everyone else. Castle wanted to shout such news from the top of the Chrysler building. Kate wanted to keep it a secret between them.

Castle smiled at the nurse. "Go for it," he said, linking his hand with Kate's.

The nurse ran the ultrasound wand over Kate's stomach, turning the little monitor away from their view as she searched for the right area. Castle could feel Kate's pulse racing through the veins in her wrist as he rubbed his thumb over it. He knew that they didn't care if it was a boy or a girl; as long as the baby was healthy. And according to every other doctor's appointment, it was. A gender would be icing on the cake.

"Okay, here it is!" Kate squeezed Castle's hand and received a similar gesture in return when they looked at the monitor. The nurse expertly held the wand in place as the other pointed on the screen. "Here's his head, right here. And he must be a fighter – look at his little fists!"

Kate stopped hearing the nurse after the second word. "Castle…" she sighed.

The nurse quickly pulled the wand away from Kate before Castle leaned over Kate and kissed her. "I love you so much, Kate."

With tears in her eyes, Kate pushed him off. "Love you too, but I want to hear more."

A second later, the screen was filled with the image of their son, his fists curled up to his face. The nurse pointed out his fists again, then his nose, followed by his feet. Five minutes later, they were walking out of the office with the photos tucked into Kate's purse. And the smile hadn't been wiped off their faces.

Kate was surprised they made it to the car before Castle blurted out, "Who are we going to tell?"

She only glanced at him, working to keep her eyes on the road as she pulled out into traffic. "Alexis, your mother, and Dad." When he groaned, she gave him a light punch on the shoulder. "We can consider telling the boys later. Can't it just be our secret for a while?"

"Where's the fun in that, though?"

"Are you seriously whining over the fact that I want to withhold personal information from the team that I, that we, work with every day?" Kate exclaimed, disbelief obvious in her voice. "Really, Castle?"

He slouched in the passenger seat. "Well, when you put it that way…"

"Just for a little while, Castle. Then we can call the press."

They drove in silence until Kate parked in the garage. "This means we can narrow down our name list!"

Kate shot a look over her shoulder as she hit the elevator button. "You know that ultrasounds aren't assurances, right?"

"Yeah, but we can focus on boy names now. It's easier than trying to keep both lists going, you know."

They stepped off on their floor and Kate waited for him to unlock the apartment. "You know my top choice."

In a breath, Kate found herself pressed to the back of the door, her purse dropping to her feet as he moved his lips an inch from hers. "Still keeping with your first pick?"

"Yes. And I'm always right, so if we do happen to have a boy, he'll have whatever name I choose."

"And why do you get sole name-choosing power in this relationship?"

"Because," she whispered with a smile, "I'm the one carrying him around for nine months before you get to even think about putting your hands on him." She kissed him lightly, ducking from under his arms. "Duh. Now, I could use some dinner."

Kate sat at the kitchen counter, watching as Castle's face went from shock to incredulity. "You refuse to let me have a hand in our child's name then demand I make you dinner? Why?"

"Same reason as I stated previously." Kate clapped twice. "Now, get cooking, Ricky. The mother of your child is hungry!"

He sighed, picking up her purse from the floor and tossing it in her direction. "And what does the mother of my unborn child want to eat tonight?"

* * *

><p><em>AN: So, two pieces of news in one chapter! What do we all think? Happy to say "goodbye" to Captain Victoria Gates? And it's a boy for Castle and Kate! Any guesses as to Kate's name choice for Baby Caskett?_

_I ask you all to review. You don't need to sign your review, though if you do, I try to respond to every one. Waking up to reviews, favorites, and alerts makes me insanely happy. Plus, they might make me write Chapter Fourteen a little quicker, considering it is mostly done, sitting on the bottom of my desktop, just waiting for me to look at it again. And let me tell you - it's a good one._

_Also, I'm batting around the idea of giving the chapters actual titles. Do we like this idea or do we enjoy just having "Chapter Blah-de-Blah"? I value your opinions!_


	14. Chapter Fourteen

_A/N: With that last chapter, I surpassed 151 reviews and am on over 60 people's Favorite Story lists! I wish I could find a list of synonyms for 'humbled' because that's exactly how I feel right about now. Just very humbled and grateful to everyone that has added All My Secrets to their favorites and/or alerts and/or have reviewed it. You are all my heroes (or heroines, depending)!_

**_Disclaimer: I'm suffering through my Intermediate French II and Medieval Romances classes. Andrew Marlowe isn't (though he might have at one point in his college career...)._**

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><p>It was already an unusual day for Kate. Instead of strolling into the precinct in pressed grey pants and power-heels, she was almost waddling in wearing a dark blue sweater dress with elbow-length sleeves and stopped at her knees, belted above her now obviously pregnant belly, and a pair of black flats. Her hair was not loosely curled, but clipped up in a mess of a bun with a lobster clasp. Yet she still looked like she owned the bullpen as she stepped off the elevator.<p>

And nearly ran into a tiny woman that was waiting on the Homicide floor.

"Oh my goodness!" the woman shouted, sidling out of Kate's way. "I am so sorry."

"It's not a problem," Kate reassured the other person, smiling. The overflow of concern was something she had gotten used to quickly, even if she didn't like the fact that people would fawn over her just because she had a little human inside her. One that kept her up until all hours of the night with trips to the bathroom or to the kitchen for food.

She went to her desk, lowering herself slowly into the chair. Castle had locked the wheels on it so she wouldn't slide all over the place when she sat. It was sweet and thoughtful, but she sort of missed wheeling around the precinct when no one was looking.

"Lookin' good, boss."

Kate winked over at Esposito as he and Ryan came off the elevator with coffee cups in their hands.

Ryan gave her an once-over as he walked past. "Is that a dress, Beckett?"

"Shut up, Ryan."

The elevator pinged. She looked over and saw Castle come off with two coffees and a bag that she knew held a muffin.

"Good morning, you two!" he greeted as he set the coffee and muffin on Kate's desk and sat in his chair. "And to you, Ryan and Esposito!" he added, grinning toward the other detectives.

Kate smiled over the lid of the coffee cup. "Well, aren't you hilarious?"

"I try."

She glanced at the captain's office, now dark and empty for the second day in a row. No one knew who was going to move into Montgomery's office after Gates, but they had obviously not shown their face yet. For the past two days, Kate had operated as the commander of the squad.

"Oh my God!"

The exclamation had the four of them turning to face the elevator. Standing there, framed by the silver of the doors, was the petite woman that had run into Kate earlier. Kate pushed herself out of her chair, ready to help the woman.

"Is that Rick Castle?"

Kate had gotten used to people recognizing her shadow long ago, but it was different coming from this stranger. There was a flurry of red hair and the click of heels as the woman ran over to shake Castle's hand.

"Emily O'Connor. I'm a huge fan, sir."

He slipped into the bestseller-mood instantly. "I'm glad to hear that, Emily."

Emily turned to face Kate, her eyes lighting up with realization. "Oh goodness, that makes you Beckett!" She stuck her hand out to Kate, shaking it enthusiastically. "I am so sorry about earlier with the elevator. I had no idea!"

"Really. It wasn't a problem," Kate answered. She was still trying to figure out exactly who this woman was and why she was in her bullpen.

Castle took the box the woman held. "And where is this headed, Miss O'Connor?"

She pointed toward the captain's office. "In there. I have the keys somewhere…" the woman trailed off, searching her coat pockets for the keychain.

"I have a key, Miss O'Connor," Kate offered, taking the keyring from her desk and going over to unlock the office door.

"Thank you! I swear I just had the key here."

Kate leaned against the doorframe, watching as the woman set the box on the desk. "I'm sorry to assume, but I take it you are the new captain here?"

O'Connor boosted herself onto the clear desk, shaking her head. "Lieutenant, actually. But same role, you know? All the captains are happy in their current positions, so they're shuffling us lieutenants around the department. And frankly, I wanted out of Vice. Too many hours spent with pros and pimps than I ever wanted." She pushed herself off the desk, opening the blinds to the precinct bullpen. "I'll chat with everyone once I grab my other box from the car."

Kate followed O'Connor from the office, smiling when the woman waved before getting on the elevator.

"So?"

She looked over at the boys, all of whom were staring at her expectantly. "So, what?"

"Who is she?" Ryan asked.

Kate rolled her eyes, taking a sip of the coffee Castle had placed on her desk earlier. "The new commander."

"Wait," Esposito broke in, pointing in the direction of the elevator. "She is the new captain?"

A shake of her head had the loose brown curls hitting her cheeks. "Lieutenant, not Captain."

"Lieutenant?" muttered Castle.

"That's what I said," Kate tossed at him. "Seems that you have another fan in the Twelfth."

Out of sight from the boys, Castle squeezed Kate's knee. "But there's only one fan that matters to me." Kate cocked her head at his words, raising a brow. "What? Too sappy?"

"Borderline." Her face said she was annoyed, but her tone told her the line was just enough.

O'Connor reappeared and Esposito went to help her carry the box into the office. Everyone in the bullpen watched as Esposito pushed the box onto the desk, then followed O'Connor out.

"Okay, Homicide division!" the woman announced, clapping her hands once so that the sound reverberated throughout the room. Heads turned and sounds ceased. "Hey everyone! I'll try to make this short so everyone can get back to work. I'm Lieutenant Emily O'Connor and I'm going to be in charge from now on. I didn't spend too much time in Homicide when I was a beat cop or a detective, so I'll be leaning on you all for a little bit until I get my feet under me. I hear this division is the top in the city, so I know I'll be learning from the best.

"In the meantime, I'd like to take a few minutes to talk to each of you individually. Just to get your perspective of how the squad is being run and such. Shouldn't take too long, so whenever you have some free time, just knock on the door and we can chat. Sound good?" When everyone nodded, exchanging glances, O'Connor smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

Kate opened the bag on her desk, pulled out the blueberry muffin, and took the top off, popping a piece into her mouth as she opened a forensic report.

Castle reached over, took a piece of muffin for himself. "So, what do you think of her?"

"She's different from Gates, that's for sure," Kate responded. "But I don't know her yet."

"Yeah, but compared to Gates, she's a step up, for sure."

"We'll see."

"Yo!" Kate looked up when Esposito called out. "Lanie wants to do dinner with everyone tonight. Is the Old Haunt free, Castle?"

He answered the question with an expression that clearly stated "Duh."

Kate pushed herself up out of her chair. "You two iron out details. I'll go talk with O'Connor." She knocked on the doorframe of the office, startling the woman who was holding a handful of pens that she was preparing to drop into a mug. "You have a few minutes now, Lieutenant?"

"Sure, Detective!" O'Connor said, arranging the pens in the deep purple mug from Columbia University. "Please, sit."

Kate sat slowly in the chair she had always claimed during Montgomery's time in the Twelfth. When she glanced up, she saw O'Connor watching her carefully, as if she were going to break. "I'm fine. Just takes me a bit longer to get up and down then before."

"How far along are you?" she asked, sitting down.

"About seven months. Just a little longer now."

O'Connor folded her hands on her desk, picking at the already-chipped French manicure. "And is Dad happy?"

Kate bit her lip as she smiled out the open blinds at Castle, who was throwing the Angry Birds at Ryan and Esposito. "He's overjoyed. Only male in the house for so long, he'll be happy to have another on his side in a few months."

"Your first?"

Normally, questions about her personal life while in the precinct drove Kate crazy to the point that she refused to answer them. But the petite redhead across the desk from her looked so unassuming and so interested that she couldn't say 'no' to answering the questions. "My first, his second. Do you have children, Lieutenant?"

"One. Patrick. He's seventeen. And you can call me Emily."

"I'll stick with O'Connor. How's that?" Kate suggested. The woman shrugged. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

"Anything, really. Just trying to get a feel for the place and I know the best way to do that is to talk to the people that work there every day." When Kate only looked at O'Connor, the woman sighed. "Listen, I know about the history of this division. I know about Montgomery. Worked with him on a few cases, in fact. He was a stand-up cop and a great man. And I know what he meant to you. Those cases we worked together? When he wasn't talking about the case, he was talking about the people here at the Twelfth. You were his family in every way that mattered."

Kate swallowed hard. She had worked years to keep a cap on the bottle of emotions that she had surrounding Montgomery. The bottle was usually sealed rather well, but the few words from this woman had feelings leaking out in a slow stream. "That means a lot to hear, O'Connor." Kate smoothed a hand over the fabric covering her stomach, giving herself time to compose her thoughts. "Well, I've been here for about sixteen years, all but the last three with Montgomery. I must say that Gates turned the squad into something it hadn't been before."

"And was that for the best?" O'Connor asked gently.

"Honestly?" Kate waited for the nod before continuing. "No. This group tends to work best by thinking outside of the box. Sometimes way outside the box. Gates wanted none of that and it restricted my team."

"Is Castle part of your team?"

"He is. An important member, in fact. In many cases, it is Castle's suggestions and crazy theories that lead to breaks that end in an arrest and a closed case. And with your blessing, I'd like to keep him on the team."

"Never would I think of kicking him out. First off, I've seen the reports from the past few years and know that you are right. His presence here is far too important to go without and that is documented in your reports and in Montgomery's. Secondly, Detective, I am a fan of your husband's. While I may be his boss now, I don't think I have the guts to tell him to 'get out and stay out,' you know?" O'Connor laughed, shaking her head so that the loose red hair swung around her pretty face.

Kate smiled. "He's pretty hard to resist. Somehow I managed to for five years, but he'll wear you down." Silence that actually felt relaxed reigned for a minute until Kate spoke again. "Listen, I'll need to be on desk-duty in a month or so."

"We can talk about that when that month gets closer. For now, as long as you and Castle feel comfortable having you out in the field, that is where I'd like you. Is there anything else you want to talk about, Beckett?"

"I can't think of anything at the moment." Kate pushed out of the chair and had her hand on the doorknob when O'Connor piped up for a last time.

"Just out of curiosity, Detective." Kate tuned to face the lieutenant who was still sitting at her desk. "Do you have a name picked out or are you waiting?"

Kate glanced at her husband, now playing the electronic version of Angry Birds on his iPhone. "We're narrowing down the list. I have a favorite and he had some ideas, so we're working to combine our choices into one, you know?"

"Not really." When the detective raised a brow, O'Connor clarified. "My ex-husband didn't really give me a choice in our son's name. I'm still a fan of Patrick, but I would have liked a little more say in the decision. It's refreshing to see a couple so willing to work together to come to a conclusion after my disheartening experience, is all."

"We'll see how it all turns out in the end. Thank you for your time, Lieutenant."

Kate closed the door behind her. She caught the questioning looks from her team as she sat back at her desk. "Painless," she announced to the bullpen, just loud enough for them to hear but not for O'Connor to overhear. "Get back to work."

Castle shoved the iPhone back in his suit jacket pocket, leaning an elbow on her desk. "What's the plan for the day?"

The words weren't out of his mouth for a second before her phone rang. "Beckett." She cradled the phone in her shoulder, scribbling out an address on a Post-It note from her desk. "Alright. Be there in twenty. Boys! Murder in TriBeCa. Let's roll."

Ryan popped his head into O'Connor's office to let her know they were headed out before everyone piled into the elevator to go down to the parking garage.

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><p><em>AN: Goody - a semi-cliff-hanger ending! Promise this will resolve in the next chapter since it is kind of really important._

_I'd love to hear your thoughts on Lieutenant Emily O'Connor in the reviews! I know how I feel about her and what her role is going to be in this home-stretch of All My Secrets, but I want your opinions without my thoughts clouding yours. Seriously - if you've never written me a review before, DO IT WITH THIS! Honestly, I want opinions on Lt. O'Connor._

_And of course I would love for you to review even if you have nothing to say on the topic of Lt. O'Connor. Praise, critiques, rambling messages - I'll take it all! Give me something to wake up to._


	15. Chapter Fifteen

_A/N: Hey there, readers! I'm spoiling you with an update in 24 hours. Do you really need more proof that I love you all dearly? (I hope not, since this is all I have to give.) This one wrote itself right after I posted Chapter Fourteen - kept me up until 2am on a school night! Luckily, I didn't have class until 2pm, so it wasn't horrible. This will happen a lot during the course of the year since I've discovered my prime writing time is between midnight and 2am... Not the most convenient hours, but I'll work with it._

**_Disclaimer: While I assume the real writers and AM have strange sleeping/working hours, I am not among them. I'm in New England where it rains almost 24/7. Keeping that clear._**

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><p>Kate pulled the unmarked against the curb, tossing the laminated NYPD plate in the dash before using the steering wheel and headrest of the seat as leverage to get out of the driver's side. She and Castle had arrived first on-scene, looking into the alley with a grimace.<p>

Halfway down the dark corridor, Kate could make out the shape of a body, sprawled against the brick building. Castle waited as she closed her eyes, watched as her chest rose with a deep breath, then lowered with her exhale. She was steady as she walked past the two building corners into the alley, Castle at her heels.

Two weeks ago, Kate discovered that she had more difficulty getting up from a crouch than before, so she only leaned over the body, bracing her gloved hand on the brick wall supporting the victim. "Looks like a female. From what I can see, probably a stabbing." Castle heard her voice falter, just as it always did when they came across a female stabbing victim. But it was faster to level out after they had ensured Johanna Beckett's murderer was behind bars. "I put her at mid-thirties. Castle, can you see if she has her wallet or purse on her?"

He crouched next to the woman, his gloved fingers searching her jacket pockets for a wallet just as Ryan and Esposito pulled up behind Kate's car. He grabbed the slim wallet from the woman's pocket just as a short scream echoed in the alley.

Movement ensued. Immediately, Ryan and Esposito had guns drawn, aimed over Castle's head. Castle turned, just the slightest motion of his eyes, and saw something that had his world screeching to a stop: a man was holding a knife to his wife's chest, the point hovering over the very place Kate had been shot years ago.

"Don't any of y'all move, hear me?" the man yelled, looking each of the men in the eye. "I'll do it. Not afraid ta do it in the least."

Castle's eyes met Kate's and the fear that those usually-intrepid green eyes held had him reeling. He knew he couldn't just sit here and watch this play out; he needed action, action that would save Kate and the baby. And all he had to fight with was a wallet. Only once before had he felt this helpless.

"Listen, man," said Esposito calmly, his gun still trained on the man's head, visible over Kate's shoulder. "You don't want to do this. You don't want to go down for a cop's murder, do you?"

"The hell I do!" the man shouted, stumbling backwards and dragging Kate with him. Castle saw that she was biting her lip, her eyes still locked with his as if they were her lifeline. "I'm already goin' down for that bitch's murder. What's another life really?"

Ryan took a step forward, then stopped when the man pushed the knife against Kate's chest hard enough for a squeak to slip past her lips. "You kill her, you're going to trial for three murders." The man cocked his head in confusion. "You didn't notice she's pregnant?"

The man obviously hadn't from the expression of shock that graced his face after a glance down. "Aw, shit," he muttered, his breath whispering across Kate's ear and drawing a shiver from her. "Shit."

"Listen." Esposito's voice rang out, clear and strong. "There's a way we can all get out of this. You just need to put the knife down and step away from Detective Beckett. Simple as that."

"You know I can't do that, man!"

Castle felt his chest constrict so fiercely that it hurt to breathe. The knife had cut through the fabric of Kate's deep blue dress, a patch of pale skin visible in the dark alley. He could see where the scar from the bullet wound ended, the jagged edges meeting smooth skin. The knife point was right on the edge of the scar. He wanted to scream, to yell at Kate to do something. He wanted to jump up and pound this man's head into the brick wall. He wanted to do something other than crouch next to a body and watch as his wife was held hostage.

"You can. It's easy. Toss the knife towards us then raise your hands over your head and let Detective Beckett walk away." Ryan stepped forward again, his shoe hitting Castle's.

The man backed up a step, his back hitting the wall of the opposite building. The motion caused the blade to penetrate the skin on Kate's chest. Castle only watched as Kate's eyes squeezed shut, refusing to cry out. His fists clenched, his entire body shaking with fear and anger. Kate's hands were limp at her side, passive, though he could tell she wanted to wrap them around her midsection in an attempt to protect the baby.

"I can't! I'm in too deep already," the man said, his voice leveling out.

"You can." Kate's voice surprised everyone. It was quiet and composed. "What's your name?"

Everyone in the alley held their breath as they watched Kate and the man.

"M'name's Darren," he mumbled.

"Darren. I'm Kate." She swallowed, her eyes finally shifting from Castle's to rest on a point over her shoulder. "You're a reasonable guy, aren't you, Darren? You don't want to be doing this." She felt him shrug against her. "I know you don't want to do this, Darren. This isn't you."

"You're right. It was a mistake, ya know? Didn't mean to hurt that woman," the man said, finally removing the knife from her chest and waving it toward Castle and the body. "Was an accident."

"I know it was, Darren. But in order for you to come away from this clean, you'll need to let me go. Just throw the knife down the alley and let me walk away. I promise no one will hurt you if you do just that."

The hesitation had everyone holding their breath. Finally, Darren threw the knife down the alley where it bounced off a dumpster and skittered between trash cans. In the instant after Kate stepped away from the man, Ryan and Esposito were on him, spinning him to snap handcuffs on.

"You'll be okay, Darren. You made the right choice right now," Ryan said as he gave the man a gentle shove in the direction of the cars.

Castle saw none of this. His vision had tunneled so that Kate was the only thing visible. She had pulled together the torn edges of the dress to cover the dribble of blood making a thin stream down between her breasts.

Before she could take a step, she found herself in a hug, one that felt like Castle was trying to absorb her very being into his body. "Oh my God, Kate," he muttered into her hair, his hands running up and down her back. "Oh my God."

She let her head rest on his shoulder, her hands trapped between them. "I'm okay, Rick. We're okay."

When he pulled back from the hug, she raised her face to meet his. She could see the tears glistening in the corners of his eyes and she reached up, wiping them away with her thumb. With the same motion, she cupped the back of his head, guiding him down to her lips for a kiss that was a wave of gratefulness and hope and dread.

She smiled faintly against his lips. "We're okay." She took his hand, placing it on her stomach under hers. "See? We're fine." His hand traveled up to rest on her heart. "It's still beating, Rick. And it's just a little cut, really. It's okay." Kate tried to hide the fact that she wasn't repeating those words just for him; she needed to convince herself that everything was fine. She was still riding an adrenaline-rush, but she knew from experience that the crash would come later, when everything hit home.

Blue, red, and white lights lit up the alley as uniforms arrived. Kate tugged on Castle's hand, leading him out of the alley to meet the officers and fill them in on the situation. As soon as she explained the events and Castle handed over the wallet before signing the chain-of-evidence clipboard, they walked back to the car.

Kate tried to pull her hand from Castle's but he pressed her against the passenger door. This time, the kiss was fierce and had her knees buckling from the emotion that ran from his lips to hers. "We need to talk tonight." And then he stepped back, leaving her standing, breathless, for a moment before she pulled herself together enough to walk to her side of the car and open the door. Their eyes met over the hood of the car for a second as they ducked into their seats.

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><p>The Old Haunt was crowded. A low buzz filled the warm, dark room, mixing with the piano music and the clink of glasses at the bar.<p>

The Twelfth had a reserved table in the back, away from the noise, dimly lit by refurbished sconces overhead. It had been a while since they had done this – simply sat around with drinks and an order of nachos and talked.

Tonight, though, their chatter was not broken by laughter. There were no smiles.

"Girl, you can't keep doing that!"

"Lanie, it's my job!" Kate tossed back, her eyes jumping to each person at the table. The expressions on their faces showed that they shared the medical examiner's sentiments. "I can't just stop!"

"Beckett, you aren't the only cop in the city," Ryan added gently, taking a sip of his beer to shield his eyes from her furious glare.

Under the table, Castle took Kate's fist, giving it a squeeze, holding it against his thigh. "Kate, you were a hostage not even six hours ago."

"And you don't think I know that?"

Esposito broke off a nacho on his plate. "We're not saying that you don't remember. I think we're saying that you should consider moving to desk duty tomorrow instead of in a month. Out in the field isn't exactly the safest place for you and Castle 3.0 right now, ya know?"

"Oh, so now I don't care about my child?" Hurt was quickly lacing its way into the anger already present in her voice. Kate pulled her hand from Castle's, trying to get out of the booth and maintain a shred of dignity. "If I wanted your opinions, I would have asked them."

Esposito stopped Lanie from getting up and following Kate as she stormed away from the booth. "Let her calm down, Lane."

The words weren't out of his mouth before Castle was shoving out of his chair and jogging after her. Ryan caught the table as it tipped, dangerously close to spilling drinks and food on their laps.

Lanie let her head fall onto Esposito's shoulder, her hands busying themselves with spinning her glass, leaving a trail of water on the tabletop. "We shouldn't have said anything."

"No, we had to say something. She'll be fine once she gets her head level again," Esposito said, rubbing Lanie's arm with his. "Now, have more nachos, chica."

In the main room, Castle stood against the wall, scanning the tables and booths for his wife. Brian had told him she hadn't left the building. Her familiar head of brown hair wasn't visible, which left one area of The Old Haunt where she could be.

Castle twisted the tiny panel set into the wall, opening the stairwell to the basement. After walking down the first few steps, he turned and pulled the door closed. Suddenly, sounds were amplified in the enclosed space. And his heart broke with the sound that rose above them all.

She was curled, as much as possible, on the desk chair, her arms folded across her stomach and her face pressed into her forearms. When she looked up, her eyes were red and puffy from crying as she hastily wiped her face with the back of her hands. "Castle, I…"

"No, don't get up, Kate," he said softly, walking over to lean against the desk.

She sniffed, refusing to look at him directly. "Do they hate me?"

"Oh Kate…" He moved slowly, reaching down to loop his arms under her knees and around her shoulders, lifting her up.

"Stop! Don't try and pick me up, Castle!" Her protests were half-hearted as he settled in the chair with her on his lap.

He pressed his lips to her hair. "They don't hate you, Kate. They care and they worry. And it's normal." Resting his head on her shoulder, he clasped her hands over her belly. "And I agree with them, Kate." He placed a finger over her mouth before she even opened it. "I know we decided that you would go on desk-duty at eight months, but after today, we need to change that deadline.

"I can't know that is going to happen again, Kate. I can't stand by and watch some psycho hold a knife to your chest and know that with one motion, you could be taken from me. I can't and won't let that happen."

Kate touched her head to his. "You've known me for seven years, Castle. I'm a cop. It's dangerous and there are no guarantees. There won't be even when he comes into the world." She paused, taking a deep breath. "But I will do this. For you and for him and for me and for us and for them."

She felt him exhale, both as his breath rushed past her ear and as his chest deflated against her back. "Thank you, Kate."

They sat in the soft glow of the office below The Old Haunt, their hands linked on her stomach. The piano music leaked down through the trap door with snippets of conversation from tables nearby.

Their faces lit up after minutes of silence.

"Was that?" Castle whispered into her ear.

"Yeah. Yeah it was!" She pressed their joined hands to the left side of her stomach. They were rewarded with a second kick from the baby.

"God, I love you so much, Kate," he muttered before pressing a kiss to her cheek, then to her nose, to her ear, her forehead, and her lips.

He felt her smile against his kiss. "News flash." He pulled back the tiniest bit, just enough for their eyes to meet. "I love you too. Now, can I go up and apologize to our friends?"

"Of course." He untangled their hands, let her slide off his lap. On the walk to the stairwell, he took her hand again, needing the contact. Castle tugged her closer to him as they reached the bottom step. "Thank you."

"Anything." She placed a kiss on his lips before going up the stairs. "But you do owe me a trip to Remy's tomorrow night."

He pinched her side on her way up, releasing a squeal from her. "Fair trade."

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><p><em>AN: Okay, so we veered off from my fluff party there for a while. But it had to happen and it served a purpose. And we got a cute little moment there at the end to make up for it. At least, I hope that is how everyone saw it._

_But honestly? I want to hear how you thought it went. Review! _Please, please, please review! _As always, anonymous review is available if you don't want to sign it. I try to respond to every review that is more than "more please" or "update soon."_

_In addition, I was thinking of doing another M-rated chapter next. Opinions on this decision are accepted._


	16. Chapter Sixteen

_A/N: We're almost there, Detectives! I love that they changed the promos from "September 19th" to "Next Monday" - makes it seem so much closer. Anyway, I've managed to write this in between classes and when I'm not doing homework (which is often)._

**_Disclaimer: English majors rock, so I do feel that Andrew Marlowe and I are twins... But we aren't._**

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><p>When Kate walked into the morgue, cell phone in hand, she was surprised when the room was dark. She stood in the doorway so the hallway light spilled into the morgue.<p>

"Lanie?" Her voice echoed hauntingly. "You here? Because if this is some sort of surprise shower or something, I'll be the one smacking you."

No one jumped out of the body fridge or from behind one of the gurneys or made any noise whatsoever. She let the door close as she opened a new text to Castle, asking where he was. He hadn't come into the precinct at any time during the week – watching her do paperwork wasn't as exciting as it used to be since, previously, those moments of boredom had usually been broken up by trips outside of the Twelfth. Now that she was on desk duty, those moments were nonexistent.

Deciding that 4:47pm was close enough to the end of shift to call it a day, Kate walked outside to grab a cab. Castle had hid her keys after the day she got stuck behind the wheel of the car, much to her annoyance.

Eduardo ran to open the door to the building when he saw her pull herself out of the cab. "Good evening, Kate!"

"Hey Eduardo!" They walked together to the elevator. Before stepping on, Kate held an arm out to stop the door from closing. "Has anyone come by to visit Castle today?"

The man shook his head. "No one out of the usual."

There was music coming from the apartment. Not unusual considering Castle needed sound to write. What she didn't expect on the other side of the door was the crowd of friends and family. The first person to spot her was the one person Kate had been looking for.

"Girl, it is about time you showed up! I was about to send out a search party!" Lanie was wearing a body-hugging, leopard-print dress, her short hair pinned up out of her eyes. The petite woman grabbed Kate's forearm, dragging her further into the apartment before Kate could turn and run. "You need to change before you can officially join the party. Come on."

Kate's mouth was opening and closing without words coming out, mostly because she didn't know which names to call her friend. She passed her father, Castle, the Ryans, and a few other friends as Lanie tugged her into the bedroom, shutting the door.

"Lanie, what is this?" Kate finally blurted out as Lanie started pulling off her purse, tossing it next to the closet. She held her hands protectively over her chest, keeping her shirt away from the prying hands of the medical examiner.

Lanie held up the hanger with a red dress on it, wiggling it back and forth so the soft fabric gave a gentle swish. "Your baby shower! Now get changed into this so we can raise the roof!"

"You need to leave first." When Lanie raised a brow, Kate shook her head. "I'm not getting undressed with you standing there."

Lanie crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not leaving. I'll go get the curling iron started and you better be out of those pants and shirt and into that dress when I get back."

Kate stared at the bathroom doorway for a few seconds, waiting for Lanie's head to reappear. When it didn't, she shimmied out of the pants with a little difficulty, kicking them to the side and tossing her shirt onto them to wash. The red dress was gorgeous and she wasn't sure who she had to thank for that. Sleeveless, it was a deep crimson red with a faux wrap in the front and an excess of fabric in the skirt that would swirl around her legs and cover her belly at the same time.

"Beautiful." Kate whirled around when Castle's voice came from the doorway.

She smiled, but Lanie interrupted. "Castle! Get out of here. You can have her again in five minutes."

"I love you," he called as Kate stepped into the bathroom.

Lanie wielded the curling iron, expertly turning Kate's straight brown hair into soft curls which she then pinned up into a bun. Kate retouched her makeup before spinning in front of her friend. "Presentable?"

They looped arms as they walked out of the bedroom back to the living room. "He was right. Beautiful, not just presentable."

"Don't think you're getting away with this," Kate muttered. "I said no showers."

"It's tradition. You don't mess with tradition. Plus, it'll be fun. And you know everyone."

Lanie had a point. The loft was filled with family and friends. The people she hadn't passed earlier included Esposito, Alexis and Martha, and Madison, all decked out with drinks in hand.

"Ladies and gents, the woman of the hour has arrived!" Lanie announced with a dramatic flourish. There was a round of applause that Kate smiled at, but brushed off quickly as she went to get water from the fridge.

Castle's arms snuck around her waist, coming to rest on the apex of her belly. "I had no part in this shin-dig." She only turned her head, the look of incredulity enough to make up for the lack of words. "Okay, so maybe I was a little involved in the planning." She made a little sound in the back of her throat that said she didn't believe him. He rested his chin on her shoulder, rubbing her belly. "Maybe a lot. But you deserve it."

Fifteen minutes later, she found herself holding court on the couch, catching up with Madison and the restaurant, which was one of the few places in New York City that rarely had an open table.

"Katie, can I talk to you?"

Kate looked up, smiled up at her father, trying to get a read on his emotions. "Sure. Yeah, uh, we can use the office." He helped her get off the couch, let her lead the way into Castle's office. It wasn't the perfect place for a private talk, but considering the party going on in the living room, it was their best bet. Especially since she didn't need her father in the bedroom.

"So, what do you need, Dad?" she asked, closing the door behind them.

Jim pushed the two chairs in the office closer together, gesturing toward one of them. He laughed as he watched his daughter lower herself into the chair, earning himself a glare followed by a little grin.

"You bring me in here to laugh at me or is there another goal?"

"No, there's a secondary goal." He sat across from her, pulling her hands into his. "Katie, are you happy?"

"Mostly, yes." He didn't have to speak to ask the question. "I just wish Mom was here to see this."

He rubbed his thumbs across the back of her hands. "There's something she left for you. In case you ever found the right man. Which you did."

Kate didn't realize how cold her hands were until her father let them fall into her lap as he got up. He walked around to the other side of Castle's desk, reaching into the top drawer. Jim sat back down, the polished wooden box resting on his knees between them.

"I told you about this box when you and Castle did your announcement dinner a while back, remember?" He waited for her nod before continuing. "Your mother started filling this when you began high school. Just little things, at first, things that she wished she had had when we had you. By the time she was killed, the items were a little more serious. She told me about the box when she started, but never revealed to me the things she placed in it. She told me where she was hiding it, though. I took it out of the apartment and kept it in my office desk after she died so you wouldn't find it. I haven't looked inside. But this is the right time for you to have it."

Kate took the box, holding back tears. "Dad…" Her fingers played with the antique brass lock on the front, one of those that snapped shut on a ball-bearing and didn't require a key.

His hand covered hers quickly, the other wiping away a tear. "You don't need to open it now. Wait until you're alone so you can spend a little more time with her. It was always meant to just be between you and her." He tweaked her on the nose lightly, drawing a smile from his daughter. "Now, let's go enjoy that silly party your friends decided to throw for you and my grandson, shall we?"

"I know you had some part in that party. Don't act so innocent," Kate said, placing the box on the corner of Castle's desk.

"I couldn't have my only daughter go her entire pregnancy without a little bit of embarrassment!" He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she cuddled into his side as if she were a child again. "You know everyone out there loves you. It's not even a real party, Katie. More like a gathering of friends."

"Well when you put it like that," Kate smiled, tugging him back toward the living room. "How could I complain?"

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><p>The sky had changed from a clear blue to a sorbet of orange and pink and purple to a velvety black, the stars invisible in the city lights. Castle had dimmed the loft lighting to a glow due to the sleeping Ryan children.<p>

"Where'd Beckett go?" Lanie asked from the couch, Aiden Ryan curled in her lap.

Everyone stopped talking and glanced around the room. Indeed, the woman was missing from the living room and kitchen.

Castle handed Claire Ryan back to Jenny, shaking his head. "I know where she is. It's fine, just keep talking."

He waited for chatter to resume before walking through the office to the bedroom. The door was cracked open, the lights off. But he could clearly see her sprawled out on the bed still wearing the party dress, her hair falling from her carefully-pinned bun. There was a wooden box hugged against her chest.

The mattress dipped when he stretched out behind her. "Hey sleepy-head."

She jumped, her hand coming dangerously close to smacking him in the nose. "Castle?" she mumbled, obviously still half-asleep. "What're you doin' here?"

"I could ask the same thing of you. There's a party for you out there and you're sleeping?"

"M'tired." She rolled onto her back, using his arm as a support for her neck. "He keeps kicking me. Feel."

His hand was gentle as it rested on her stomach. She moved it to the area where the baby was now actively practicing kung fu. "Well that must be annoying."

Kate's eyes fluttered shut. "You have no idea. Can't I just go to bed, Castle?"

"Of course." He shifted off the bed and pulled down one side of the sheets. "Scoot over, Kate." Once she settled under the covers, Castle started unpinning her hair, letting each soft curl brush over his fingers. A final run of his fingers through her hair told her he had taken all of the bobby pins out. "There we go. I'll tell everyone you say 'goodbye,' okay?"

"M'kay. Love you," she muttered, raising her head the slightest bit and he leaned down to meet her.

"Love you too."

He ducked into the bathroom, dropping the handful of bobby pins on the counter. As he moved toward the door, she called out, "Wait! Here." She was holding up the box. "Don't look in it. It's from Mom."

"I won't look in it. I'll put it on the armoire. Go to sleep."

When he re-entered the living room, the people had picked up conversations again, the voices a buzz under the quiet music from the stereo system. Lanie looked over when Castle came in, her face clearly asking "So?"

"She's sleeping. The baby keeps kicking her."

Jenny shifted Claire up into her arms further. "I hear her on that. Kevin, I think we need to get these two back home."

Minutes later, the loft was empty save for Castle, Martha, and Alexis. He switched off the music, sitting on the couch next to his mother.

"That was a nice party, Richard," Martha commented, patting him on the shoulder.

"I agree," Alexis chimed in as she got up from the floor where she had been sitting. "But I need to get to bed. Class is early tomorrow and I need to sleep. Night Dad, Gram."

Martha waved goodnight to Alexis, then turned to her son for the second time. "Have you and Kate thought of names for my grandson?"

"Not you too, Mother!" Castle exclaimed. When Martha shrugged, he mirrored the motion. "We've talked. There are a few contenders, you know. Just getting it down to a first and middle name is tough. There's someone we want to honor with it, but we haven't figured out where to put that name."

"And who would this person be?"

Castle stood, shaking his head. "No way. Kate swore me to secrecy on the actual names and I am not brave enough to cross her." He leaned down to kiss his mother's forehead. "Plus, I'm still rooting for an author reference, so nothing is definite yet. Good night, Mother."

"Good night, Richard."

He undressed, throwing his clothes in the same pile as Kate's work clothes, and slid into bed behind her. She was snoring quietly, something she claimed she never did. As he wrapped his arm around her and tugged her back against him, she let out a little sigh and cuddled deeper into his hold.

And just like that, Richard Castle was home.

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><p><em>AN: So, did we enjoy Kate's baby shower? Not a whole lot of action was shown - I didn't want it to drag too much - but I think it was sweet. Plus I'm a sucker for Papa Beckett! Anyone else curious to find out what is in Johanna's box that she left for Kate? And still no definitive name for Castle 3.0 - any guesses with Castle's new information?_

_Review - it gives me something to smile at and I truly appreciate every single one._


	17. Chapter Seventeen

_A/N: I wanted to get this one out before this weekend descends upon me. I've got tour guide training tomorrow from 10 to 4, then homework all night. My mom is coming down to the area for a half marathon and is then taking me shopping. Then we have Monday, which is important for obvious reasons. (Remember when we had 100+ days until the 19th? It's just around the corner now - we can do this!)_

**_Disclaimer: Andrew Marlowe and crew knows what is going to happen Monday. I don't._**

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><p>The red lights from the clock proclaimed it as 11:26am when Kate finally opened her eyes. Panic set in immediately; she was supposed to be in the precinct by 9am. But there was a bright orange Post-It note stuck to the bottom of the alarm clock with Castle's neat handwriting stating "It's Thursday. Go back to bed."<p>

Kate smiled and rolled over. She couldn't go back to sleep, not with the hints of sunshine peeking under the shades. Instead, she stared at the ceiling and rubbing soothing circles over her stomach. The baby was always less active in the morning. She glanced down and realized she was still wearing the red dress from the night before. She knew it would be wrinkled, that the sooner she got it off and on a hanger, the less damage would be done.

She scooted herself off the bed, pulling the hem of the dress over her head and hanging it on the hanger Lanie had hooked over the closet door.

"Hey, pretty woman."

Kate jumped, a hand pressed to her chest as she turned around. "Unless you want this child born a month early, you'll stop scaring me like that."

He leaned against the doorframe, the iPad under his crossed arms. "Then you need to keep more clothes on."

She quirked her head to the side as she turned to go into the bathroom. When he took a step in the same direction, tossing the iPad onto the bed, Kate held out a single finger to stop him. "I don't need company during my shower, Castle."

"But I'm going to give you company anyway."

"No, you aren't." Kate shut the door on his face.

He rested his forehead against the wood. "But what if you go into labor in the shower?"

"If such an event were to occur, I'd call for you." The water turned on. "Until then, go write or something."

It was almost an hour later when Kate finally stepped out of the steamed-up bathroom, clipping her hair up into a twist. The James Bond theme was playing in the office, so she assumed Castle had decided to ditch being productive for mopping around after she denied him a shower with her. From the dialogue, she could tell that he was a little further than halfway through "Die Another Day" which gave her plenty of time.

In a pair of yoga pants and a loose top, Kate sat on the bed, folding her legs under her. She picked up the box from the bedside table, running her hand over the top. The light wood had a darker wood inlay, creating a border of Celtic knots. She swallowed as her fingers played with the lock. The last person to look in this was her mother. Did it ruin the magic if she opened it?

"Foolish," she mumbled to herself, flipping the lock up and opening the box.

It was lined with dark green felt, the hardware as antique as the lock was. She ran a finger over the edge of the box, so smoothed down that she didn't worry about splinters. Kate placed the box on the bed in front of her and started to shift through the items inside.

First was an envelope with Johanna's sloping cursive spelling out "Katie."

She set it aside to read later. Below that was a little bottle of Advil with a Post-It note stuck to the side. _You'll need these. Babies can cry a lot and a headache usually springs up right behind your eyes – they're the most painful._

Next to the painkillers was a key, still shiny, with a red ribbon tied through the hole at the end, a note attached to it. _This is for my grandchild to get them started out. Don't let them spend it all at once._ There was a familiar address under the note, the address of the bank where Kate still had an account. Her mother had set up a bank account for the grandchild she'd never get a chance to meet. Kate rubbed a thumb over the teeth of the key, tears pricking at the back of her eyes.

But she took a breath and set the key next to the Advil and the unopened letter. At the bottom of the box were three similarly shaped items. The first was a worn copy of _One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish_ by Dr. Seuss. Kate flipped the cover open and saw her own five-year-old handwriting on the title page declaring it "Kate's" with the "e" and "s" facing the wrong way, the blue crayon smeared from years of turning the pages.

Below it was an empty picture frame, the silver frame still holding the sample photo. Under the glass was a slip of paper reading _Fill this with memories – pictures last generations._

The next frame, however, wasn't empty. Even though it was a single frame, Johanna had obviously decided to throw as many photographs into the space as possible. Kate saw a wedding picture of her mother and father, one of Jim holding newborn Kate as he sat next to Johanna's side. There were photos of Kate growing up, hanging onto Johanna's fingers as she took her first steps, or sitting in a high chair with Cheerios on the table in front of her. A family picture that looked like it was taken in a studio, a toddler Kate snuggled between Jim and Johanna. A two or three year old Kate on Jim's shoulders, feeding a giraffe at the Bronx Zoo. Johanna and Kate in matching summer dresses at the beach, sitting around a beautifully crafted sandcastle. There were old Christmas photos, pictures from birthday parties and tearful farewells on the first day of school or summer camp.

One of her hands smoothed over the glass covering her mother's face as she smiled up, the other wiped tears off Kate's cheek. "I miss you, Mom. A little more every day."

The frame still resting on her knee, Kate picked up the envelope and turned it over, opening the unsealed flap slowly. The letter consisted of a single page, covered with the neat handwriting of a lawyer that spent her days writing briefs and case summaries.

_Katie darling-_

_You're out on your first date right now. That nice boy from your American Literature class finally got the guts to ask you out. Off you go to see some romantic comedy at the movie theatre down the street. Your father nearly made the poor boy faint while you finished putting on your make-up._

_Anyway, if you're reading this, it means you've found the one. And it won't be the boy you are probably holding hands with right now. No, The One usually comes much later in life – I know it did for me. And I'm so happy for you and The One._

_This box was given to me by my mother as a wedding gift. I'm using it to fill with things for my grandchild, items that I wish I had or things that I believe you'll want to hold onto. Your father thinks this is silly, but that's another thing about men – they are very often wrong. Don't let The One know that you are smarter than him, because you are, Katie. You are so smart. Top of the class, though you'd never admit it. You're going to do big things in the world._

_Your father is sitting in the living room with his pistol, waiting for you to get home with that cute boy. I'm going to go disarm him and drag him to bed. Always remember that you are strong and beautiful and smart and funny, my Katherine. And I know that my grandchild will be the same way – children only ever inherit the good genes from their parents and I can sense that The One will be just as strong and handsome and intelligent and witty as you are._

_I love you,_

_Mom_

"Kate are you alri-" Castle trailed off as he ran into the bedroom, the remote to the projector still clenched in his hand.

She looked up and could hardly see him through the tears. But the smile on her face lit up the room brighter than the sun. "I'm fine. Perfectly fine." With hands that shook just the tiniest bit, she folded the letter and tucked it back into the envelope.

He dropped the remote on the armoire, sitting next to her so she could lean against his side. "You opened the box?" He was trying not to look at the few items spread out on the comforter, unsure whether Kate wanted to share the contents or keep them between her and her mother.

"Yeah. Look," she said, handing him the filled picture frame. "She made a collage. I had copies of most of those, but after my apartment was blown up, they were gone. It's like she knew." Kate handed him the empty frame next. "She wants us to put our own photos in here. So we can pass it onto our children."

Castle spotted the book and picked it up, turning it over in his hands. "Dr. Seuss?"

"My favorite author at age five. We're going to have to work this one up to your collection."

She earned herself a little shoulder shove. "Oh, I don't know. You're smart, I'm smart. Only stands to reason that our child will be brilliant. Might just start him right in on Edgar Allan Poe."

With her mother's words ringing in her ears, Kate smiled. "Of course he will be. Though let's not start off with 'Annabel Lee,' okay?"

"Fair enough. And the key?" he asked, picking it up by the ribbon.

"To a bank account. She did the same thing for me when I was a baby. I still have it." Kate shifted off the bed, pulling Castle with her using her pinky. "Can I join you for the rest of James Bond?" When his eyes lingered on the letter, Kate shook her head and he nodded.

"Finished 'Die Another Day.' You have a preference for another?"

They walked back into the office together. The end credits were rolling, but muted. "I always did like 'The World Is Not Enough.' Cue it up!" she proclaimed, sitting on the couch and crossing her feet on the coffee table. "And I'd like some chocolate ice cream while you're up."

"Oh so very demanding!"

Once they had settled on the couch and Kate had opened the ice cream, she leaned over and gave him a kiss. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Everything. The real question is, what did _I_ do to deserve _you_?"

Their kiss was hinted with chocolate. "I think you answered your own question, Castle," Kate replied against his lips. "Now can I drool over Pierce Brosnan, please?"

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><p><em>AN: There are the contents of Johanna's box to Kate. Underwhelmed? Review and let me know. Did you cry while reading Johanna's letter to Kate? Review and let me know. Have thoughts on James Bond, specifically Pierce Brosnan? Review so we can drool over him together._

_Next chapter is going to be intense. I can just tell you that now, based on what Kate is telling me. Still no word on a definite name, though Castle tells me they are getting close. Hopefully they'll have one picked out before Castle 3.0 makes his first appearance!_

_I've also got a few more story ideas flying around my brain, so keep an eye out for those. One is another fluffball of a story, the other is my first attempt at a case-fic. Whether they make it into the light of day depends on my college workload, which has proven to be intense even for a professional English major. Stay tuned and I'll keep posting chapters and stories when they're done!_

_Until then, readers, review! It makes my day go by faster and very often leaves me smiling which causes my roommates to question my sanity. And wouldn't you love to be the reason for that? (The correct answer is: YES!)_


	18. Chapter Eighteen

_A/N: We did it, Detectives! We survive the hiatus! And Andrew Marlowe and crew certainly did not let me down in any possible way with "Rise." That being said, I know in an earlier chapter, I mentioned that Kate's scar from the shooting was on her chest. From what we saw last night, we now know that they operated through her side which would make my portrayal completely inaccurate. I'm not changing it - I wrote the scene before "Rise" and it's staying that way. However, from now on, I'll try to make everything fit with canon to the best of my ability._

**_Disclaimer: I could never have come up with the genius that was last night's premiere. (Maybe in a few years time when I have more original writing under my belt)._**

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><p>"God, I can't believe I have another month of this."<p>

They were in the break room getting coffee. Kate had leaned against the counter, her hands behind her, bracing on the surface as Castle poured the coffee. He glanced over and had to agree with her statement. Compared to the lean woman he had known for years, the one standing next to him could have been a different person completely. While eight months pregnant looked gorgeous on her, he could tell Kate had obviously had enough of this. She wanted her body back, the ability to see her feet once more, and her son in her arms.

He handed her the mug with a smile. "Just think of how far we've come. Can't give up after eight months, can we?"

"Says the man who has maintained his figure while I ballooned out like some sort of whale."

"But a very cute whale."

Kate's hand tightened on the mug's handle, her teeth clenching together. She didn't move for a minute, then everything in her body loosened. When she looked up, she found Castle staring at her. "What?"

"What was that?"

Shaking her head, she headed toward the bullpen. "Nothing."

His arm shot out, blocking her path. "That was not nothing, Kate."

"Yes, it was. Now move your arm." She couldn't duck under it anymore, so she just glared. He didn't budge an inch. "Castle, move!"

He did, but it was to force her back further into the break room. "You aren't leaving until you tell me what that-" Her free hand whipped out, grabbing his forearm with enough force to leave bruises. "Kate, this isn't nothing. You're in labor!"

Kate spoke through her teeth, her eyes focused on a spot on the ground. "I can't be! He still has another three weeks!"

"Babies come when they want to. You need to get to the hospital. Like, now!"

She left the mug on one of the tables and started walking toward the bullpen. Castle scurried after her, waving his hands like a worried mother hen. When Ryan and Esposito turned to watch, Kate smiled.

"I'm headed to the hospital. Apparently I'm in labor, according to Dr. Castle here, so I'll take some personal hours right now. Let O'Connor know?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," said Ryan with a shrug.

"Have fun?" Esposito added as Kate waved back at him from her path to the elevator.

Castle hailed a cab outside the precinct, cursing when one didn't pull up to the curb quick enough. Kate slid in first, giving the driver the address of the hospital calmly. She found one of her hands squeezed tightly in one of Castle's as he rocked back and forth slightly.

"Were you this bad with Meredith and Alexis?" Kate asked with a quirked brow.

"Maybe. No. Yeah. I can't remember. Could you drive a little faster? My wife's having a baby in your backseat!" The driver just gestured to the line of traffic in front of them and shook his head. Castle muttered, "Should have taken your car. That has the gumball at least."

"Would you calm down, Castle?" Kate said, leaning her side against his. "They're hardly noticeable now."

He didn't sit still for the entire ride. There were comments made to the cabbie, comments made about the baby, about Kate, about himself. Castle was just rambling on, becoming a physical embodiment of 'nervous.' He almost dragged her from the backseat after paying the fare, pulling her toward the ER doors.

"Woah! Slow down here, Castle!" Kate exclaimed as he yanked her across a crosswalk without looking. It was their good fortune that no cars were going by as she stumbled behind him. "I can only move so quickly."

"I'll carry you," he called back, not slowing down.

Kate pulled her hand from his, stopping on the sidewalk outside the ER. Castle continued for a few steps, then realized he had lost her. "What're you doing?" she asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Getting you to a doctor. Come on!" he said, waving a hand toward the automatic doors.

"No. I'll go in when I want."

The last word wasn't out of her mouth before he has scooped her up and carried her to the doors. "Put me down, Castle! Now! You're going to hurt someone and that someone will probably end up being yourself."

His voice was even when he approached the intake desk. "My wife's in labor."

The nurse that was reading at the desk looked up, glancing from Castle's face to Kate's scowl and back. "Really?"

"Yes! You going do something about it or just sit there?"

Kate mouthed "I'm sorry" to the nurse as the woman placed a bookmark in her novel and turned to the computer.

"Name?"

Kate heard him ramble off her name and information as she looked around the waiting room. Everyone was staring at them, so she gave them all a little wave from Castle's arms accompanied by a smile. It wasn't every day that a famous author ran in with his cop wife in his arms and yelled at the receptionist.

Five minutes later, she was stuck in a hospital bed like the one she had spent weeks in after her shooting, examining the similar paintings in the room, the familiar wallpaper, and watching Castle fidget in the chair next to the bed.

"Seriously, Castle. Stop." His hands, which had been twisting together, stilled. "I haven't had a contraction since we left the precinct. It was a false alarm."

His eyes were fiercely blue when they turned up to her. "You don't know that! You're a cop, Kate, not a doctor. Let the professionals say whether this is a false alarm or not."

"No, she's right." The voice was disembodied until Dr. Jansen rounded the curtain. "False alarm." He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing Kate's leg as he flipped through the charts. "They're called Braxton Hicks contractions. Completely harmless. Sort of like a practice run for your body. You said they stopped once you started moving?"

"Yeah. Once Nervous Nelly there started dragging me across the city to get here." Castle glared, but his thumb rubbing her wedding band was gentle.

The doctor nodded. "Makes sense. Sometimes just moving from one position to another is enough to stop them. Just take it easy for the next few weeks and come back when they're the real thing."

"And how is she supposed to know what the real things feel like?" Castle asked, a hint of annoyance laced through his voice.

Dr. Jansen smiled at Kate first, then at Castle. "Trust me, Mr. Castle. She'll know when it's the real thing. It's something those women just know. My wife was the same way. Knew exactly when to rally and when to tell me to take a chill pill. Just go with whatever she says."

"But he's okay?" Castle asked, moving his hand from her wedding band to her stomach, his fingers pressing lightly and getting a kick in return.

The doctor nodded. "Perfect. Have a good day, you two."

"Thank you," Kate said. She swung her legs off the bed, hefting herself onto her feet. "Can we go back to the precinct now?"

They walked to the elevator to take it to the ground floor, his hand on her lower back; she sensed he just needed the contact. When the doors opened, the elevator was empty. Kate leaned against the wall as Castle hit the right button.

She suddenly found herself pressed against the fake wood paneling as Castle kissed her. The emotions were more than love; fear and relief swirled through the motion as he caught her when her knees gave out. His hands tangled in her hair, pulling her face closer. Out of air, he pulled back, resting his forehead on hers.

"Kate…"

Her hand brushed his cheek, rubbing over his earlobe before going to rest on his shoulder. "I know, Castle. But it's okay. Now we know how _not_ to act in a month, right?"

They didn't go back to the precinct. Kate called the boys to let them know they wouldn't be welcoming their next nephew into the family quite yet, but that she wouldn't be back to the precinct that day. Castle declared that they were going home.

Inside the loft, he tossed her purse onto the sidetable, took her jacket and scarf, and let her hold his shoulder as she toed her shoes off. "Go get undressed, Kate."

"Wow, no foreplay with you, is there?" she replied with a wink, heading to the bedroom. He was at her heels, linking his fingers with hers.

"No. You're getting a bath, not any funny business. We need to relax."

"Correction: You need to relax. I'm good." She placed her shirt and pants in the laundry basket before going to the bathroom. She perched on the side of the tub, watching Castle test the water coming from the tap before letting it fill the tub.

They slipped in together, their legs tangling as Kate sat in between Castle's legs, her back to his chest. His fingers drew lazy circles on the curve of her belly, the warmth of the water soaking away the stress.

"I'm sorry about earlier."

Her head was resting against his shoulder, her hair pulled into a messy bun to keep it dry. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "No need to apologize."

"No, I do. It was an over-reaction, even for me. I promise when the moment comes, the real moment, I won't act like that."

"I want you to." Their eyes met when she turned her head. "It was sweet, once I got past the shock of you carrying me into the emergency room. I expect things like that from you, Castle. Don't go scaring me by not acting the way you're supposed to."

He broke the eye contact, looking down at the part of her stomach that peeked above the water. "I know. But I'm supposed to be good at this. I've done it once before. I should be reassuring you, telling you to calm down. You have everything so collected."

"You think I'm collected?" Kate pushed away from him, sitting across the tub, tilting her head forward and smiling. "If you could see what's going on in my brain, I'd make you look like the most serene person in the world and that's saying something. Castle, I'm scared out of my mind. Terrified. Probably the most frightened I've ever been in my life. I mean, what if I'm a horrible mother? What if I can't live up to Mom's expectations or your expectations or I let him down?"

"Kate." His quiet voice made her look up. "You couldn't let anyone down. Not even if you tried. You are going to be a fantastic mother. The very fact that you're worried is the reason you'll be so perfect. Once he's out in the world, you'll find you know exactly what to do. And when you don't, I'll be right there. Whenever you need me."

She nudged his thigh with her toe. "How do you know exactly what to say?"

"Talent of mine. What can I say?" he grinned with a little shrug of his shoulders. "I'm glad tomorrow's Thursday, though. I'm taking you somewhere."

"Where?"

He leaned forward, kissing her nose. "My secret. Stay tuned to find out the location. I will, however, inform you that dress will be semi-formal."

"I don't have any more semi-formal maternity dresses!" Kate exclaimed, giving her foot a little kick and sending droplets of water into the air between them.

"Then you need to go shopping with Lanie before tomorrow night. Your last girls day before he comes."

"Fair enough," she conceded. She snuggled back into his arms, looking up at him from his chest. "I sort of love you, you know."

He kissed her forehead. "I sort of love you right back."

"You know we've turned into that sappy couple that everyone hates."

"But they only hate that sappy couple before they become a member of their own sappy couple," Castle reasoned.

"Then I'm happy to be half of our sappy couple."

"I'm happy to have you as the other half of my sappy couple, Kate."

They stayed like that until the water got cold, then just moved to the bed. Kate fell asleep with her head on Castle's shoulder, his arms wrapped around her under the blankets.

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><p><em>AN: Did anyone panic? Poor Castle, over-reacting... And hey! Another Kate/Lanie moment coming up followed by the big reveal of Castle's secret. What else will be revealed at this location? Tune in whenever Logan finds the time to write for fun again to find out!_

_Until that time, review away! I seriously adore them and everyone that take the time to drop some words into my reviews. I've been having a blast writing this and my other stories this summer and the reviews let me know that people actually care about them. I promise I'm going to do my best to keep writing despite the insane amount of college work already tossed at me after two weeks of classes. Just might be a bit slower posting, but the chapters will continue coming!_


	19. Chapter Nineteen

_A/N: My body now knows how to run on 5 hours of sleep. This is a skill I am proud and a little afraid of. But such is my life this semester. Hopefully I'll be able to use this newfound ability at some point later in life. In other news, All My Secrets made a list for the first time! the-12th-precinct on tumblr made a list of fanfiction recommendations the other day and AMS was included! I fangirled all over the place when I saw that; see what you readers do to me? But go check out their post and read some of the other _fanfiction_ as well - they're all fantastic and everyone who writes them puts a crazy amount of heart and soul into them._

**_Disclaimer: The only people who belong to me here are Ian and Zelda O'Malley - go meet them for the first time in Just Coffee. The rest are of Andrew Marlowe's creation._**

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><p>"You gonna fit in my backseat?"<p>

Kate tried to glare at the cabbie as she shifted across the seats. But she couldn't blame him since she found herself sitting almost sideways as she buckled the seatbelt. "I'm good," she added before giving him Lanie's address.

She had slept in later than usual, showered, and left Castle at the keyboard. She had refused his credit card, something that they continued to argue over. Kate hated feeling like she was mooching off his success, Castle hated that she didn't feel secure enough to use 'their money.' Their fight this morning, the silver card lying on Castle's desk, had been short. Kate told him he could treat for dinner if he let her use her own paycheck for her girls day with Lanie.

"Hey, lady!" The cabbie was facing the backseat, his hand braced on the passenger seat headrest. "You gonna get out?"

Kate smiled apologetically. "Sorry." She slipped the fare through the barrier. "Have a good day."

Lanie's building didn't have a doorman, so Kate hit the buzzer for her friend's apartment.

"Hello?" came the static voice.

Kate pressed the button again. "Want to let me in or are you meeting me down here?"

"Who is it, chica?" was heard in the background, followed by "Quiet, Javi! I'll be right down, Kate."

She leaned against the brick, checking her hair for dead ends until Lanie pushed the door to the building open. When Kate pushed away from the side of the building and matched her friend's steps, she shifted her eyes over to catch Lanie's. "So, afraid I'll embarrass you in front of 'Javi?'"

Lanie gave Kate a firm but gentle shove on her shoulder and started walking toward the coffee shop. "No. More afraid that Javier would be embarrassed in front of you. Sleeps in the nude, you know."

"God, Lanie! I cannot know that!" Kate whined, tugging at the ends of her scarf. "How can I look at him the same way now?"

The line in Starbucks was long considering it wasn't rush hour. Kate had tried the no-caffeine-during-pregnancy thing and had ended up with massive headaches from the withdrawals. Figuring that many a healthy baby had been born from women who drank so much coffee that the brown liquid had replaced their blood, Kate continued with her lattes. Lanie's hot chocolate was flavored with peppermint, a combo Kate appreciated as a York Peppermint Patty but not as a drink.

"So, what was so important that you required my company today?" Lanie asked as they claimed a seat inside the café. April still had a bit of a chill running through it, so the women were happier inside the heated building than wandering the streets. "Must have been pretty important for the late night text I received. Javi and I were just getting-"

"I need a dress," Kate said quickly, cutting Lanie off from further scarring her brain. When Lanie just sipped the hot chocolate, Kate took it as a sign to explain. "Castle wants to bring me somewhere tonight. Won't tell me where, but attire has to be semi-formal. Since I wore my last semi-formal dress at the shower and even that doesn't fit anymore, I needed to go shopping. I thought you'd want to come, but that was before you decided to make it your mission to destroy my working relationship with your boyfriend."

"You want me to bring you shopping?" The cup slammed down a bit too hard and hot chocolate splattered up and onto the cuffs of both their jackets. Kate grabbed napkins and began blotting at the spots on the tan leather of her jacket, tossing a handful of napkins at Lanie's face. The medical examiner was still staring when Kate looked up slowly from her cuff. "Katherine Beckett, I thought you'd never ask!"

Kate mumbled, "You're sort of making me regret the decision now, but…"

"We need to go!" Lanie squealed, snatching up her hot chocolate in one hand and Kate's arm in the other. "So much to do, so little time!"

The boutiques they hit up were small and pricey, but Kate knew from years of not looking at price tags that you paid for what you got. And if this was going to be her and Castle's last date before their child appeared, she wanted to make an impression. She rejected some of the choices while they hung on the hangers. Others, including the neon green one from Lanie, got a scowl in the three-way mirror.

Kate was about to give up, walking out of the dressing room with her arm looped through Lanie's, when it caught her eye. Large grey flowers were printed onto midnight blue. Kate stopped Lanie in front of it, chewing her lower lip as she studied the dress. "Let's do this one last one," she said with a grin, pulling Lanie back toward the dressing rooms.

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><p>Kate raised a brow at his reaction. She had kicked him out of the bedroom so she could get ready without him seeing. But she had wanted something more out of one of the most dramatic people she knew when she stepped through the office and into the living room. Instead, Castle was blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes, closing them and opening them again.<p>

"What are you doing?"

He took a step forward, his hands resting under her elbows as he pulled her as close to him as possible. "Making sure you were real. That my eyes weren't playing tricks on me." Their lips met softly, just a peck, their smiles doing most of the talking.

Kate tugged out of his arms, causing him to frown. "I don't want to mess up my make-up! Now sweep me away before I change my mind."

"There's just one thing," he said, his words stopping her as she walked over to get her light jacket. When Kate turned around, Castle was holding a bandana, one commonly found a Girl Scout camps with paisley swirls on it.

"Oh, no…" she protested, holding her hands up as he advanced.

"Come on, Kate. You trust me." His eyes looked as though they belonged to a puppy, a little golden retriever who just wanted another piece of human food from the dinner table. "I just- I just want it to be a surprise, okay?" When she sighed, throwing her hands up and spinning around, she could almost hear him smile. "Plus, it matches you already."

Her vision now covered in dark blue cotton, Kate felt out Castle's face and took it between her hands. His cheeks were smooth, a sign he had shaved, and her fingertips grazed his ears as she pulled him down to her level. "You don't let me fall, Castle. Hear me?"

"I'd never let you fall." When she visibly relaxed, her shoulders dropping, he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Might hurt the baby."

"Richard Edgar Castle!" Kate yelled, a hand moving to pull the blindfold off.

He grabbed her hand before it reached her face. "It was a joke, Kate. I won't let you trip or anything. Promise." An arm around her back guided her to the door, down the hall to the elevator, through the lobby past the night doorman, and to the car he had waiting.

During the ride to the location, he made sure she was tucked against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. He was fairly certain, given the speed of her breathing, that she was napping. She deserved it. He always felt like the man had the best of the whole pregnancy deal. A night of pleasure followed by nine months of not worrying about morning sickness or mood swings or carrying that extra little person in front of them. In these eight months, Castle had realized that the exhaustion he felt while writing was nothing akin to the exhaustion Kate was feeling. She wanted to sleep on the ride to dinner? It was fine with him.

But when the car pulled up to the curb, he had to shake her awake. "Kate, we're here."

Her voice was thick with sleep as she pushed away from his shoulder. "Where?"

"Still a secret. But we're almost to the big reveal." He got out first, walking around the back of the car to open her door, taking her hand in his and giving it a gentle tug. "Out we go. Careful of the curb," he warned, lifting her hand so she would step up. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "Stay here."

Then the warmth on her body was gone. "Where's 'here' exactly?" she called out. No answer. Starting to feel a little frightened, Kate toyed with the idea of lifting the blindfold and peeking out for a hint at her surroundings. But that would ruin Castle's glee at surprising her, so she just stood there, waiting.

"Back!" He caught her as she jumped, his voice appearing out of nowhere. "Easy there, Kate. This way," he said, guiding her with a hand on her lower back in a direction. As they walked, he brushed his lips against her ear. "Did I tell you how gorgeous you look?"

She smiled. "Not today, no. Remind me."

"Later, when we're alone. Right now I have other plans."

The smell of coffee hit her instantly. She knew they were inside from the change in the ground beneath her flats from asphalt to wood. Whispering was coming from her right, followed by a giggle and a "shhh."

Castle took a step forward, Kate dug her heels in. "What's wrong?"

"You brought me back to the coffee shop?" she commented, finally giving in and taking the bandana off. Over against the bar, Ian and Zelda O'Malley waved. "Could you get cheesier?"

He gave a shy smile, his eyes twinkling. "No, but Kraft could. They've got Cheddar Blast mac-and-cheese now and I've heard it's pretty cheesy."

Kate had to laugh, the sound brightening the room instantly as she walked to the corner table. Their table. He scooted around behind her to pull the chair out.

"I believe congratulations are in order?" asked Ian from the bar, his arm around Zelda's slight frame as they sat on the stools.

"Congratulate me when he's in my arms, okay?" Kate called back with a smile. "Until then, coffee." Once their audience had scooted around the bar to get the drinks, she turned her eyes back to Castle. "You made me dress up for this?"

"I dressed up too!" he protested, holding his arms out to the side. He had indeed upped his typical wardrobe. He wore black pants, a tailored, dark blue suit jacket over a crisp white shirt, the top buttons undone to show the base of his neck. She could see the cufflinks that Alexis had bought him as a wedding present catching even the soft light of the café when his hands moved.

"You're right. But I had to go buy this."

He laid his hand atop hers on the table, a steady and gentle pressure. "But you got to spend time with Lanie. And you get to let me peel you out of that dress after this."

She shushed him when Ian and Zelda came over with the coffee and a plate of tiny sandwiches, a teasing smile still on her face while they thanked the owners. Kate picked up one that looked like turkey and took a bite of the corner.

When she felt him staring and not moving, she raised her eyes to look at him. "What?"

"Can we talk about names?"

Kate took another bite of the sandwich, her face all determination. "I thought we had said we'd decide once we saw him."

"We have seen him." He leaned forward, resting on his forearms. "Ultrasounds."

"Which do not count," Kate countered. Castle's face fell. She placed the sandwich on the plate in front of her, taking his hand on the table and waiting until his eyes met hers before she spoke. "I want you holding him when we name him, okay? I want him all wrapped up in one of those stereotypical blue hospital blankets, that silly little cap on his head. I want his feet still stained with the ink they used to take his footprints. I want to look like a mess in yet another hospital bed. I want you squeezed into the bed next to me with our son between us when we give him his name. Can we do that?"

For the first time in a while, Kate had the pleasure of watching his eyes sparkle with something other than his clever wit. This time they were accented with tears. She smiled and leaned forward, careful not to knock over the mug of coffee that had been forgotten, her lips inches from his. "Are you crying, Mr. Castle? I thought mystery writers never cried." Her eyes flicked from his eyes down to his lips, then back up.

He didn't hesitate. In a swift motion, he pressed his lips to hers and watched her eyes flutter shut. Even after two years of kisses, each one still felt like the first. Her heart raced, his hands got sweaty. Kate shifted her head to the side, changing the angle just as his tongue darted out to taste her lips.

"Ouch!" she squealed, pulling back from the kiss. Castle looked hurt and confused, blinking at her. Kate was too busy glaring at her stomach to see the expression. "Listen, buster. In a month you can interrupt Mom and Dad when they're being gross, but until then, I'm still in charge. And kicking is a bad habit that we'll have to break you of." Finally, she looked up with a firm nod and paused midway through the motion. "At the risk of repeating myself, what?"

Castle cupped the back of her head, bringing her lips back to his. "You called us Mom and Dad."

"Isn't that what we're going to be?" she asked, all seriousness. She took a sip of her coffee, her brows drawn together at his confusion.

He sat back, twisting his wedding ring around on his finger. "Yeah. It's just… nice to hear it coming from you."

They ate in silence. Castle kept gazing at her, a smile gracing his face. Kate slipped her flats off and was running her toes up his shin. Halfway through their date, a few more people came in after giving the secret knock the coffee shop required for entrance. Zelda steered them away from Kate and Castle's table, leaving them in a corner of quiet.

The sandwiches were devoured, the coffee sipped on until they were left with empty mugs. But they sat there, saying a few words about the precinct and the new lieutenant. About the boys and how they would react to their nephew in a month. Kate brought up her father and how excited he was to finally answer to 'Papa.'

Slowly, Castle and Kate made their way to the door where Ian and Zelda met them.

"You come back here with the little one as soon as you can," Zelda said, patting Kate's arm. "They're going to be a coffee connoisseur with the amount you two drink!"

"Zeld," admonished Ian quietly.

Castle grinned, tweaking Zelda's nose playfully. "No, it's true. Have a good night, you two."

Ian held the door open for them as they stepped out into the little alleyway that held the hidden jewel. "And you both."

Castle knew that the tall man would watch to make sure he and Kate got into the car safely before closing the door to the coffee speakeasy. The car was warm, taking off the chill of the evening.

"I assume you don't want to go out dancing?" he asked the head of hair that had snuggled against his shoulder. It shook quickly before burrowing deeper into the fabric of his jacket. "Home we go then, Hunter."

The loft was dark. Alexis must have gone to bed early – Castle knew she had a final exam the next morning and she preferred to be full rested instead of cramming until the morning. Kate was falling asleep against his side, so he guided her toward the bedroom, sitting her on the bed.

She smiled, trying to keep her eyes open as he knelt to slip the flats off her feet, tossing them into the closet. She let him tug her to her feet, reaching her hands behind her neck to unzip the dress until he took over and she stepped out of the circle of fabric. With a sigh, she plopped back onto the bed in her underwear.

He was staring again. "You're so beautiful, Kate."

"That's sweet, but I look like a cow."

Castle had hung his jacket and shirt as she spoke. As he carefully folded the pants along the creases so they wouldn't have to be dry-cleaned again, he shook his head. "Kate, come here."

They walked into the bathroom together. Kate reached for her toothbrush, avoiding her reflection. Castle took her wrist, pulling the toothbrush from her mouth. "Look," he said, giving a head nod toward the mirror. "What do you see?"

"Castle, I'm tired."

"Which doesn't usually affect one's vision. What do you see?"

"You. Me."

He pressed a kiss to her temple. "And you are gorgeous. From your head to your toes and every thing in between."

"But my scars-"

"Show your history, your past. They're what make you beautiful, Kate. Someone without scars hasn't truly lived. They haven't taken chances or made mistakes." He let go of her wrist, making sure she had a grip on the toothbrush before letting go completely. "And as far as this," he said, circling her waist and letting his fingertips brush each other on her stomach, "is concerned, I don't care if you look like a supermodel or a cow. It's what is inside which counts. The fact that our son is inside you just makes that more poignant."

Kate let her head rest on his chest, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Why can't you just let me wallow in self-pity?"

"Because I love you too much. Now let's brush our teeth so we can get to bed. Hard day of paperwork tomorrow, I'm sure."

"Oh, definitely. Wouldn't want you too tired to fill out forms, would we?" she said cheekily, replacing the toothbrush in her mouth.

Their eyes met through the mirror and they didn't have to say the words – they just knew.

* * *

><p><em>AN: First off, how lovely is it that we don't have another four months until the next episode? I know - I'm pretty excited that my countdown is only 6 days at most. And how many times have you all watched "Rise" by now? (I'm onto six, though I'm watching it again with my little sister tonight when I go home for the weekend.)_

_Reviews will give me something to read on the two hour ride home. And something to read when I should be proving my writing professor wrong and making up a fantastic original mystery story (I'll show him yet!). I'll try to reply to all the reviews when I get a chance - I've had some great conversations with my readers and I love them for putting up with my rambling messages._


	20. Chapter Twenty

_A/N: Shut the front door! I'm at twenty chapters? My little kiss-in-the-rain one-shot turned pregnancy story has reached twenty chapters? This is so unreal. And it is really and truly thanks to you, my darling readers. If I didn't have your loving reviews and support, I would have never continued writing what was formerly known as Late and morphing it into All My Secrets._

_The best part? We're not even done. And I can't tell when we will be done because that is completely up to Castle 3.0. So, grab a latte and let's do some yoga!_

**_Disclaimer: I dream of becoming someone like Andrew Marlowe. Until I make it big, I'm just a poor college student trying to convince her writing professor that despite my pink cardigan and love of heeled boots, I can write mystery._**

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><p>"Kate, stop."<p>

She was standing in the kitchen wearing one of his large shirts that just barely covered her stomach, a peek of skin visible before the dark green hit the black of her leggings. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, the brown curls tumbling down her back out of her face. And she was brandishing a sponge.

"Why?" she asked, the halt in motion only lasting a few seconds before she was back to scrubbing down the already sparkling countertop.

Castle was sitting at the island, his laptop in front of him as he tried to write, but his wife's cleaning spree was distracting. "Because it's weird. You never clean this much at," he checked his watch and blinked in disbelief, "eight o'clock in the morning."

Kate tossed the sponge into the sink, running the water and washing her hands. "I can't help it, Castle! It's like something's taken over me."

"Ahh…" he sighed, nodding slowly. "That explains it."

She paused using the dish towel to dry her hands long enough to glance over. "What explains this sudden burst of domesticity?"

"It's called nesting." When she narrowed her eyes toward him, he leaned forward, closing his laptop. "Pregnant women do it. Getting the house ready for the baby."

"You'd think my hormones would realize this house has been ready since before he was thought of." She pushed the stray hairs that had escaped from the ponytail away from her face. "Did Meredith do this?"

His short laugh had a smile creeping onto her face. "Meredith? Touch cleaning supplies? No."

Kate walked around the island, sitting on the other stool. She crossed her arms on the counter and rested her head on her forearms. "But why? I'm too tired to keep cleaning but it's like something inside me is making me."

"What do you want to do next?"

She shifted her head so her cheek was pressed to arms and she could see his face on the same level as hers. "Alphabetize the bookshelves?"

"Then let's do it."

Two hours later, they sat on the floor of the living room surrounded by every book that had been on the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. They had tried to organize as they moved along the shelves, but gave up, pulling the novels and history books and textbooks from medical schools from the shelves and piling them in any free space in the living room.

Except Kate was no longer sorting the fiction from the nonfiction and Castle had stopped alphabetizing the books she handed him. She was sprawled on the couch, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manuel of Mental Disorders in her lap. And he had his back against the now-empty bookshelf, one of his early Derrick Storm books in his hands, and his quiet but firm voice filling the room as he read. He didn't need to actually look at the pages – he had most of his own words memorized.

He looked up from the book, the sentence flowing right into the question, "You paying attention?"

The answer was no. Mostly because her face buried into the Union Jack throw pillow she had brought from her old apartment, her hair falling out of the ponytail.

Castle stood, taking the DSM from his wife's lap and placing it in the nonfiction pile next to some anatomy books. "We'll finish this later, okay?" No response other than a little snort between her snores. "Okay."

He stepped around the piles of Fairstein and Mailer and Baldacci to grab his laptop before sitting in the leather chair kitty-corner to the couch. He had another chapter due to Black Pawn and hadn't really worked on it lately. Alexis would be back from class by noon. If he wrote until she came home, he could make lunch and count that as his break for the day. Maybe by that time Kate would be awake again and could join them.

The only sounds in the apartment for the next few hours were the clicking of the keys on the laptop and Kate's gentle snoring. There were a few times when Kate came close to falling off the couch, moments that had Castle jumping up to catch her, ignoring his laptop as it tumbled to the ground. But she never fell, always managing to settle back into the cushions with a little sigh.

Rook was watching Nikki nap after a tough case when Alexis opened the door. "Hey!" Castle made a shushing motion with his hands and Alexis's call quieted near the end. Alexis placed her schoolbag against the island. "She's sleeping? Again?"

"She spent the morning cleaning," he whispered, waving a hand at the still-present piles of books. "Plus she organized the cabinets and drawers in the kitchen and gave the counter an industrial-strength scrubbing."

Alexis propped her hip against his chair, looking at her step-mother. "She's going a little stir-crazy."

"A lot stir-crazy." Castle placed his laptop on the coffee table. "Listen, Alexis, I just want you to know that I won't ever love you any less than the new baby." When his daughter opened her mouth to protest, he shook his head. "I know you understand, but it needed to be said."

"I know, Dad. And I'm mostly excited and a little nervous. Being a big sister's an important role, you know." She leaned in, kissing his forehead before going to pick up her bookbag. "Plus, I know you'll enjoy having another boy in the apartment. Because that fish we had two years ago for a week doesn't really count."

"I still miss Xander, you know!" His daughter laughed as she went up the stairs. "I'm making lunch in a few. Pancakes. You in?"

"Definitely. Call me when they're done."

He was busy with heating the griddle and stirring the batter fifteen minutes later when he heard movement from the couch.

"Castle…?"

"Over here, Kate," he responded, waving the spatula. But she didn't answer, her head didn't pop up over the back of the couch. "Kate?" Just as he began to jog over, he saw her arms stretch out from the end of the couch.

Her voice was sleepy as she spoke. "You're making food."

"Lunch, to be precise."

He smiled when she sat up, her hair a mess from her nap, a crease from the pillow imprinted across her face. "Yum." Kate glanced around and saw the books. "What's going on?"

"You felt the need to alphabetize the entire collection. Then you took your nap, which is understandable considering the number of books we own added to the kitchen organizer you became this morning. We can start up again once you've had something to eat."

"Is Alexis home?" she asked, pushing herself up and stepping around the piles, tugging the shirt down over as much of her stomach as possible. "I didn't hear her come in."

"Getting a head start on her homework, I'm sure." The griddle sizzled when he poured the batter onto it. He leaned his hip against the counter as she sidled up to his side. "Or calling Ashley."

She watched as he flipped the pancake, the smell of a stereotypical breakfast wafting to her nose. "That's right. Their exams are this coming week and they couldn't meet up for the weekend. I don't know what we would have done if we had met at their age."

He leaned down, kissing her nose. "I'd have annoyed you to death and you would have brushed me away."

"Didn't that happen anyway?" she said with a smirk. "Flip the pancake or it'll burn." Kate stepped away, taking a large serving plate down along with three smaller ones. She jumped when his arms wrapped around her from behind.

"But I wormed by way back in, didn't I?"

She placed the plates on the counter, moving his hands down to rest on her stomach. "It appears that way. Seriously, though, that pancake is burning." Kate was right. When he moved the pancake from the griddle to the serving platter, one side was cooked perfectly while the other was burnt to a crisp. "That one is all yours, Castle."

"But you were distracting me!" he whined, pouring a second and third circle of batter onto the griddle. "It should be your pancake."

Kate gathered butter and maple syrup in one hand, silverware in the other. "Fine. I'll eat it."

He sighed, shaking his head. "No, you won't. Because you're right. I was the one that burnt it."

"Of course I'm right, Castle. How much longer do you have to live with women to figure out that we are always right?" Kate said with a grin, sitting back on the stools at the island and watching him flip the pancakes.

"See, little one?" Castle said, leaning over the griddle to talk directly to his wife's stomach. "This is why I need another guy in the house. All the estrogen I'm swimming in is getting to my head."

"Says the man that quotes Sex in the City."

"Shush you. I'm talking to my son." Kate rolled her eyes. "You had better gain my sense of humor, bud. I have enough sensible females."

Kate gave his face a gentle shove across the counter. "Pay attention to your pancakes, Castle."

* * *

><p>Kate was tossing and turning. Her back was killing her and the only way it stopped hurting was if she arched it up awkwardly. When she rolled over, her arms thrown out to wrap around Castle, she was met with an empty bed.<p>

And suddenly, she was sitting straight up. "Castle?"

"Shhh… I'm right here, Kate." His voice came from the corner of the bedroom along with the soft glow from his laptop. "Inspiration struck and wouldn't let me get back to sleep." Even in the dark, she could tell he had that sheepish grin on his face. When she sighed, falling back onto the bed just to groan and shift again, he snapped the laptop shut. "What's wrong?"

"My back." Staring at the ceiling, Kate rubbed her hands over her face. "Can you get one of the throw pillows from the couch?"

He jumped up, running into the living room to grab the Union Jack pillow she had buried her face in earlier. Instead of just tossing it to her, he sat next to her hip. She took the pillow and shoved it under her back. The pain dulled instantly and she sighed, a smile creeping onto her face.

"I'm good now, Castle. Go write."

"It's fine. I was at a stopping point anyway." When he stretched out next to her, she rested her head on the arm he placed around her shoulders. "Plus it's not like Nikki is suffering through the last weeks of a pregnancy, you know? I have priorities."

Kate laughed, rolling her head over to look at him. Years ago, the love that burned in his blue eyes would have scared her off. Now, even after a year of marriage, it gave her butterflies that fluttered from her stomach up to her throat and back again. She hoped that feeling would never leave. "I'm touched that I come before the fictional version of me."

"Katherine Beckett, I will always pick the nonfiction version of you before the fictional version. And you know that."

"I know. I just like hearing you say it."

"I never knew you to be so selfish!" he protested, but it was all for show. He leaned up on his elbow so his face hovered over hers. "But I don't mind. You are allowed to be as self-centered and selfish and self-serving as you like."

Her eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips, inches from hers. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

She gave him a peck on the lips, then a gentle shove off her. "Good. Because I want to go to bed." In the midst of his shock, she snuggled closer to him, making sure the throw pillow stayed under her back. "And I can't unless you're next to me."

"That's cheesy. You aren't normally cheesy."

Kate grinned at the disbelief in his voice. "Those pesky pregnancy hormones must be getting to me. Goodnight, Castle."

* * *

><p><em>AN: _So, how about last night's episode? The emotional range this show can make me feel is crazy. I literally chewed a coffee cup to pieces with "Rise." During "Heroes and Villains," I couldn't stop smiling and/or laughing. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it: this cast and crew are perfect. They give me a physical ache in my chest just thinking about them.__

__I actually have an alternate ending to this chapter and will be posting that on my tumblr as soon as I finish editing it - check for it tonight. My sidekick actually picked the ending through a torturous question via twitter - I believe it was along the lines of "You pick: do you want Castle gone or Kate gone? (Not sharing any more information.)" I'm surprised she didn't immediately come down to the States from Canada to interrogate me. See, Jenn? Nothing bad, just like I promised!__

__Now you all know what to do. This is Chapter Twenty - throw all the reviews you can manage at me. Twenty is a big number, you know. All My Secrets isn't a teenager anymore and it deserves a pretty big birthday present to celebrate.__


	21. Chapter Twenty One

_A/N: This week has been busy for me. Every day, I run on an average of five hours a night. And strangely enough, my body is used to this. Anyway... during this week, I had three reasons to flail pretty hard. First, I passed 250 reviews. Second, my writing professor told me I wrote better than James Patterson and Linda Fairstein, two of my favorite authors. High praise, in my book, despite it being only one man's opinion. Third, All My Secrets made a list for Must Reads on tumblr and Third Time's the Charm made the suggestion list. Let me re-phrase: All My Secrets was listed among such pieces as Of Finding Innocence, Letters to Kate, and The Plan. Higher praise does not exist in the Castle fandom, as far as I can tell._

_Let me just say thank you to my readers for making this story so successful. It's all because of you, you know. Without a reader, a story just exists. You make it come alive._

**_Disclaimer: Are the real writers currently poor college students? Maybe. But probably not..._**

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><p>April had finally warmed up. A bit. Kate had hoped that the concrete jungle that was New York City would bounce some of the sun's heat back up at her, but her luck wasn't exactly working in her favor lately.<p>

The due date that the doctor had handed her back around the end of her first trimester was today and, as far as she could tell, the baby currently hiccupping violently from within her was in no hurry to leave. She was doing her best to hide her fear. Just because he was late didn't mean there was trouble. Kate hoped that if she kept repeating that it would become truth.

"Babies are late all the time, Katherine Beckett. Calm down."

The pedestrians waiting with her at the crosswalk gave her strange looks. She stared back until someone spoke behind her.

"What, you've never seen a beautifully pregnant cop before?"

She knew that voice and the defensive sentence had her heart racing and a smile sneaking onto her face. The people behind her parted, a few with gaping mouths that meant they recognized him from his book jackets. Kate only reached back a hand and let Castle's slip into hers.

"To be fair, actually, you couldn't have known she was a cop." His lips brushed her ear as he whispered, "Hey there."

"You didn't have to do that," she muttered back. She felt eyes on them still and pulled her head away from his. "What, you've never seen a best-selling author before?" To her amusement, there were a few shaking heads in the group before the light changed.

They started across the street after the larger group moved forward. "What're you doing here anyway, Castle? I thought you had a meeting with Paula and Gina."

"I did. Rescheduled until next week." The sidewalk was crowded, but that was expected since it was Fifth Avenue. "You shouldn't be clothes shopping alone."

"Why? It's you who should be allowed to shop for him." Castle looked offended, a hand placed dramatically over his heart. "You know, Martha's right. Maybe you missed your calling. But if you were the sole shopper for him, he'd end up dressed as Batman for the ride home from the hospital."

"Batman? Please, have a little more faith in me." When Kate smiled, he added, "He'd be the Green Lantern. I'd have to make sure his costume matches his eyes." Kate punched his chest lightly.

Castle stepped ahead of her, holding the door to a little shop open for her. "Wait." She paused in front of him, poking a finger into his chest. "Green eyes? Not blue?"

He prodded her into the store so he could close the door. "Definitely green. Like his mother's."

"What if I want blue like his father?" she asked, walking backwards until he took her shoulders and physically turned her around. Her walking forward was becoming a problem as most of the weight settled on her stomach; he couldn't think of what might happen when she tried going backwards more than a few steps.

"I already have two family members with blue eyes. Time to even the score with some more green."

The store was just like she had pictured it to be from Jenny's description. The walls were the palest of blues, sponge-painted instead of brushed, leaving bits of the cream background peeking through. It was homey but didn't scream baby store. There were no stereotypical storks carrying bundles on the walls, no rattles or pacifiers or chubby, cartoony babies plastered around. Just a neatly divided store between clothes and nursery supplies.

"Where do we start?" Kate muttered, approaching this like an interrogation. Determine all possible paths and the consequences of each, play through other possibilities, come at the situation from all angles until you know the right one. In the middle of her thought process, Castle poked her side.

"Quit thinking. Grab a basket and let's get going!" He already had one of the shopping baskets hanging from his elbow, barely giving her a chance to grab her own before dragging her toward clothing.

Ten minutes later, they had more socks than would be necessary, at least half the pants in the store and just as many shirts. Castle was going for flashy. Kate stuck to onesies, venturing so far as to pick one that looked like a lion including a little hood that pulled up and looked like a mane.

Now they were fighting over the stroller.

"It just needs to be able to fold up, Castle! We don't need a rocket ship for him!"

"But Kate, it looks so cool!" he whined, petting the handle of one that looked like it would not only allow them to push the baby through Central Park, but also bake a cake and do a load of laundry at the same time.

Ignoring him, she tried to wiggle the box for her choice out of the pile. Kate found herself shoved aside, albeit gently, but shoved aside in any case. Castle hefted the box under his arm then faced her glare. "Kate, you're due today. The last thing you need to be doing is lifting things."

"You know, Castle, in third-world countries, pregnant women lift things much heavier than a stroller."

He was already on the move. "Don't use the third-world country guilt trip on me. Not gonna work." Kate caught up to him, giving him a violent poke in the shoulder. It stopped when he took it, kissing the back of her hand. "We don't need anything else, do we?"

"Nope, I think we're good."

* * *

><p>He let her carry the bags into the elevator, but made her set them down as soon as the doors closed.<p>

"Seriously, Castle. I can carry things. I feel fine."

Castle leaned against the back of the elevator, the stroller box propped against his side. "Kate, don't lie. Please." His expression stopped her protest. "You're nervous and scared and a whole host of emotions. You are anything but 'fine' right now. Just… let me do this for you. For us."

Kate hadn't felt the tears creeping into her eyes until he reached out to brush one off her cheek. In an attempt to get her emotions under control, Kate grabbed up the shopping bags and twisted her fingers into the plastic.

He juggled the box, digging into his pocket for the keys. They were quiet as they climbed the stairs, opening the door to the guest room that had been transformed into the nursery. A week ago, they had taken the weekend to clear out the extra bed, putting it into storage, painting the walls cream, a forest green trim running at the baseboards. They had repainted the bureau the same green, replacing silver with gold hardware. A little crib, the type that had rockers on the bottom, was in the corner, a mobile of stars hanging over it. Kate had stopped Castle from going overboard, wanting the room to be simple enough to add onto later.

She flicked on the light long enough for them to drop the bags and box in the doorway. When she turned to leave, Castle looked confused. "What?"

"Don't you want to hang clothes and… stuff?"

"I'd like to have lunch, actually. We can do clothes after I eat." She scooted around him, walking down the steps slowly. Her center of balance was so thrown off that it took her longer than usual to make the trip from the nursery to the kitchen. With a glance backwards that confirmed Castle was still in the room, Kate gave her stomach a poke. "Any time you want now, little one. It'd make Mom pretty happy if you were on time. She values promptness."

Once in the kitchen, Kate couldn't decide what to make. She opened the fridge, pulling out the bagged salad and throwing some into a bowl and adding Italian dressing.

"You know," his voice had her grabbing the counter in surprise, a move she hoped he didn't catch. "There's an easy way to move him along."

She turned, leaning against the counter, crossing her arms. "And that would be? Because everything I've read says that they pick their own time."

Kate didn't know whether to feel claustrophobic or aroused when Castle pressed her into the counter, his hands resting beside hers, effectively trapping her. He lowered his mouth to her ear, giving it a nip before whispering, "Sex."

Breathless from his proximity, Kate just sighed, her eyes fluttering closed. The concept played around in her mind for a second, then she shook her head so quickly that Castle got his face whacked by her ponytail. "No! Castle, I've got enough in there already without adding you to the mix!"

"Oh, but I'm already in the mix. That's how we got into this situation in the first place."

Caught between a scowl and a laugh, Kate shoved him away, turning to finish making the salad. His arms wrapped around her from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder as he watched her pull a fork from the drawer.

"Not happening, Castle. Crowded enough."

"Ah, but there's another method."

Kate resisted the urge to stab him in the eye with the fork. But only because doing so would not only get blood everywhere and possibly leave her husband blind, but because she'd have to get a clean fork from the drawer. She weighed heavily on the last reason. "Go away."

"I was going to suggest spicy food, but alright then." He let her free, watching her blink in surprise at his suggestion. "What? Not the repeated try at sex you were expecting?" Castle framed her face with his hands, brushing his lips over hers with tantalizing sweetness. "Kate, I can control myself."

He felt her smile against the kiss. "I'll believe that when I see it," she said, stabbing lettuce with the fork and chewing it.

Castle waited for her to finish the mouthful of salad before pinning her again. "Get ready to believe, Katherine."

He let his lips skim hers, not quite a kiss, but definitely enough to send electricity zipping to her fingertips. He pulled back a bit, smiling when her head followed his without her permission. "See? You're the one that can't control herself." With her mouth open in argument, Castle swooped back in, his tongue dancing into her mouth, capturing her quiet moan. Her hands snuck up between their bodies, fisting in his shirt and pulling him closer. His stomach bumped against hers and the baby kicked against him.

Castle laughed against Kate's lips. "I guess he's going to control both of us." He gave her a final peck before strolling toward the office. "I'm going to write while you eat. Grab me before you head back up and we can figure that stroller out together."

Kate sat at the dining table, too tired to lift herself onto the bar stools at the island. Over another mouthful of salad, she watched as he flipped the light on in the office, booting up the SmartBoard and his laptop. Minutes later, the sounds of a symphony orchestra playing Dvorak's New World Symphony filled the apartment. She wondered what on earth he was writing that required such music – normally the choice of soundtrack had something to do with the words on the page. She was stumped, but spent the time she took eating to mull over the possibilities of what Nikki and Rook could be doing to such a tune.

Placing the bowl in the sink to wash later, Kate wandered into the office. Castle looked up from the laptop, watching as she smiled at him on her way to the bedroom. "Be right back. Find a place to pause so we can get that room all set up for him."

When she returned, he was gone, the music turned down but not off. He had put the SmartBoard to sleep so she couldn't peek on the storyline. Shrugging, Kate went up stairs, using the railing to pull herself up.

He had the stroller out of the box, sitting on the ground with parts around him and a screwdriver in hand. The sleeves of his red button-up rolled to his elbows, the top few buttons undone enough to give her a hint of his chest. Kate leaned against the doorframe, watching as he looked between the instructions and the parts piled neatly around him. He was the only man she knew that actually followed the directions provided.

"You ever want to give up writing and be a handyman, I'm all for it."

Castle turned his head with a charming grin, wiggling the screwdriver between his thumb and index finger. "Glad to hear I have a future." The smile faded just a little when he saw what she held in her hands.

Kate placed her mother's box on the bureau after running a finger over the Celtic scrollwork inlay on the top. "He should have the picture frame hung somewhere." Holding the silver frame with the collage of photos collected by Johanna, Kate turned to search the walls for the right spot. "She wanted him to have it, after all."

He saw her eyes looking for a spot and shook his head. "Don't hang it. Just place it on the bureau that way we can move it if we want and not leave a hole in the wall each time."

"I knew I kept you around for a reason. Other than your stroller building abilities." Kate opened the stand on the back of the frame and propped it against the bureau.

"Perfect." She turned and saw he was still sitting, a sappy smile across his face. "All three of you."

It took her a moment to realize he wasn't insinuating that their son had split into twins, but that he was speaking of her, their unborn child, and her mother. She gently touched her hand to her mother's face in one of the pictures before taking a deep breath in.

"Okay, where are those clothes?"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Only three more chapters to go with All My Secrets! I've decided to cap this story at 24 chapters - brownie point to those who can guess why (via review), excluding my sidekick who I have already told._

_Just because AMS is ending, do not be sad, dear readers! I've got a few more story ideas bouncing around my desktop and my head that I plan on getting down as well as a few current one-shots I might want to expand upon (Just Coffee, Comfort, etc.), so I will not be disappearing. Except for when November rolls around and I compete in my very first NaNoWriMo and will need every spare minute for writing in that. But until then, I'm sticking with you as long as you stick with me!_

_My final goal for All My Secrets is to get it to the NaNoWriMo finishing line: 50,000 words. With this chapter, I'm at 43,663 words, which means I need to get 6,337 into these last three chapters. Wouldn't it be cool if AMS was the length of a short novel? I think so..._

_Review away! The kind words will keep me running through my first solo tour and my French class tomorrow!_


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

_A/N: What a quick turnaround for this chapter! I'm spoiling you all with the speed - don't get too used to it. This was actually a test run for NaNoWriMo, to see if I could write the required 1,667 words in a day. Well, success! Whether I can write that many words in a day for an entire month will be another story... (Ha! I made a punny!) Most of you guessed correctly regarding the number of chapters planned - yes, it is because there are 24 episodes in a season (minus our first season). I thought it would be appropriate. Anyways, savor these last chapters. I know I am._

**_Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I certainly wish they were, but they aren't. They remain in the trustworthy care of Andrew Marlowe and crew._**

* * *

><p>Normal people would have thought their actions disgusting or weird. And they were. Most days, Kate still thought this was strange. But she kept coming back every day, so she couldn't be that grossed out by the concept.<p>

They were sitting on one of the slabs in the morgue, their lunches between them on the raised section. Lanie was picking chips out of the bag, sandwiching them on her turkey-and-cheese while Kate examined the rest of an apple.

"Lanie, I'm tired of being pregnant," Kate whined, hating how her voice sounded. She stopped herself from making that noise again by taking a bite of her apple. The bite was a bit more forceful than usual, but the pain in her lower back was murderous in its intensity. It was easier to punish the fruit than to roll on the ground in pain.

Around a mouthful of food, Lanie responded, "Not much longer now, though. I mean, you can only stay pregnant for so long before they evict the bugger, right?"

Kate shifted on the table, trying to alleviate the ache. No change. She sighed. "I guess so." She caught a raised brow from her friend and mirrored the movement. "What?"

"You've been moving back and forth for the past fifteen minutes. I'm starting to get a little seasick from watching your swaying."

"Well sorry," she said sarcastically. She twisted the stem of the apple, playing the old elementary school trick where each turn stood for a letter of the alphabet and the one the stem twisted off to would be the person you married. Kate smiled when the little twig snapped off on 'C.' "My back doesn't want to cooperate with your request."

Lanie polished off the last of the sandwich and was brushing her hands over the napkin when she paused. "Wait." Kate looked up. "You said your back?"

"Uh, yeah. Like, right here," she said, gesturing to her lower back. "But it doesn't hurt so badly now. Comes and goes."

The medical examiner jumped off the table, tossed the napkins and empty chip bag into the trash, then turned to Kate with her hands on her hips. "Girl, you're in labor."

"Hmmm… That makes sense, actually." Kate found herself oddly calm, contemplating the notion of being in labor. "Well, does this mean I need to get to a hospital, Doctor Parish?"

"Duh!"

Kate slid from the table, taking another bite from her apple before basketball-shooting the core into the trash. "You drive?"

They walked from the morgue, appearing completely normal to the staff. Kate and Lanie's lunches were now part of their schedule, so watching the friends head to the elevator to say goodbye was nothing new.

Perlmutter stepped off the elevator and Kate ran into him. "Hey, Detective! Watch where you're going, will ya?" he muttered, backing up.

"Perlmutter, cover for me," Lanie stated, not a question. She caught the doors of the elevator before they closed so that Kate could get in. "Probably won't be back today."

The elevator shut, cutting off the older medical examiner's protest. They were alone in the elevator car as it jostled its way to the first floor. Lanie never parked in the garage, preferring to walk a block or two in the open air before confining herself to the morgue where sunlight didn't exist nevermind fresh air.

As they reached Lanie's little silver sedan, Lanie grabbed Kate's arm. "Girl, you need to call Writer Husband!"

"No, I don't." Kate wiggled from her friend's grasp, lowering herself into the passenger seat. "He's in a meeting with Gina and Paula. Besides, it's not like I'm giving birth right now."

They were silent as Lanie pulled out into traffic. Some R&B song was playing on the radio, but neither of them were listening to the singer's words.

"Kate, don't you think you should just-"

"Lanie, I'm not calling or texting or e-mailing him!" Kate exclaimed from her seat. "He doesn't need to worry about me. I've got you with me."

Stuck at a stoplight a block from the hospital, Lanie pulled her phone from her pocket and started typing away.

"What're you doing?" Kate asked, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of her friend's phone.

Lanie jerked the phone out of Kate's line of sight. "Texting your husband."

"Stop!"

Lanie slammed on the breaks, knowing that wasn't what Kate had meant. But the detective was fast; she swiped the phone from Lanie's hand in the split second, tucking it down between the seat and her door.

"I said no to contacting Castle." Lanie was glaring, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to figure out the question she wanted to ask. Kate gave a little jerk of her head toward the road. "It's green." Once Lanie started forward, letting an aggressive taxi driver cut out in front of her, Kate picked at her cuticles. "Just… Just let him stay on-point for this meeting. He's negotiating an extension on the book deal and he's been stressed about it. He doesn't need to be itching to get out of there and get to the hospital until contracts have been signed. Please, Lanie. For me, just leave this alone for now."

The M.E. nodded slowly. "Fine. But don't you think that I won't be calling him as soon as they get you settled into a room. Deal?"

"If you must." The words were tense and Lanie saw her friend's hand tighten on the fabric of the seat.

"Another one?" Lanie asked, mentally tracking her friend's contractions.

Kate forced a smile. "That obvious?"

"Yeah. Stronger than the one in the morgue?"

"Oh, you know, just a tad stronger. Instead of feeling like someone is stabbing me in the back, it feels like someone decided a gun was a better choice. And I would know the difference."

"Gallows humor even now, Detective? Cop really is in your blood." Lanie parked the car into one of the reserved spots for law enforcement and city officials. "Ride it out here and then we'll head in."

It lasted about a minute before Kate's hand relaxed on the seat, flexing her fingers to counteract the clenching before. Her breathing leveled out. She opened the door, using the headrest and dashboard to get out. Lanie scrambled out from the driver's side, snatching her phone from the floor of the car before Kate slammed the door. They walked to the same door Castle had carried Kate through a month earlier, except this time Kate was on her own feet and Castle was probably sitting in one of those wheelie chairs that he loved to spin around in when she wasn't looking.

"How can I help you?" asked the nurse on-duty. Kate noted it was the same woman that Castle had scared before. "Oh…" And now Kate knew that nurse recognized her as well. "No husband today?"

"Just me," said Lanie, stepping up beside her friend. "Katherine Beckett. Just started labor. Contractions are about fifteen minutes apart, lasting roughly a minute."

The nurse was typing into the computer, probably pulling up Kate's file. "Have a seat over there and a doctor will be right out." The nurse flashed a kind smile up at them. "Just try to relax and breathe."

"Relax. Breathe. Right." Kate's voice as a whispered mutter as she sat in one of the plastic seats, picking up the outdated People magazine and flipping through the pages. Her foot tapped impatiently, in rhythm with the Top 40s radio station playing in the waiting room.

Lanie had a home decorating magazine in her hands, but she wasn't paying attention to what aspects of Victorian style were back in. She was watching Kate, judging her movements carefully for anything that would be out of place.

"Katherine?"

Kate tossed the magazine to the sidetable, having gone through the entire issue in fifteen minutes, giving the doctor a wave before pushing herself up. "Hey, Jansen," she said, smiling on the walk over.

They started down the hallway, the doctor flipping through the file. "So, real deal this time?"

"Apparently. Lanie noticed before I put it all together." The doctor paused, glancing at the petite woman who had been shadowing them down the hall. "Doctor Daniel Jansen, my friend and one of the city's medical examiners, Doctor Lanie Parish."

"It's a pleasure, Doctor Jansen," Lanie said, shaking the other doctor's hand.

They reached an empty room and Jansen held the door open for the two women. "So, medical examiner?"

Lanie shrugged, "My patients don't run the risk of dying. But I did rounds in the obstetric and maternity wards during med school. That and I've watched my boyfriend's best friend's wife go through that," she said, with a wave toward Kate, "twice already. I recognize the symptoms."

"I could have recognized my own symptoms, Lanie!" Kate protested just as another contraction rolled over her. She grabbed for the nearest object and found Lanie's hand slipping into hers.

"I'm sure you would have, Kate. You're smart." Jansen watched his patient grit her teeth through the contraction. "You want to switch from that very pretty dress into the significant step-down that are the johnnys here? I'll give you a minute," he said, pulling the curtain that hung on one side of the room so it gave Kate some privacy.

"He's nice," remarked Lanie, flopping into the chair against the wall, the windows of the room at her back. "For a hospital-doctor, you know? Gives me faith in the people who work in actual hospitals with equipment that makes mine look like caveman tools, especially after the last doctor we knew."

Kate was folding the black dress carefully, pulling the johnny on and tying the first set of strings. "Really?" she said, poking her head around the curtain. "You're going to bring Josh up right now?"

Lanie shrugged. "He was a nice enough fellow. He just wasn't your one and done. Castle is." She got up to help Kate sit on the edge of the bed, taking her phone from her pocket.

"You better not be taking pictures of-" Kate managed to get out before Lanie snapped a photo. "Lanie. Delete it." It was her cop voice, all seriousness and unbending will.

"Just a sec and it'll be gone forever," Lanie muttered, typing out a message and hitting 'Send.' "Done."

Kate glared. "What did you just do?"

"Playing a game. That's all." Lanie sat cross-legged in the chair, opening the Scrabble app on her phone, holding it up for Kate to see. "Scrabble. I have, like, four games going. Hard to keep up with them when you sometimes play against a New York Times Bestseller."

Just as Lanie's phone vibrated, Jansen re-entered the room, stopping Kate's questions with one of his own. "So, where's Castle? After last month, I would have thought he'd be the first through the door."

"Meeting with his publishing house. He'll be here once he's out." Kate ignored Lanie's eyeroll.

* * *

><p>"Clearly, the man can write, Gina."<p>

"That's not the question, Paula."

The two women were nearly nose-to-nose and their stilettos were surely touching. And they weren't even standing. The blonde and the dark brunette were sitting in the spinning chairs, facing each other, their expressions so similar it was eerie.

They had been at it for over an hour. This argument started with how much longer he could continue the Nikki Heat series and still get the books to sell, progressed to how the public would react if the leads in the series finally added rings to their relationship, and now they were onto whether his writing would slip with the baby in the house. And frankly, Castle was getting sick of it. Sick of the fighting and the doubting – he had written plenty of books while Alexis was an infant and toddler and those sold just fine. He could do it again, especially since this baby would have a present mother. Kate was his third time charm, after all – nothing like Meredith had been. Instead of begging the nice girl who lived down the hall to babysit as he had with Alexis, Kate would be there, along with Martha and the boys from the precinct and Lanie and Jenny. His family extended beyond the immediate one, now. When writing needed to get done, he'd have people to call on if he needed silence.

"Listen, Paula," said Gina, venom dripping in her voice as she sat back, folding her hands on the legal pad in front of her. "I'm not saying he couldn't eek another three books out of Nikki Heat, but I am questioning whether he should."

"Whether he should?" Paula's exclamation was just short of a scream. She expressed her anger in another way – throwing the ballpoint pen across the room where it bounced off the wall and skittered under the table. "What do you mean 'whether he should' continue to write?"

Castle was a passive observer. This was how most of the meetings played out between Gina and Paula. Start politely, escalate to a hissy fit between them both, then find a playing ground they both agreed on, sign the papers, and leave. He'd go home, find his wife there, make dinner, and fall asleep with her in his arms. But right now, he was stuck at the hissy fit phase.

With a sigh, he let his head fall into his hands, massaging his temples in an attempt to ward off the headache he could feel creeping in. Letting the two women fight it out, he started to think of what to make for dinner. The internal argument between spaghetti and meatballs versus those apple cider pork chops Kate loves lasted long enough for the two women to come to some sort of decision.

"Three more books, okay, Rick?" asked Paula, who was seated closest to him. He noted that she looked proud while Gina simply sulked prettily next to her.

He shrugged and nodded. "Fair enough."

Before he could pick up the pen that hadn't been thrown against the wall, Gina stopped him. "But you hold off on engaging Heat and Rook until the second of those, if at all. Got it?"

"Of course. Can I sign now or is there another stipulation I should know about?" he asked with one of his charming smiles. The women glanced at each other, then shook their head simultaneously. "Good." He signed, then pushed the papers back to Gina. "It was lovely, ladies. But I have a wife to feed, so if you'll excuse me."

On the sidewalk, Castle hailed a cab, not bothering with a car service. It would take too long to get a town car to the building and the cabs were free since it wasn't rush hour. He paid, thanking the young woman at the wheel, before heading up to the building. It was Eduardo's night off, the alternate doorman not nearly as friendly with him. Castle nodded at the man before taking the stairs up to his floor.

He tried the door, finding it locked. Not unusual – while Kate had started taking half-days and heading home around one in the afternoon, she may have gotten caught up in a paperwork snarl and decided to stay longer. He'd take the extra time alone to write, mostly to prove Paula right, that he could still write a compelling story between Heat and Rook while he had a pregnant, soon-to-be-first-time-mother in the apartment.

Booting up the laptop, he picked out the soundtrack to National Treasure, changed into jeans and an old band tour t-shirt so worn down that it was almost see-through. He flopped into the desk chair, kicking his feet up onto the corner of the desk and settling the laptop on his thighs, opening a new Word document. He checked where the last chapter had left his heroine and plucky sidekick before letting his fingers fly across the keyboard, the entire time keeping his ears peeled for the sound of the door opening.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Who did Lanie text, I wonder. And did we like the catfight between Gina and Paula? I admit I have a soft spot for Paula, so I was rooting for her to win (which she did)._

_I know exactly where this is going, so do not fret._

_Reviews, they make me smile. I cannot accurately express how humbling your kind words make me. Without you, they are nothing but words. You make them a story that I feel worthy of writing._


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

_A/N: Well now you really are spoiled. This is not only the longest chapter, but I also got it out pretty quickly. This is my Castle Monday present to you all. Enjoy the penultimate chapter of All My Secrets!_

_**Disclaimer: Last I checked, I don't live in Los Angeles nor do I write for one of the most amazing shows in existence.**_

* * *

><p>"Well isn't this fun!" Lanie said during one of their pauses along the hallway.<p>

The doctor had wanted Kate to walk around now that the contractions were becoming regular. It was their second lap around the hospital wing and their fourth stop as Kate leaned against the wall, gritting her teeth.

"Oh yes," Kate groaned, "this is a blast. Who wouldn't want to spend their days doing this?"

Lanie started walking as soon as she saw Kate's breathing return to normal. "Can't be that bad if you're still making jokes during it."

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>Ryan and Esposito were studying the murder board, but they weren't taking in any of the information. Beckett hadn't been back from her standing lunch date with Lanie at the morgue. Even with traffic from the Office of the Medical Examiner, it never took their boss this long to get back to the 12th.<p>

"Boys!"

Their heads turned at the same time from the board to where Lieutenant O'Connor stood in the doorway of her office.

"Yeah, L.T.?" asked Ryan as the woman strolled toward them.

O'Connor gave a cursory glance at the murder board, then raised her brows. "Where's Beckett? Her lunch with the medical examiner never takes this long."

Esposito shrugged, moving from the board to his desk when his cell phone vibrated. "Maybe they've got really good girl-gossip to share today. Besides, she's all caught up with the paperwork for the case."

"Give her a call. Get her seven and ETA. She's still another set of eyes for the case." O'Connor went back to the office, leaving the door open. That simple gesture hadn't been seen in the bullpen since Montgomery. While their old skipper's absence was still a sore point for the team, O'Connor's effort make the place feel a little more like home again.

Ryan sat at his desk, picking up the phone and cradling it in his shoulder.

"Hold it, bro," Esposito said, effectively halting his partner's fingers as they typed out Beckett's cell number. "I know exactly where she is."

"Where?" Ryan swiveled around to face Esposito, the phone still against his shoulder. "And how?"

Esposito held up his cell phone, showing Ryan the photo of a mildly annoyed Beckett. "In the hospital. In labor. Lanie sent it, says that Beckett doesn't want Castle to know yet. Something about a meeting at Black Pawn. Outright banned Lanie from tell him."

Ryan replaced the phone on the cradle, picking up his cell instead. "Didn't say anything about us telling Castle, did she?"

* * *

><p>Castle caught himself doing one of his wife's more endearing expressions – his lower lip was caught between his teeth. He couldn't help himself, not when everything was going so well on the page in front of him. He'd show Gina that everything could still go completely right with Nikki and Rook.<p>

But something was bothering him and it had nothing to do with his characters. It was just about 2:15 and Kate hadn't walked through the door or called to let him know she'd be late. He knew he didn't have to be worried – it wasn't like she was prowling the streets for suspects – but that niggling feeling that something was off still played in the back of his mind.

The phone he had set on the corner of the desk began to play a generic Irish jig, Ryan's assigned ringtone. In one swift movement, Castle hit Save and picked up the phone.

"Castle."

"Hey, it's Ryan. Where are you?"

Castle set the laptop back on the desk, swinging his legs off the desk, and putting the phone more firmly against his ear. "What do you mean, where am I? I'm at the loft, awaiting my fair lady's return."

"Yeah, well, your fair lady may not be returning to her castle anytime soon."

He heard a chuckle in the background that he knew belonged to Esposito. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"Let's just say the time has come, Dad."

Castle didn't comprehend any of the other words coming from the detective's end of the phone. He had jumped up, nearly knocking the laptop off the desk but catching it just before it hit the ground, and dashed toward the door. "Wait, she told you and not me?" he nearly shouted into the phone, balancing it on his shoulder so he could pull on socks and sneakers.

"Lanie told us. Just get to the hospital and be with her." Ryan hung up before Castle could respond.

Castle took the stairs down to the lobby, running past the doorman. With one hand on the door to the street, he paused. "Shit." He turned, ran back upstairs, and found the apartment door unlocked. In something akin to a panic, he swung into the bedroom.

He pulled out a change of clothes for her, something he hoped matched, along with her mother's box. He wasn't entire sure if she wanted, or needed, _One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish_ with her at the hospital, but he did know she'd want the ring sitting inside the polished wood box. On his way through the study, he also grabbed a package off the desk, tucking it under his arm.

This time, Castle remembered to lock the loft behind him. He ignored the doorman's look of surprise as the writer sprinted past him a third time. Castle hailed a cab and managed to rattle off the address of the hospital as he deflated in the backseat. "Step on it, will you? My wife's in labor."

The cabbie, stuck at a red light, turned around and raised a brow. "Don't look like I have a woman in my backseat."

"She's at the hospital." When the driver just shrugged, Castle leaned forward. "I'll pay you double if you get there in two minutes."

"Deal!" As soon as the light changed to green, the cabbie screeched around the corner.

They pulled up to the curb in exactly two minutes. Castle shoved a wad of bills that was probably more than the double he had promised, thanked the man, and scrambled out.

* * *

><p>Fourth lap. One more to go before the doctor said she could lie back down. Not that Kate was keeping track.<p>

"So, do you have his Yankee jersey all picked out?" Lanie asked, fiddling around on her phone as they shuffled along.

Kate shrugged. "Narrowing down which player we want him to support. I'm pretty sure Castle already has tickets for his first game."

"I could see him as a little Boone Logan, you know. He's a cutie. It's too bad you're a Yankee fan – the Red Sox have Josh Beckett and that would be just too adorable."

They stopped at the corner of the hallway. Kate glared at Lanie. "Did you really just suggest that I trade loyalties just so that my son could have a jersey with my last name on it?"

Knowing how serious Kate took baseball, Lanie quickly shook her head. "Not at all."

"Good." Kate rounded the corner and stopped short.

There, at the intake desk, was Castle. He was leaning over the desk, talking with his hands as the nurse shrugged and pointed at the computer screen.

"Lanie…"

The medical examiner looked away innocently. "You said I couldn't tell Castle. You said nothing about not informing my boyfriend who may have taken it into his own hands."

"That was low. Even for you."

"What? You need him. And he needs to be here." Lanie nudged her friend's arm, nodding toward the still-frantic writer. "Look how worried he is."

"He's going to kill me for not telling him earlier."

"Probably." Lanie stepped forward, using her taxi whistle to get Castle's attention. "Writer Boy!"

Castle pushed back from the desk, his head twisting in their direction. "Oh my God, Kate!" He ran down the hallway, somehow dodging doctors and nurses on his way.

Kate felt like she was run over with a steamroller: Castle gathered her up in a bone-crushing hug just as another contraction hit. Her hands wrapped around his biceps, squeezing tightly. "Hey, Castle," she managed. When he tried to pull back, Kate held on. "Just… give me a second, 'kay?"

"Um, okay." He looked over her head at Lanie, who mouthed 'contractions' at him. "So, any reason you decided not to tell me when this started?"

"Meeting. Important. Had Lanie," Kate said between breaths. After another few seconds, she stepped back, smiling at him. "I was going to tell you."

"When? After all the excitement was over so you could pick both his names?"

"I'm not that underhanded, Castle." She took his hand, giving it a tug as she started toward her room. "Come on."

Lanie hung back, wiggling her phone between her fingers. "I'll call the important people. Have them start flocking, you know?"

Neither Kate nor Castle really heard Lanie's statement. Kate led Castle into the room as Lanie breezed past them toward the waiting room, the phone already to her ear.

"Well this brings back memories…" Castle muttered.

The room looked like any other hospital room. Cream walls, generic watercolor painting that matched the curtains. His eyes went to the heart monitor as his own skipped a beat. Even after the month he spent at her bedside after the shooting, he knew he would never get that image out of his brain.

"Better memories this time," Kate said with a squeeze of his hand. "Promise." She slipped her hand out of his, boosting herself up onto the bed.

He sat in the chair Lanie had claimed. "You thought my meeting with Paula and Gina was more important than being with you here?"

Her hand ran up and down the railing that was up on one side, her eyes refusing to make contact. "I know you were worried about the contract being extended. I didn't want you to be distracted or not completely on your game."

"Earth to Kate," Castle said, waving his hand in front of her eyes. He waited until she looked up before smiling. "It's me we're talking about. If you haven't noticed, I tend to live life distracted." Kate nodded slowly, a smile of her own creeping onto her face. "Plus, those meetings never really need me anyway. Paula and Gina go at it and I watch. It's like a sport."

"I'm not going to apologize, you know."

He pulled the chair closer to her bed, taking her hand in his. "And I don't expect you to."

There was a knock at the door before Dr. Jansen came in. "Your M.E. friend told me that the writer had made an appearance. Welcome, Castle." The two men shook hands before Jansen turned his attention to Kate. "So, did you enjoy the walk?"

"Totally," she responded with a roll of her eyes. "Such excitement in the hallways."

"Yes, well, the walks will help reduce the pain for these first hours."

Kate groaned. "Hours?"

The doctor just scribbled in some notes on the clipboard. "Probably. You just started contractions two hours ago. We've got a ways to go. I'll be back in about thirty minutes to check your progress. Just relax until then – from what I heard from Dr. Parish, you're going to have a flood of support headed to the waiting room in the next hour."

"Great…"

* * *

><p>Castle flexed his hand, giving Kate a tense smile. "Well that was a strong one, wasn't it?"<p>

He had shifted from the chair next to her bed to sitting at her hip. He reached over, brushing a strand of hair off her face. He had braided it before the contractions got this bad in the hopes that it would simultaneously calm her down and keep her hair from becoming too tangled.

"God, Castle…" Kate whispered, her eyes fluttering closed as her head fell against the pillow, "how much longer?"

"Whenever he feels like making his entrance. Which could be a while, since he has some of Mother's genes in there, so he may want to make a dramatic one."

"Katie?"

Their heads turned to the doorway just as Jim walked in, Martha tailing him.

"Hey, Dad, Martha."

"Hey, kiddo," Martha said, rubbing Kate's calf as she walked around the bed. "How you doin'?"

Kate shrugged, giving them a little thumbs-up with her free hand. "A-okay. I'm told the worst is yet to come, so I've got something to look forward to."

"Oh, I remember that phase," sighed Martha. "It can only get better afterwards. Unless, of course, you end up with a Richard clone. In that case, prepare yourself."

"I turned out fine, Mother," protested Castle.

But Martha didn't seem to hear. "Can I chat with you for a few minutes, Richard?" When she caught the glance her son threw toward Kate, she waved her hand. "She's not going to give birth in the next ten minutes. I think her father can take over the role of stress-ball, right Jim?"

"Absolutely." Jim hooked his foot around the leg of the chair, pulling it against Kate's bed. "I did it for your mother, you know? I'm a pro. You go ahead, Rick."

Castle nodded, mostly to himself, before leaning over Kate and placing a kiss on her forehead. "I'll be right out in the hall if you need me."

As he moved away, Kate grabbed the neckline of his t-shirt and pulled him back. "Love you," she said, brushing her lips against his.

"I love you too," he said with a smile. "Let's go, Mother, so I can get back to my beautiful wife."

Kate watched him leave, grinning at the little wave he shot back at her before closing the door behind him and Martha.

"You really love him, don't you, Katie?" Jim asked, leaning his forearms on the bed and taking one of his daughter's hands.

"So much it makes me crazy."

"That's good. You need a little crazy in your life." He tugged at Kate's braid with a smile. "You know, when your mother went through this, she was far less composed than you are now."

Kate blinked, owl-eyed. "I can't see Mom not being composed."

Jim laughed, shaking his head at the memory. "She was a mess. So nervous that the doctors threatened to just knock her out for the whole thing. She calmed down after that." He rubbed his hand up and down her forearm. "She was so excited to meet you. Tired, but riding some sort of high that rose above the exhaustion."

"How far into the ordeal did that high kick in? Because that would be kind of nice right about now." Kate placed her hand over her father's. "Dad, I don't want to let her down."

"Are we going to go over this again, Katie?" His daughter gave a sheepish smile, a little shrug of her shoulder. "You could never let your mother down. Ever. Not even if you tried to. You'll make mistakes, just like we did. And my grandchild will turn out just as strong and brave and perfect as you are. Plus, you'll have Rick to lean on."

Kate swallowed hard. "And you."

"Katie, you'll always have me."

"Good, because I'll need to squeeze your hand right now."

Jim took a deep breath then slipped his hand into Kate's. "Go for it. But remember, I'm old."

* * *

><p>"Will you quit pacing, Richard!" Martha complained from her seat down the hall from Kate's room. Her son was walking back and forth, his hands alternating between twisting together and being shoved in his pockets.<p>

"I just…" When his mother glared at him, Castle sat in the chair next to hers, pulling his hand through his hair. "I just hate to see her hurting like that."

"She's a woman. Her body's designed to handle this type of thing." She placed a hand on Castle's shoulder, rubbing it slowly. "Besides, seeing you nervous will just make her more anxious. You need to be her anchor, Richard. It's a hard job, but she'll need it as this moves along."

"How did you do it?" he asked, letting his head fall into his hands.

"I had friends who stood by me. But she has something more." Castle shifted his head to look at his mother. "The people from the precinct aren't just her co-workers. They're her family in every way that matters. But you're her first line of support and you need to be there for her at one hundred and ten percent."

"What if I let her down?"

"Richard Castle, you need to get yourself together." Her stern tone jerked him out of his worrying. "You couldn't let Kate down. And even if you do, she will certainly have her own moments where she disappoints you. That's life. But right now, you need to be solid. She's the newbie at this. You've been through it with Alexis. Kate is scared, completely terrified, but she does a good job of hiding it under that shell of hers. Eventually it'll crack tonight and she'll need you to hold onto. Got it?"

Mildly surprised at his mother's monologue, though it wasn't unexpected, Castle sighed. "You're right." He took his mother's hand, placing a kiss on her knuckles. "Can I go back to my wife now?"

"I don't think I could stop you if I wanted. I'll update the precinct sitting in the waiting room."

"Thank you, Mother."

"Any time, Richard."

They walked together to the door to Kate's room, meeting Jim as he exited, doing the same flexing motion with his hand that Castle had been doing all afternoon.

"Another one?"

Jim nodded, smiling despite the faint pain still running through the muscles of his hand. "Makes me wish she was five and having trouble getting the Legos to stick together and not thirty-four and a trained cop that can handle men twice her size. I'm surprised my bones are still intact."

"Does not bode well for my hands," Castle muttered, looking down at his fingers. "Other than that, how's she doing?"

"As well as anyone would be. She loves you, Rick. And you love her. And that's enough to get you both through this so you can meet your son." Jim clapped his son-in-law on the back. "Now go back in there and let my daughter squeeze your hand."

Castle mock-saluted Jim and Martha on his way back into the room.

"Hey, Castle." Kate was playing with the edge of the blanket, a thread twisted around her forefinger.

"Hey, beautiful," Castle whispered, kissing her gently on the lips. "Your father tells me you nearly broke all the bones in his hand."

"Yeah, well, he's the one that offered it up."

"Fair enough." He sat in the chair, picking up the package he had grabbed on the way out of the apartment. "I've got a present for you."

Kate shook her head. "Geez, Castle, right now? Really?"

He pulled out a bound manuscript. "Yes, right now. The final version of _Taking Heat_. It'll be a good distraction until we reach the critical moments."

Kate didn't try to hide the expression of complete and utter joy that spread across her face. "You're going to read to me?"

"Yes, I am. Now shush so I can start," he said, flipping past the dedication, which he always kept a secret from her until the hardcover came out, and rested the manuscript on his thigh so she could hold one of his hands. "Chapter One…"

* * *

><p><em>AN: And so we have the penultimate chapter. This means the next one is the end. Or the beginning. Depends on how you look at it. I cannot express how thankful I am to all my readers for sticking with me on this one. You all make me smile._

_Oh, if any of you are participating in NaNoWriMo 2011, add me as a writing buddy! My name is the same as it is here. We can suffer together._

_I love reviews as well. They're a nice break in the constant stream of spam and school-related e-mails I get._


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

_A/N: So, dear readers, this is it. I'm going to write a babbling, tear-filled post at the end. For now, enjoy._

**_Disclaimer: As much as I wish, after spending these two months with them, that they were mine, they aren't._**

* * *

><p>Kate had the pleasure of watching the sunset through the window of the hospital room. She didn't see it as a pleasure since it meant she had been at this for the entire afternoon, but she had to admire the fact that the sky looked like a watercolor painting, just starting to mix the reds and golds with the purple of night against the skyline. It was pretty, something she never got the chance to see with her strange working hours.<p>

As the deep blue overtook the last rays of sunshine, she let her hand fall back onto the pillow with a huff.

"If this is boring you, I can try a different distraction technique."

Without moving her head, Kate shifted her gaze to the man still sitting in what appeared to be one of the most uncomfortable chairs in existence. He had been in the same location for the last five hours, reading snippets of _Taking Heat_ between her contractions, brushing her hair back from a brow that was getting sticky with sweat, and regaling her with stories of what Alexis did as a newborn.

Currently, he was holding his spot in the manuscript, the other hand rubbing her thigh, working on the tight muscles there. She could see that his smile was hiding the exhaustion, probably for her own benefit.

"No, you're fine," she muttered, reaching down as far as the IV tubes in her arm would let her and took hold of his hand. "I'm just tired."

He set the manuscript aside, upside down so the binding was cracked, something that she knew he hated doing. "You're doing great, Kate. Not much longer now."

"Said that an hour ago."

Castle gave her legs a gentle push to the side, enough for him to scoot onto the bed with her. The doctors insisted on trying to keep him from sharing the bed with her, but at this point, they had given up that battle. "So I did." Bracing one hand on the mattress next to her, he placed a kiss on her cheek. "Meant it an hour ago too. Anything hurt?"

"How about everything from neck down?" she sighed, moving her head to rest on his shoulder. "Remember when I said I didn't want to stay pregnant forever?" She felt his head nod. "I take it back."

"That bad?"

"Let's just say getting shot was nothing compared to this."

He looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, her breathing heavy and uneven, her skin shimmering from the sweat of the last three hours. If their timing was correct, another contraction should be hitting any moment. And, if the past ones were any hint, it wouldn't be pleasant. They'd been getting stronger but hadn't lead to much of anything except frustration on Kate's part and a reaffirmation on Castle's part that he hated seeing her in pain. But with his mother's words still vibrating through his brain, he made sure that he was by her side the entire time, biting the inside of his cheek each time he saw her grit her teeth.

The door cracked open and Lanie stuck her head in. "Hey, girl. How you doing?"

"Okay. Why? You checking for the pool?" Kate was sure there had to be a bet on what time the baby would be delivered and, knowing Lanie, she'd be in charge.

"What pool?" the woman replied innocently. Then she shook her head. "No, the boys wanted to come visit. You up for some extra company?"

Kate shrugged, but even that motion was barely visible. "Go for it." When Lanie disappeared to go grab Ryan and Esposito, Kate twined her fingers through Castle's. They were trembling a little, as if the movement was already an over-exertion of her body. "Wouldn't want to deny them the chance to mock me or anything."

"Mock you? Why would we mock our fearless leader?" Ryan quipped from around the corner.

Esposito responded with, "We would never do such a thing."

"That's right," Kate said, nodding firmly. For a moment, Castle saw the detective again, completely in control of her squad. "Because you both know I could still kick your asses."

"'Course you could, Beckett." Ryan sat in the chair, leaning his forearms on his thighs. "Getting bored yet?"

As Kate shook her head in the negative, Castle nodded. "And cranky."

"You'd be cranky too if your son was happier sitting inside you than meeting his family," she threw back.

"Fair enough. What are you two gentlemen looking for then?" Castle asked, idly massaging Kate's shoulder with his free hand. "Because we're going to have another contraction in a minute or two."

"Oh, okay," Ryan blurted out quickly. Castle figured it was the voice of experience. "We just wanted to see how you were doing. Everyone was wondering out there," he said, gesturing toward the hallway.

Esposito took his cue from his partner and nodded along. "And making sure Castle was taking care of you. He knows what will happen if he doesn't."

"As adorable as the overprotective brother act is, I'm a big girl." Still wearing her invisible badge and gun, Kate fixed the boys with a glare. "Now, move along so I can try to evict this kid."

They left with smiles and wishes of 'good luck.' Just when Kate thought she'd have Castle to herself, Lanie breezed back into the room.

"Seriously, guys? I love you all, but can't I just have a few moments alone?" Kate whined, letting her head fall onto Castle's shoulder.

"Nope." The voice came around the corner before the person. Dr. Jansen had a smile on his face despite the inkling of a glare coming from his patient. "This is a hospital, Kate. You know you're never left alone for long. Just here to check how far dilated we are." He washed his hands as he spoke.

Kate didn't sound overly thrilled with her muttered, "Whoopi."

Castle reclaimed his seat next to the bed, flipping open the manuscript as the doctor measured how close Kate was to actually holding their son outside of her own body. Lanie stood behind Castle's seat, giving his shoulder a reassuring pat. When Jansen moved across the room, washing his hands a second time, three pairs of eyes followed him.

Castle found his voice first. "So?"

"It's time."

Twin sighs of relief filled the room. Lanie just pulled her fist down in a celebratory motion, shouting "Yes!" and running from the room to tell the others.

* * *

><p>When the minute hand finally reached twelve, the hour hand resting calmly on the nine, Kate had reached her tipping point. As yet another painful contraction released her, Kate let out a sob that she had been holding in.<p>

"I can't do this anymore…"

Castle had slipped behind her so she was laying in the vee of his legs. He pressed a kiss to her forehead when she fell back against him. "You're so close, Kate."

She hated the tears that escaped from behind her closed eyes, the ones that he wiped away gently. "I just want Mom, Castle." He glanced over at the chair to where Jim was sitting, trying to read the newspaper from the morning. The mention of Johanna had Jim's blue-grey eyes looking over the top of the paper. "I want Mom…" Her voice sounded as tired as he knew she felt.

"Jim." The older man shifted his gaze from Kate's face to Castle's. "Under that pile of clothes is something. Hand it to me, please?"

As Jim moved the extra clothes Castle had grabbed for Kate, Castle used his forefinger to bring Kate's eyes to his. "Hey." With his thumb, he brushed off another tear that was making a path down her cheek. "You are so strong, Kate. You can beat this, okay?"

With one hand, he took the box from Jim with a nod thanks. "Kate, here." He circled her shoulders, placing her mother's box on her stomach. He saw her eyes widen when he opened it, pulling out her mother's ring, dangling from the delicate silver chain.

"Your mother is right here with you. Here," he said, taking one of the hands that had been clenched into a fist and opening it, dropping the ring into her palm, "and here," he said, pointing to her heart. "Where she'll always be."

Her hand shook as she closed it on the necklace, tucking it against her chest. "Dad?"

"Yeah, Katie?" Jim answered, sitting on the edge of the chair so he could rub his hand against her forearm.

"Did Mom's labor last this long?"

Jim nodded, giving her arm a squeeze. "Yeah, it did. You might be beating her record, actually."

"Is it worth it?" she asked, letting her eyes flutter open and meet her father's eyes.

The men exchanged glances over Kate's head. Then Jim spoke. "Your mother and I certainly thought so. And I'm sure Rick will tell you the same about when Alexis was born."

Kate reached up, wiping the last of the tears off her face, careful of the IV tubes. "Okay then…" Her deep breath was shaky, but it cleared her thoughts. "God, I love you so much, Richard Castle."

He twisted his head so it was next to hers. "I love you too, Katherine Beckett." With tenderness that had Kate melting a little, he kissed her. She still felt a blush creep onto her cheeks given the fact her father was sitting not five feet from them, but she couldn't help the smile that appeared when he pulled away. "And I love you, little Royce Arthur."

He felt another contraction tightened her stomach under his hand before she could snatch it up to squeeze. Through clenched teeth, Kate managed to get out, "Roy. We said we'd call him Roy."

"Oh that's right," Castle muttered. "Royce is only for when we're angry at him."

Jim sat back into the chair, the mini-crisis averted. He could tell they were going to get somewhere with these contractions; Johanna's labor had been long, lasting all night until the last hour when things moved at light-speed. He sensed Kate was nearing that point. The same determination was visible in Kate's being that had washed over Johanna in that final hour. 'Like mother, like daughter,' he thought with a smile, opening the paper back up to the Sports section to see how his Yankees had done last night.

* * *

><p>The room had gotten pretty crowded over the last thirty minutes. Jim had been correct in his prediction that things would move pretty quickly within the hour. Kate counted, between her pushing, at least two doctors and nurses that ran in and out of the room in shifts. The cop in her was memorizing descriptions as a distraction from the pain. As each one came into the room, she went through the motions of age, weight, height, hair and eye color.<p>

One of the doctors had foolishly tried to get Castle to move from his position behind Kate. That argument had ended when Kate had yelled at the doctor to worry about more important things than where her husband decided to sit. Besides, he was a much more comfortable pillow than the ones she had been laying against for the better part of the day.

Kate could faintly hear one of the doctors counting down as she finished the latest of her pushes.

"And… relax. Maybe three more, Kate."

Her head fell into the space between Castle's shoulder and neck and he gently kissed her nose as her breaths huffed in and out. "Hear that, Kate? Three more. That's only three minutes at the most."

Their son had obviously inherited Kate's competitive nature – he beat Castle's predicted time by a full minute.

With a final, sobbing breath on Kate's part, Royce Arthur Castle entered the world.

And they quickly discovered he had gotten Castle's vocal chords.

"We were right. A healthy boy, you two," said Dr. Jansen. "Do the honors, Dad?"

Still supporting Kate from behind, Castle shifted just enough to reach over and snip the umbilical cord. In a swift motion, he gathered Kate into his arms, tucking her head into his neck and nuzzling his nose into her sweaty, tangled braid. She could feel his mouth trying to come up with words, but for once, the writer was speechless.

Aware of the IVs and heart rate monitor clipped to her finger, Kate did her best to return the hug.

"Mom, want to hold him?"

With one arm still holding onto Castle's shoulder, Kate twisted to face Dr. Jansen who held out the bundle of mint green blankets. Both of their eyes were shimmering with tears as the doctor settled the blankets into the crook of Kate's arm. Jim and Martha, the only other family members in the room, didn't seem to exist anymore to Kate or Castle. Their attention was fully focused on the face visible in the folds of the blankets.

His hands were curled up in fists next to his face, the thin ID bracelet around his wrist barely visible. There was a tuft of dark brown hair peeking out, his eyes clenched shut, hiding their color. Castle reached a hand over, running his finger up and down the baby's knuckles.

"Hey there, little man."

As his hand was closer, Dr. Jansen snapped an ID bracelet on Castle's wrist, then Kate's. "It's official now. He's yours." He wasn't sure either parent heard him, so he looked over at Jim and Martha. "We just need to take footprints and get the birth certificate filled out. If she's up to it, she can start nursing before we run a few standard tests. Let one of them know when they get off the cloud, okay?"

Martha gave Jansen a salute. "Ten-four."

One of the nurses pressed an inkpad to the baby's foot, then to two pieces of paper, repeating with the other foot. One of the pages she tucked into a file after waving it to dry the ink. The other she left on the wheelie table holding the _Taking Heat_ manuscript, Johanna's box, and Kate's change of clothes. She said "Congratulations," before leaving the room with the file.

"So, either of you two going to do the formal introduction or are you waiting for the whole crew to be here?" asked Jim quietly.

Neither moved their gazes from the little body in Kate's arms. But Castle did speak. "Mother, Jim, we'd like you to meet Royce Arthur. Roy."

There was silence, enough that for a second, they pulled their gaze away from the baby and glanced at their parents. Jim was smiling, nodding slowly while Martha pretended she wasn't crying.

"Beautiful. A fitting tribute to two important people in your life, Kate," said Jim, walking around the bed to kiss his daughter's forehead. "Though… Arthur?" he asked, looking over at Castle.

Castle grinned, catching one of Kate's pinkies in his. "For Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, of course!"

Martha laughed, giving Castle a hug from behind. "And a fitting literary reference for you both."

We're glad you approve. Now, go get everyone else and we'll make the announcement."

Both grandparents left to get the waiting room full of people, both of them grabbing a handful of tissues as the passed the box sitting on the counter.

"Castle…" Kate finally managed, brushing a finger over her son's cheek and watching him yawn.

"I know, Kate." Castle pressed his cheek to his wife's, looking down at little Royce.

It was Kate that turned her head to kiss Castle. "My dad was right. It was worth it."

* * *

><p><em>AN: And with that, so ends All My Secrets. Now, indulge me an emotional closing author's note here._

_There is something about this story that bears repeating, mostly because I still can't believe it - All My Secrets started as a one-shot. That means a single chapter originally titled "Late." And we've just closed on Chapter Twenty-Four, the same number of episodes in a full season. That still blows my mind. My little one-shot, based on the wish for a Castle/Beckett kiss in the rain, turned into a story that has almost 300 reviews, is listed as one of 110 people's Favorite Stories, and is on 240 Story Alerts. Not to mention the lists it has made on tumblr recommendations__. In addition, it is officially the correct length to have been submitted to NaNoWriMo - they require 50,000 words to win and All My Secrets has 52,188 (without my author's notes). Let's see if I can pull a repeat performance in November, shall we?_

_Without a reader, a story is just a grouping of words. It is the reader that really drives someone to write something of quality, something they would want to read. And I am truly humbled at the number of people who have made All My Secrets a success. I know there has been some interest in a sequel - I am open to continuing All My Secrets with a different story. I have a few ideas to play around with before then, but if the audience stays hooked on Kate, Castle, and little Roy, I will certainly return to them._

_To the numerous people who said that, if my dream of becoming a writer does come true, you'd buy my first book - I'll be taking names and addresses so I can send signed copies to you all. If ever I need a confidence booster during a rough writing patch, I now know where to come._

_I wish I could name you all personally because each one of you deserve recognition for your role in moving All My Secrets forward. One person I must point out is my plucky sidekick, Jenn. Without your constant begging after I tease you on twitter and tumblr, some of this would never have happened. It's all on you now to get One and Only done so I can flail over that and beg you for new updates!_

_Finally, I'd like to thank the person behind it all, because without him, this wouldn't have happened. So a heartfelt "thank you" to Andrew W. Marlowe and his crew of genius writers. With every episode, you all inspire me to become a better writer and a better person. I will eternally be grateful to you._

**_Thank you all for reading. It has been a pleasure entertaining you. Always._**


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